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Thread: Gay troops can be authorized up to 10 days of "marriage leave"

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    Senior Member TJMAC77SP's Avatar
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    Re: Gay troops can be authorized up to 10 days of "marriage leave"

    Quote Originally Posted by Silverback View Post
    20+Years,

    I agree with you. It makes sense for overseas assignments but not for CONUS.
    Why does it makes sense in any case?

    An AF member is assigned overseas. He/She meets a civilian (of the oppostie sex) on line (or they are dating before departure on the overseas assignment). After several months they realize they are in love and decide to get married. What do they do? Well, they can wait until the military member's DEROS and is back in the CONUS or he/she can take ordinary leave and get married...............................exactly why couldn't a same sex couple do the same (without the special considerations)?
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    Re: Gay troops can be authorized up to 10 days of "marriage leave"

    Quote Originally Posted by 20+Years View Post
    No, it won't work both ways, as heterosexual marriage will be offered wherever we are. This only applies to the service not being offered in your location, not just choosing "where" you want to be hitched.

    Once all states pass gay marriage (if they ever do), it will kill this policy stateside.
    Apparently you didn't actually read my post... If you are stationed let's say in Germany-and want to get married. A homosexual gets to go back to the states without taking (chargable) leave whereas a heterosexual has to take (chargable) leave. They could literally be getting married in the same courthouse/church but one has to take leave and the other doesn't. Either couple CAN legally get married in Germany-IF they are willing to wait at least 9 weeks and jump through dozens of hoops... Regardless of the eligibility to get married, the Supreme Court said the DoD has to recognize STATE marriages-not international.

    Stateside-a homosexual can get 7 days free because state law prevents them from getting married. A heterosexual that wants to get married tomorrow doesn't get 7 free days because state law prevents them from getting married (in that timeline).... Bit more of a stretch I will grant you but either way, it is the variation in state law that prevents the marriage.
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    Re: Gay troops can be authorized up to 10 days of "marriage leave"

    Quote Originally Posted by TJMAC77SP View Post
    Why does it makes sense in any case?

    An AF member is assigned overseas. He/She meets a civilian (of the oppostie sex) on line (or they are dating before departure on the overseas assignment). After several months they realize they are in love and decide to get married. What do they do? Well, they can wait until the military member's DEROS and is back in the CONUS or he/she can take ordinary leave and get married...............................exactly why couldn't a same sex couple do the same (without the special considerations)?
    Are you suggesting that law makers use common sense when crafting the rules?

    Now that is just preposterous! Don't you know that first you have to score points with your special interest group by attempting to reward them extra bennies, then you wait till one of your opponents objects to your legislation, then you trash them in the press for being bigoted.

    Common sense has nothing to do with it. It is all kabuki theater.

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    Re: Gay troops can be authorized up to 10 days of "marriage leave"

    Quote Originally Posted by 20+Years View Post
    Holy nut bags. So if a couple is 120 miles away from a state that has gay marriage, they get 7 days??? Let me restate... drive 2 hours, get married, and recieve 7 days of leave. Oh hell nah. That is plain and simple wrong. These blanket policies are B.S. I am not against giving them leave for a service not in the area they should be all rights be entitled too, but make it reasonable. Within 8 hrs = 3 days, ect. Basically, I see us now advocating honeymoon time for only gay troops.
    This is the craziest part to me. 100 miles is not all that far. Like you said basically gay people get honeymoon leave now. The other thing I find interesting is the retroactive benefits. That is going to be a nightmare. Let's say for example I am gay and I have been living with my boyfriend in Ohio for 5 years. Since Ohio doesn't recognize same sex marriage we are not married. This policy says I can get retroactive benefits but it doesn't mention what I need to do. In order for retroactive pay do I have to get married right now? What if because of time constraints we are unable to get married until next year? Do I still get retroactive benefits even for the time we are not married? How can that possibly be legal?

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    Re: Gay troops can be authorized up to 10 days of "marriage leave"

    Quote Originally Posted by Pullinteeth View Post
    Apparently you didn't actually read my post... If you are stationed let's say in Germany-and want to get married. A homosexual gets to go back to the states without taking (chargable) leave whereas a heterosexual has to take (chargable) leave. They could literally be getting married in the same courthouse/church but one has to take leave and the other doesn't. Either couple CAN legally get married in Germany-IF they are willing to wait at least 9 weeks and jump through dozens of hoops... Regardless of the eligibility to get married, the Supreme Court said the DoD has to recognize STATE marriages-not international.

    Stateside-a homosexual can get 7 days free because state law prevents them from getting married. A heterosexual that wants to get married tomorrow doesn't get 7 free days because state law prevents them from getting married (in that timeline).... Bit more of a stretch I will grant you but either way, it is the variation in state law that prevents the marriage.
    Look here skippy. I read your post. My level of comprehension may be in question, but whatever. Regardless we are on the same page.
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    Senior Member Shaken1976's Avatar
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    Re: Gay troops can be authorized up to 10 days of "marriage leave"

    10 days seems a bit excessive. I drove to Texas, got married, and went back to work the next day. If I had 10 days I could have gone home and had my family witness it. I am going to blame my not getting 10 days on the failure of my marriage. Had I gotten ten days my marriage would have survived. Lol
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    Re: Gay troops can be authorized up to 10 days of "marriage leave"

    Quote Originally Posted by SomeRandomGuy View Post
    This is the craziest part to me. 100 miles is not all that far. Like you said basically gay people get honeymoon leave now. The other thing I find interesting is the retroactive benefits. That is going to be a nightmare. Let's say for example I am gay and I have been living with my boyfriend in Ohio for 5 years. Since Ohio doesn't recognize same sex marriage we are not married. This policy says I can get retroactive benefits but it doesn't mention what I need to do. In order for retroactive pay do I have to get married right now? What if because of time constraints we are unable to get married until next year? Do I still get retroactive benefits even for the time we are not married? How can that possibly be legal?
    I would imagine the retroactive benefits would apply to same-sex couples who were married in a state that recognizes same-sex marriage, yet couldn't recieve benefits normally given to military spouses due to the defense of marriage act, which goverened federal marriage benefits and defined marriage to opposite sex couples only. I agree that it's going to be a nightmare to process, but I think it's the right thing to do. I'm on the fence regarding the leave. 10 days is pretty excessive, unless you're CONUS and waiting on Space-A. I appreciate the DOD trying to reduce the hardships same-sex couples face living in a state that doesn't recognize marriage equality, but it seems like the "extra" benefit provided here might do more harm than good, and reduce the strength of the argument same-sex couples make for being equal. If I were in a same-sex relationship and wanted to get married, I'd probably decline the extra days and just use my chargable leave.

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    Re: Gay troops can be authorized up to 10 days of "marriage leave"

    Quote Originally Posted by Shaken1976 View Post
    10 days seems a bit excessive. I drove to Texas, got married, and went back to work the next day. If I had 10 days I could have gone home and had my family witness it. I am going to blame my not getting 10 days on the failure of my marriage. Had I gotten ten days my marriage would have survived. Lol
    Lol... when I was early in my career, we didn't get the "bonding" time a father gets now for a newborn. I say its the AFs fault I never bonded with my kid.
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    Re: Gay troops can be authorized up to 10 days of "marriage leave"

    How about making it fair this way...
    If a servicemember wants to get married and is currently overseas and the country they are currently stationed is a non-english speaking country (which eliminates England and Ireland), then the servicemember should be allowed 10 days PTDY to return CONUS to get married.
    This is will be fair for everyone and it'll be safer too.

    One question though...what if a servicemember is station in a country where homosexuality is illegal or very hostile towards it? Turkey is one country that is hostile towards homosexuality, but also many Middle Eastern countries are as well. Will the DoD make those assignments dependent restricted tours for those servicemember or give family seperation pay? That seems very unfair to heterosexual couples

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    Re: Gay troops can be authorized up to 10 days of "marriage leave"

    Why not just make it so chaplains can give binding marriages to anybody? Problem solved....
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