Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 27

Thread: Single parents: Mom VS Dad

  1. #1
    Senior Member WILDJOKER5's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    939
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)

    Single parents: Mom VS Dad

    So, I was having a good discussion with a highly educated (doctorate in curriculum writting for schools) conservative woman. We are discussing the negatives and positives of single parents and what the negative effects are on kids who dont see one parent as much as the other. Based on her own experience, her son was emotionally scared when her ex legally took the kid from her at about 2-3 yo. Long story short, they split custody right down the middle now. She highly encourages me to give my ex more time with the kids, currently split 75/25 in my favor.

    Now, other than the fact that I didnt chose the divorce, and she went off with someone else, I got custody. I have been researching the negative effects on single parent households to try and find studies of the serious negative effects on kids living with their dads most of the time. There are plenty of studies out there of general single parents, and kids growing up fatherless. One stat was that kids without a father make up 75% of all dropouts. The only thing I have been able to see on the negative effects of kids without, or less time with their mother is something that said kids who were predisposed to mental issues already would be effected mentally. But the thing about this study was that it if the child was devoid of any parental affection and attention, they would be harmed.

    Another stat was that kids without fathers are more apt to commit suicide, or end up in jail.

    The most current break down ratio of single fathers to mothers is 18/82% respectively. So, is there any factual evidence that in a mutual break up of a marriage, why is there more weight given to the mothers to get custody over a man?
    Progressivism; such great ideas, they need to force you to follow them.

    Socialism is for the people, not the socialist.

    Economic Left/Right: 7.38
    Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -3.08
    politicalcompass.org

  2. #2
    Senior Member WILDJOKER5's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    939
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    I also couldnt find if they meant fatherless as in with no father in the picture at all or just with the mother most of the time.
    Progressivism; such great ideas, they need to force you to follow them.

    Socialism is for the people, not the socialist.

    Economic Left/Right: 7.38
    Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -3.08
    politicalcompass.org

  3. #3
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Columbus, ohio
    Posts
    3,329
    Mentioned
    29 Post(s)
    Are there any studies out there where the main focus is single father parents?

  4. #4
    Senior Member WILDJOKER5's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    939
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by garhkal View Post
    Are there any studies out there where the main focus is single father parents?
    Not that I saw really? And I dont know if the studies distinguish between the mother or father getting remarried and how that impacts the children.
    Progressivism; such great ideas, they need to force you to follow them.

    Socialism is for the people, not the socialist.

    Economic Left/Right: 7.38
    Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -3.08
    politicalcompass.org

  5. #5
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Location
    Korea
    Posts
    170
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    The problem is that most states award custody to the female just because she is the "mom". I wouldnt count any studies to be all that reliable when there are so many factors going into a single parent household. In my case I am the more caring parent however that means little to the courts. They only care about who the mom is and that is who got custody. In the case with my kids (one of which is a special needs child) the results would be different seeing as they are not going to the parent who could take better care of them. That said, I think it would be hard to have a study based on these sort of things because there is just so much involved with it. I do not see how you could have to identical parents raise a kid the same way with the only difference being that one is a male and one is a female. The environment is going play a huge part in how the kids turn out. Just my thoughts at least.

  6. #6
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Columbus, ohio
    Posts
    3,329
    Mentioned
    29 Post(s)
    Exactly. Single mom a in town Z raising 2 kids, is going to have a different impact on the development of those kids, than single mom B raising 2 kids as well, but in town I. In addition the economic status of the parent can also make a difference, as well as family base in the are (aunts/uncles/grand parents etc) that can help out.

  7. #7
    Senior Member WILDJOKER5's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    939
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by raider8169 View Post
    The problem is that most states award custody to the female just because she is the "mom". I wouldnt count any studies to be all that reliable when there are so many factors going into a single parent household. In my case I am the more caring parent however that means little to the courts. They only care about who the mom is and that is who got custody. In the case with my kids (one of which is a special needs child) the results would be different seeing as they are not going to the parent who could take better care of them. That said, I think it would be hard to have a study based on these sort of things because there is just so much involved with it. I do not see how you could have to identical parents raise a kid the same way with the only difference being that one is a male and one is a female. The environment is going play a huge part in how the kids turn out. Just my thoughts at least.
    You definitely make great points. Biggest detriment to kids was always that the parents got divorced in the first place. At least where I am, at least they take into consideration who broke the marriage in deciding who would get the kid(s).
    Progressivism; such great ideas, they need to force you to follow them.

    Socialism is for the people, not the socialist.

    Economic Left/Right: 7.38
    Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -3.08
    politicalcompass.org

  8. #8
    Senior Member USN - Retired's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Ewa Beach, Hawaii
    Posts
    702
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Here's an interesting story...

    Judge Orders Deployed US Sailor To Attend Custody Hearing Or Lose Daughter, Face Arrest

    I wonder whether that story will appear in the military times magazine?

    Here's an article with a video...

    http://abcnews.go.com/US/sailor-serv...ry?id=24208298
    Last edited by USN - Retired; 06-21-2014 at 11:38 PM.

  9. #9
    Senior Member WILDJOKER5's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    939
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by USN - Retired View Post
    Here's an interesting story...

    Judge Orders Deployed US Sailor To Attend Custody Hearing Or Lose Daughter, Face Arrest

    I wonder whether that story will appear in the military times magazine?
    How can that be if he was never served with paperwork of the subpoena? Sadly, this is craziness. The father is the legal custodian of the daughter, and when he is gone, he has every legal right to appoint a care giver for the child who does not have to be the biological mother. The only thing the caregiver must do is follow the rules of the parenting plan and give the biological mother time with the kids as stated. My kids would stay with my parents in my house IF I was ever to deploy again. To force the kids back with their biological mother gives the biological mother grounds to fight for majority custody at a later date as long as she didn't screw up again. I am thankful I live in a more forward thinking state that gives equal consideration to both father and mother as who would be a better parental unit for primary custody of the kids. You know, that whole "women are equal to men" thing...except in the cases that men have commonly been looked less upon in other facets of life like this.
    Progressivism; such great ideas, they need to force you to follow them.

    Socialism is for the people, not the socialist.

    Economic Left/Right: 7.38
    Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -3.08
    politicalcompass.org

  10. #10
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Columbus, ohio
    Posts
    3,329
    Mentioned
    29 Post(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by WILDJOKER5 View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by USN - Retired View Post
    Here's an interesting story...

    Judge Orders Deployed US Sailor To Attend Custody Hearing Or Lose Daughter, Face Arrest

    I wonder whether that story will appear in the military times magazine?

    Here's an article with a video...

    http://abcnews.go.com/US/sailor-serv...ry?id=24208298
    How can that be if he was never served with paperwork of the subpoena? Sadly, this is craziness. The father is the legal custodian of the daughter, and when he is gone, he has every legal right to appoint a care giver for the child who does not have to be the biological mother. The only thing the caregiver must do is follow the rules of the parenting plan and give the biological mother time with the kids as stated. My kids would stay with my parents in my house IF I was ever to deploy again. To force the kids back with their biological mother gives the biological mother grounds to fight for majority custody at a later date as long as she didn't screw up again. I am thankful I live in a more forward thinking state that gives equal consideration to both father and mother as who would be a better parental unit for primary custody of the kids. You know, that whole "women are equal to men" thing...except in the cases that men have commonly been looked less upon in other facets of life like this.
    That judge needs to go visit the men with the white coats, as he must be insane!

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •