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Thread: Shamed on Facebook

  1. #11
    Senior Member Rusty Jones's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sandsjames View Post
    Maybe, maybe not. I'd rather have parents showing off by disciplining their children than listen to parents brag about how they are their child's best friend.
    But since when has being some uber-badass equated to effective parenting? I'd put money on it that that this isn't the first time that she engaged in badassery with her daughter... but whatever she was doing wasn't working up until that point.

    I do believe that what you refer to as being your child's "friend" can work, if done correctly. Fear of getting the belt is one thing, but I think that compliance with the rules solely out of fear of the consequences means that someone will break those rules if they knew that there would be no consequences for it.

    But... what about a scenario where you know that your parents have certain expectations of you... and you took into consideration how your parents would feel before you decided to do a certain thing? If you knew that your parents would be disappointed or hurt by you violating their expectations... to me, that's a bigger deal than getting beat with a belt. Getting beat with a belt may hurt for a few minutes, but then you go on about your day. Knowing that you hurt your parents after they've established that trust in you? That doesn't simply go away.

    Mr. T grew up in Robert T. Taylor Homes, which was arguably the most dangerous housing project in the US before it was torn down back in 2008. He lived a life where he's seen rape and murder with his own eyes on a regular basis; and he attributed making it out of there to having that type of relationship with his mother.
    "Well... Uber's going to "driverless" cars soon, and their research probably shows that they're a natural fit (when it comes to getting paid for doing nothing)."
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  2. #12
    Senior Member Absinthe Anecdote's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sandsjames View Post
    http://www.cnn.com/2015/05/21/living...deo/index.html

    I am really loving these videos of parents treating kids like they need to be treated. All the "experts" in the article need to STFU, IMNSHO. More stuff like this and kids might actually realize there are consequences for their actions.
    This is a very unsophisticated way of disciplining a child that causes more harm than good.

    In the case that was spotlighted in this article, a 13 year-old girl pretending to be 19, it even could expose her to even more danger.

    Plus, it smacks of hypocrisy.

    Your child misuses social media, so what do you do as the responsible parent? Misuse social media to even a greater extent to shame a child.
    All behold that fancy strutting peacock, the bake sale diva...

  3. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by sandsjames View Post
    Maybe, maybe not. I'd rather have parents showing off by disciplining their children than listen to parents brag about how they are their child's best friend.
    Same here. Heck the # of times i have seen parents just stand by and do NOTHING when their kid was messing around badly, makes me wonder whether they even know what discipline is.

  4. #14
    Senior Member TJMAC77SP's Avatar
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    I see both sides of this argument but tend to agree more with, "it sounds like a good idea but in execution really isn't".

    Having said that, a comment about the Walmart stars got me thinking and when someone shared a set on FB I took a look.

    What do you all think of this father's lesson. Not using social media but certainly putting it out in public.




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  5. #15
    Senior Member Bos Mutus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TJMAC77SP View Post
    What do you all think of this father's lesson.
    The spandex shorts under his short shorts dilutes the message
    The Voice of Reason

  6. #16
    Senior Member Rusty Jones's Avatar
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    I got my last spanking at the age of 13. Mostly because, by the age of ten, I was able to rationalize what is and isn't worth taking a beating for; and made my decisions from there. I developed a greater tolerance for it, and it stopped working all together.

    Increasing your child's pain threshold is one thing, but I think we live in a society that's rapidly losing its sense of shame... and embarrassing our children isn't helping the situation.
    "Well... Uber's going to "driverless" cars soon, and their research probably shows that they're a natural fit (when it comes to getting paid for doing nothing)."
    -Rainmaker, referencing black males

  7. #17
    Senior Member TJMAC77SP's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bos Mutus View Post
    The spandex shorts under his short shorts dilutes the message
    I agree...................
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  8. #18
    Banned sandsjames's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rusty Jones View Post
    But since when has being some uber-badass equated to effective parenting? I'd put money on it that that this isn't the first time that she engaged in badassery with her daughter... but whatever she was doing wasn't working up until that point.

    I do believe that what you refer to as being your child's "friend" can work, if done correctly. Fear of getting the belt is one thing, but I think that compliance with the rules solely out of fear of the consequences means that someone will break those rules if they knew that there would be no consequences for it.

    But... what about a scenario where you know that your parents have certain expectations of you... and you took into consideration how your parents would feel before you decided to do a certain thing? If you knew that your parents would be disappointed or hurt by you violating their expectations... to me, that's a bigger deal than getting beat with a belt. Getting beat with a belt may hurt for a few minutes, but then you go on about your day. Knowing that you hurt your parents after they've established that trust in you? That doesn't simply go away.

    Mr. T grew up in Robert T. Taylor Homes, which was arguably the most dangerous housing project in the US before it was torn down back in 2008. He lived a life where he's seen rape and murder with his own eyes on a regular basis; and he attributed making it out of there to having that type of relationship with his mother.

    Every kid responds differently to different styles of discipline. Even two kids in the same family. Some need the physical spankings, some need the guilt of disappointing, some need stuff taken away. There's no one size fits all.

  9. #19
    Senior Member Rusty Jones's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sandsjames View Post
    Every kid responds differently to different styles of discipline. Even two kids in the same family. Some need the physical spankings, some need the guilt of disappointing, some need stuff taken away. There's no one size fits all.
    What I'm saying is that children need to understand the results of their actions and how they affect others. If they're only taught to fear punishment, then there'd be no intrinsic demotivator if they believe that they can get away with it.
    "Well... Uber's going to "driverless" cars soon, and their research probably shows that they're a natural fit (when it comes to getting paid for doing nothing)."
    -Rainmaker, referencing black males

  10. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by sandsjames View Post
    Every kid responds differently to different styles of discipline. Even two kids in the same family. Some need the physical spankings, some need the guilt of disappointing, some need stuff taken away. There's no one size fits all.
    Very true. My brother was more of the needing physical discipline to get it in his head to not mess up, where a shaming worked for me sometimes, but i still needed a spanking now and then.

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