Quote Originally Posted by Rusty Jones View Post
What I'm saying is that children need to understand the results of their actions and how they affect others. If they're only taught to fear punishment, then there'd be no intrinsic demotivator if they believe that they can get away with it.

Of course it's not ONLY taught to fear punishment. There's much more to it...consistency being the main thing. I never had to be spanked past the age of 8 or 9 because I knew what would happen if I did...and I knew my parents would follow through. The was no "I'm gonna count to 3"...no walking out of the store with the candy if I threw a tantrum (at a younger age). By the time I was 8 or 9 grounding worked just fine, and wasn't needed very often.

What worked the best at a younger age is when I'd do something wrong and my dad would whip my ass right in front of my friends. It embarrassed the shit out of me. There was no social media then so this was the closest thing to public shaming there was...or in the aisle of the store, etc.

And I don't resent him. I don't feel he should have done anything differently. I love them both dearly an respect the way I was raised.

Never once was I told how my actions affected others. Never once did they explain to me why it was happening because I already knew.

And the main thing is that, at a later age, I never had a need to try to "get away with" anything because I knew what they expected and I knew the consequences if I didn't follow the rules.