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Thread: Airman Ironed His Chin (and other dumb things Amn do)

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    Senior Member raustin0017's Avatar
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    Re: Airman Ironed His Chin (and other dumb things Amn do)

    Dorm sweep...OSI had inside info there were several who had just purchased junk from an off-base informant. All Chiefs & Shirts attended. SF were out with the K-9s. We split up into two person teams...went room to room.

    About 1/2 way finished got a call to come to a certain room. They had found the A1C with his wife & girlfriend. And inside the room was a cage...with two raccoons. Not babies...big raccoons. WTF? Turned out the wife and her girlfriend came for a 'visit'. No one in the Sq even knew this guy was married let alone had a thing for raccoons.

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    Senior Member BENDER56's Avatar
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    Re: Airman Ironed His Chin (and other dumb things Amn do)

    Quote Originally Posted by Rainmaker View Post
    "A drunk could not have climbed to the single-story hotel’s roof," he said. "Even for a young man in good shape, it would not be easy to climb onto the rooftop."

    Not true. Rainmaker has scaled many water towers and bridges back when he was a young drunk.
    Same here. The spokesman had it backward; a sober person would never have tried it to begin with.
    "Every society honors its live conformists and its dead troublemakers."
    ~Mignon McLaughlin

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    Re: Airman Ironed His Chin (and other dumb things Amn do)

    CENTCOM AOR circa 2004. I was deployed as part of CENTCOM Joint Security Directorate to perform anti-terrorism/force protection vulnerability assessments. We assessed DoD, DOS facilities, residences, roads, airports, seaports, hotels, etc.
    In one country we were assessing the embassy to include the residences of the embassy staff. A USAF O-6 was the ranking military member assigned. As we were assessing his residence (he was TDY) I noticed his nice auto (Mercedes, BMW, or Audi...I forget exactly) in the carport. Just wanting to check it out I went in the carport for a peek. Yep, you guessed it...there is was lower left hand corner of the windshield...nice bright BLUE DoD vehicle sticker...complete with "Base X" in USAF Officer Blue. Oh, and just in case local terrorists were not fully briefed on DoD sticker recognition...yep you guessed it...there was his nice bright blue AF 0-6 Eagle sticker.

    I pointed in out to the Mrs and told her that the Col should remove the sticker when he returned. Made for a nice picture for our outbrief and report!
    "Never force a fart in Djibouti"..."Always marry your second wife first"..."If anyone says that you're not a team player, maybe they're on the wrong team"..."You can gold plate a turd and it's still a turd"

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    Senior Member raustin0017's Avatar
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    Re: Airman Ironed His Chin (and other dumb things Amn do)

    Elmendorf AFB 1989. Mobile Aerial Port Flight. We had a 22 person team responsible for rigging all airdrop training loads and drop zone recovery. One of the MSgts was reading the Anchorage paper free want add section. There was an add for Winter Sleeping Bags...$100 each. Guy listed his phone number. MSgt calls the number...and got a recording. "You have reached the home of SrA xxxxxxxxxxx, please leave your number and I will call you back." SrA xxxxxxxx was sitting in the same break room as the MSgt when he made the call. Fast forward to that evening. OSI knocked on SrA xxxxxxx front door and asked if they could look around. "Sure come on in." In the basement they found lockers full of brand new military equipment. He was our supply guy until that happened. Same guy was busted a few months before pumping MoGas into his POV. Got away with a LOR. The stolen equipment got him jail time and civilian status.

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    Re: Airman Ironed His Chin (and other dumb things Amn do)

    When I was in tech school we had an Amn who filled his camelback with vodka for PT. It was close to 90 degrees outside and we normally did a 30 minute run at your own pace for PT. This kid was jogging around sipping vodka. At some point he got really dehydrated and passed out. The ambulance came and rushed him to the hospital. MTLs were concerned until the doctor said, "He is fine just really drunk"

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    Senior Member raustin0017's Avatar
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    Re: Airman Ironed His Chin (and other dumb things Amn do)

    He was calling to purchase...but when the "Supply Guy" was advertising...he had to report.

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    Senior Member LogDog's Avatar
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    Re: Airman Ironed His Chin (and other dumb things Amn do)

    I've posted this story before but it's still funny enough to re-post it. At RAF Feltwell, we had our medical warehouse to support the hospital at RAF Lakenheath, six miles away. We had some IV solution (destrose in water) to destroy because it was expired and the procedure was to cut the bags open and flush the solution. The empty bags were then thrown in the dumpster. The problem with throwing them in the dumpster was the sugar in the dextrose attracted bees. Soon, the entire dumpster was teeming with bees so one of our Airmen decided the best was to get rid of the bees was set the dumpster on fire, which he did. The fire department on Feltwell responded, put out the fire, and had a "talk" with our Airman. Later in the year and each year thereafter, when the fire department gave us our annual fire extinguisher training they'd lite a pan of diesel fuel and have use demonstrate how to put it out. They always select our Airman who set the dumpster on fire by addressing him as "Fire Marshall Bill" to lead the demonstration.

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    Re: Airman Ironed His Chin (and other dumb things Amn do)

    Last tour in Iraq had a guy who was taking a shower and didn't hear the giant voice system call for a controlled detonation. He heard the loud boom and hit the floor in the latrine buck naked. He laid there for a few minutes until someone came in and froze when they saw a naked guy laying on the floor. My guy looks up and asks, "Have they sounded the all clear?" The guy says it was a controlled det and my guy hopped up and finished his business. The bad part of this story is that we found out about it because my guy came to office and told everyone.

    More in line with this thread my last squadron had a Capt who was prior Army. One day he was the MC for some ceremony and his service coat had all his ribbons with the 1/8 inch spacing like the Army does. I told him, you're not in the Army anymore fix your ribbons. He says he's allowed to wear his Army ribbons and I say but not with the space. Next time I see him in service dress he still had the spacing. One day he was wearing a white t-shirt with his ABUs because he says he forgot his tan t-shirt that day. I mean, it's not like he was new to the Air Force. He'd been in for about 5 years. I was embarrased since everyone, enlisted and officer, noticed what a mess this guys was (uniforms and duty performance). But, he didn't work for me so I couldn't tear him up, but his boss sure got a lot of feedback from me. Luckily that dirt bag seperated soon after.

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    Senior Member Chief_KO's Avatar
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    Re: Airman Ironed His Chin (and other dumb things Amn do)

    Keesler circa 2002. We graduated our students in Service Dress. Had a SrA (ANG) show up for graduation, first off he was executing the ever popular "Service Dress jacket button stress test"...had one of those buttons popped off it would have killed someone. But the real kicker was sewn above his stripes was his unit's patch (from his BDUs). Seems the lad was prior Army and "thought" the AF wore their unit insignia on their Service Dress like the Army.

    True story: On a students graduation report, there was a place for comments from the instructors. His read "tends to forget simple concepts, especially after lunch". New sq/cc came on board and called me in to discuss our flights comments..everyone else used the standard AF-speak. He didn't want us to change, just wanted to talk about how honest we were.
    "Never force a fart in Djibouti"..."Always marry your second wife first"..."If anyone says that you're not a team player, maybe they're on the wrong team"..."You can gold plate a turd and it's still a turd"

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    Re: Airman Ironed His Chin (and other dumb things Amn do)

    You may have to use your imagination on this one to picture it, but we always had FTAC Amn show up in service blues the first day so we could ensure they had a set, and they still fit. Its amazing how much weight some people gain in tech school...

    This one kid shows up, and he is authorized two ribbons. He is wearing them on a four ribbon rack. He pretty much mangled half of the third ribbon area off on the bottom row... including the pin... and the top row was just empty as could be. With a single pin holding it on the jacket, its just resting on the pocket edge when he is standing very still.

    I was speechless. He said there were no 2 ribbon racks at the BX, so he did what he could. At lunch I went to the BX, picked up the obviously available 2 ribbon rack and his 2 required ribbons, confiscated the set he wore for evidence it really happened. Utilized often for laughs and giggles.
    Advice from JD2780:

    "don't post angry"

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