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Thread: Some Can Relate...

  1. #1
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    Default Some Can Relate...

    FT CAMPBELL, KY – A soldier deployed to Afghanistan for nearly 13 days has been recalled from the volatile Helmand province to take his wife to an appointment for a severe sinus infection, sources confirmed.

    After receiving a message from the American Red Cross, Sgt. Timothy Kay returned to his wife Cynthia’s arms in a tearful, but happy reunion at Nashville International Airport.

    “With Mrs. Kay’s parents in town, we thought that it wouldn’t be appropriate to ask them to take their daughter for such an important procedure,” explained Emilie Beauregard, a nurse at Blanchfield Army Community Hospital. “That, added to the extensive support structure of the unit Family Readiness Group, we felt that the only humane thing to do was to ask his battalion commander to allow Sgt. Kay to come home to drive his wife to the hospital.”

    Lt. Col. Michael Steinsifer, commander of the 326th Engineer Battalion, acted swiftly to ensure that Kay received as much time as he needed to take care of his significant other.

    “We know that a soldier is only as strong as his support back home,” said Steinsifer, “And I run a battalion that places the well-being of soldiers’ families above everything else.”

    When asked how long his soldier was going to be stateside, Steinsifer replied that although Kay was given 30 days to “make sure everything was A-OK with the old lady,” he insisted that his battalion was operating off of a new system of “flex-time leave” that is currently being tested by the Department of the Army.

    “You see,” Steinsifer elucidated, “Back in the old days, soldiers were restricted by all these rules and regulations as to when they could take leave and everything else. Now, what we’re doing with Sgt. Kay is to loosen up those confines to increase the morale and welfare of the unit. Honestly, he can come back whenever he feels like it, as long as he’s checking in back here by phone every week.”

    When reached by phone, Kay said, “Everything’s alright but, my wife has to get a follow-up appointment next week to make sure the infection didn’t spread. Then I need to drive her to get her prescription refilled because the doctor says that she shouldn’t drive while on these meds. After that she needs to see a specialist up in Nashville because she might have multiple sclerosis.”

    Because of the outstanding work Kay is doing, his commander has put him up for an Army Commendation Medal. Kay says the work is its own reward, especially since he continues to receive combat pay.

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Some Can Relate...

    This has got to be fake. Holy. Shit.
    “To err is human, to blame it on somebody else shows management potential.” - Unknown

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Some Can Relate...

    Interweb hoax...some Blog BS.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Some Can Relate...

    Duffle blog at its finest.

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    Default Re: Some Can Relate...

    My favorite Duffle Blog post was the one about the spouse who was rescued with a Doritos bag stuck over her head in the PX parking lot.

    A wildlife expert speculated the spouse became ensnared in the Doritos bag when startled by a shocking revelation on the Jerry Springer Show.

    They managed to free her from the bag and released her back into the housing area.

    Don't you just love a happy ending?

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Some Can Relate...

    Quote Originally Posted by Absinthe Anecdote View Post
    My favorite Duffle Blog post was the one about the spouse who was rescued with a Doritos bag stuck over her head in the PX parking lot.

    A wildlife expert speculated the spouse became ensnared in the Doritos bag when startled by a shocking revelation on the Jerry Springer Show.

    They managed to free her from the bag and released her back into the housing area.

    Don't you just love a happy ending?
    BA-HAHAHAHHA!

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Some Can Relate...

    Quote Originally Posted by Absinthe Anecdote View Post
    My favorite Duffle Blog post was the one about the spouse who was rescued with a Doritos bag stuck over her head in the PX parking lot.

    A wildlife expert speculated the spouse became ensnared in the Doritos bag when startled by a shocking revelation on the Jerry Springer Show.

    They managed to free her from the bag and released her back into the housing area.

    Don't you just love a happy ending?
    Dependopotamus to the Maximus

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Some Can Relate...

    I liked the one about not leaving your lieutenant in the car on a hot day with the doors locked and windows up.

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Some Can Relate...

    Quote Originally Posted by TSgt"M" View Post
    I liked the one about not leaving your lieutenant in the car on a hot day with the doors locked and windows up.
    I just might send Duffel Blog an email and ask them if they need any writers.

    That sounds like a fun job; I wonder if it pays anything?

  10. #10
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    Default Re: Some Can Relate...

    Quote Originally Posted by Absinthe Anecdote View Post
    I just might send Duffel Blog an email and ask them if they need any writers.

    That sounds like a fun job; I wonder if it pays anything?
    I think we should do our own stories here.

    Airman arrested for biting K9. Dog to recieve rabies shots.

    An airman who was trying to avoid detainment was taken down by a K9. The airman in turn bit the dog. The dog is undergoing treatment and is suffering from PTSD.
    Insert clever quote here...

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