Okay freaks, yes it is I, THE MACHINE, making a rare cameo appearance here!

Not that anyone really cares, but whatever. It's cool to think I'm a legend in my own mind.

Anycase, I saw perhaps the BEST EXAMPLE of AIRMAN LAZINESS yesterday, as I am at the Ramstein Laundry-mat, waiting for my holey underwear and my "Happy Sock" to finish drying in the dryer. Amidst the ear-piercing screams of an obnoxious toddler, the blaring of gospel-hymns through headphones by a black Army he/she/it, and the creepy vibes of some foreign national dude, there was this one Senior Airman who went to use the vending machine. This kid was your typical gaming nerd - short haircut, glasses, and a gamer gut, who was in need of his afternoon snack. When he deposited the money, his selection did not drop like it should've. Instead of pushing hard on the vending machine or giving it a kick or two, Airman Snot looked at me and said "The machine didn't give me my snack".

I looked at him for a moment, wondering if this dude was for real. I then replied "So what you're asking for is for some brute strength to knock the snack down, so you can eat it".

"Yeah".

I looked at the freaky-deaky foreign national guy and said "I have a bad shoulder injury. No way can I do this".

For Nat guy knocked the snack down with one quick push, and Airman Snot went about his merry way, eating his bag of Doritos while perusing through an EVE on-line book.

Wow. When airmen are too damn lazy to give a vending machine a good push, in order to get their fill of grease, cholesterol, and salt, you know that the Air Force is royally boned.


After all, what is the PT test for, if not for that?