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Thread: Dear Crusty

  1. #51

    Re: Dear Crusty

    ty... tyvm... ty!!

    And good for you, PM -- and thanks SO much for sharing all that. LOL

  2. #52
    axscntU8_Dpstv
    Guest

    Re: Dear Crusty

    This thread reminds me of:

    Ummmm...yeah....That's an overshare!

  3. #53
    Proud Mom
    Guest

    Re: Dear Crusty

    Quote Originally Posted by Rev Mike Large View Post
    ty... tyvm... ty!!

    And good for you, PM -- and thanks SO much for sharing all that. LOL

    Not a problem kiddo!! lmao

  4. #54
    Proud Mom
    Guest

    Re: Dear Crusty

    Quote Originally Posted by Your_Name_Here View Post
    Dear Crusty,

    I'm all bunched up in my PT shorts.

    Signed,
    Can't Shake Loose in Japan
    Quote Originally Posted by Shrike View Post
    Dear Crusty,
    I've been unsuccessful on the dating scene for quite some time. Well, I'm not proud of this, but some dude at a bar told me about these "Roofy" pills. He said girls will do anything you want after taking Roofies. So I bought a few.
    I haven't gotten a single girl to come home with me and I've been taking those damned Roofies every night for a week. I think I'm supposed to be taking it with food or something, too. As it is, I've just taken it with some beer, and it has some really bad side effects - my bung really hurts the next morning and I have a strange aftertaste in my mouth.

    What am I doing wrong?
    Quote Originally Posted by Measure Man View Post
    Dear Crusty,

    I smell fishy.

    What do you recommend?


    Sincerely,

    Les Denfres

    Dear Crusty,

    Your leaving your loyal readers with shorts up their butts, getting raped and smelling....ones picking wedgies, one has a sore bung and one stinks and there isn't enough febreeze for the entire thread!!

  5. #55

    Re: Dear Crusty

    Quote Originally Posted by Shrike View Post
    Dear Crusty,
    I've been unsuccessful on the dating scene for quite some time. Well, I'm not proud of this, but some dude at a bar told me about these "Roofy" pills. He said girls will do anything you want after taking Roofies. So I bought a few.
    I haven't gotten a single girl to come home with me and I've been taking those damned Roofies every night for a week. I think I'm supposed to be taking it with food or something, too. As it is, I've just taken it with some beer, and it has some really bad side effects - my bung really hurts the next morning and I have a strange aftertaste in my mouth.

    What am I doing wrong?
    (another guest columnist effort, since poor Crusty is overwhelmed with the requests for advice)

    Dear Shrike,
    Could it be that the combination of beer and the Roofies makes you really, really drunk and your jaw hurts from a bar fight and your 'bung' hurts from getting it kicked by the bouncer as you were tossed out? Certainly. That's a possibility. But I gotta say, I think maybe that's not how it went down (so to speak...)
    I really hate to explain this, but...
    That guy at the bar... the one who gave you the Roofies... he wasn't your friend, was he?
    Try to think back to that night, and the nights since then: by any chance, was he wearing seatless leather chaps, a studded dog collar, and bad eyeliner? Did he have any prison tats and did any of them read, "Precious," or "Bubba's Girl," or any such terms of prison endearment? Did he seem unusually interested in your virginal predicament?
    Poor, gentle reader -- it seems the tables have turned on you. The hunter became the hunted; the winless pitcher became an All-Pro catcher. Your "friend" made you a Grade-A example of how "tis better to give, than to receive."
    Better luck next time with the ladies. Ditch the roofies, dust off your A-game, and avoid horrendous introductory lines like "Your parents must've been terrorists, baby -- 'cause you da bomb!" or any references to "falling from heaven." Studies have shown that (surprisingly enough) these do not work any better than your Roofies plan -- but at least they don't leave you with a sore throat and poop chute.

    -- The Reverend Mike Large,
    Guest Columnist (again) for
    The Crustiest of the Crusty

  6. #56
    Senior Member CrustySMSgt's Avatar
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    Re: Dear Crusty

    Quote Originally Posted by Proud Mom View Post
    Dear Crusty,

    Your leaving your loyal readers with shorts up their butts, getting raped and smelling....ones picking wedgies, one has a sore bung and one stinks and there isn't enough febreeze for the entire thread!!
    lol... my appologies... I test for Chief on Tuesday, so I've been trying to keep my nose in the books... but of course I gotta come here on my breaks. Thanks to the Rev for picking up my slack!!
    "If a man is called to be a street sweeper, he should sweep the streets even as Michelangelo painted, or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry. He should sweep the street so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will pause to say, here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well. "

    Dr Martin Luther King, Jr.


    Chief Runner Amok of the Troll Cabal

  7. #57
    CVal
    Guest

    Re: Dear Crusty

    Dear Crusty,
    In my search for synonyms for crust, crusty, et al, I came across CRUST ~ Confederacy of Rascals and Unspeakably Suspicious Troublemakers. I think I know of a group that fits this description, but I can't quite place where I know it from. Oh hard-shelled one, would you please tell me?
    Signed,
    Trying Not To Pick This Crusty Scab

  8. #58
    Senior Member Shrike's Avatar
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    Re: Dear Crusty

    Quote Originally Posted by CrustySMSgt View Post
    lol... my appologies... I test for Chief on Tuesday, so I've been trying to keep my nose in the books... but of course I gotta come here on my breaks. Thanks to the Rev for picking up my slack!!
    Good luck, Crusty!
    Retirement rocks!


    A 1911 in the hand is better than 911 on the phone.

  9. #59
    Senior Member CrustySMSgt's Avatar
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    Re: Dear Crusty

    Quote Originally Posted by CVal View Post
    Dear Crusty,
    In my search for synonyms for crust, crusty, et al, I came across CRUST ~ Confederacy of Rascals and Unspeakably Suspicious Troublemakers. I think I know of a group that fits this description, but I can't quite place where I know it from. Oh hard-shelled one, would you please tell me?
    Signed,
    Trying Not To Pick This Crusty Scab
    Seems I too have encountered such a group somewhere...
    "If a man is called to be a street sweeper, he should sweep the streets even as Michelangelo painted, or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry. He should sweep the street so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will pause to say, here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well. "

    Dr Martin Luther King, Jr.


    Chief Runner Amok of the Troll Cabal

  10. #60
    Senior Member CrustySMSgt's Avatar
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    Re: Dear Crusty

    Quote Originally Posted by Shrike View Post
    Good luck, Crusty!
    Thanks! I need all the help I can get... lol
    "If a man is called to be a street sweeper, he should sweep the streets even as Michelangelo painted, or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry. He should sweep the street so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will pause to say, here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well. "

    Dr Martin Luther King, Jr.


    Chief Runner Amok of the Troll Cabal

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