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View Full Version : Mowing the yard, versus using Brushkiller



UncaRastus
08-08-2015, 08:00 PM
I have a John Deere Lawn Tractor. It does most of the yard very well. One thing does bother me. Living in the mid west, my lawn seems to grow 4-6 inches in a week. Using the JD doesn't bother me, but ...

A month ago, while I was laid up, my wife did the mowing. She came in crying, saying that she had killed a bunny rabbit, which she couldn't see, hidden in the grass.

I refrained from telling her to toss it to our bunny killing cat. Some things, well, you just don't say those kinds of things to your wife. Especially when she is bawling about having just decapitated a bunny.

Yesterday, I was out there, treating some areas not accessible to the JD. I was using a chemical treatment named Brushkiller, which seems to almost dissolve some stuff, such as grass, over time.

I am not sure about using it on my entire lawn. I know that I could live with a full on dirt lawn. But my wife may get kind of upset, even though I would explain to her that no animal will ever be mowed down again.

So. Should I file the idea in my round file? Or should I just wait for her to be out of town, and tell her that I don't know happened?

Why does she plant flowers, if I have to hand pick the weeds out of the flower beds, anyway?

"It's too hot for me to go out there!"

Yeah. OK. Brushkill it is.

Absinthe Anecdote
08-08-2015, 08:15 PM
This idea would be more expensive, but what about tilling the grass under and buying a few loads of white gravel and spreading that over your yard?

Depending on the style of your house, it might look better than grass.

Sell it to your wife by calling it a rock garden.

UncaRastus
08-09-2015, 12:41 PM
I thought about just pouring cement over the whole shebang, AA. Put in some green colorant, and it would look, um, natural!

Our house was built in 1895. 2 stories above, and a semi finished basement. Being at the northern start of the Ozarks, there is a slope to the land, and my back yard is fenced with chain link. There is a southern slope beyond the fence out to the street, with about a 35% slope. Right beyond the back fencing, there is a sheer drop off of about 6 feet. The side and the back was planted with trees and Rose of Sharon bushes. Everything from elm to mimosa to a hackberry tree.

My wife and I do live on a corner, by the way.

Now the lot behind us is cut down once a year, and there is no house there. So every kind of poison shrubbery abounds just behind the back fence. They seem to replant themselves every year onto our street facing slope.

There are wild grape vines all around the back yard, and on the neighbors side, the side not being on the street side, is overgrown with those vines, up to about 10 feet tall, which does give us some great privacy fencing. The bad thing is that on the neighbors side, again, there are some poison ivy that actually has grown very very very tall. The neighbor won't cut down the poison ivy.

The back fence is now grown over with wild grape vines also. About 20 to 25 feet tall. Which is better than looking out at the highway beyond that.

The rose of Sharon bushes on the street side have achieved mammoth size. At least I think they have. 30 feet tall is pretty well huge.

The mimosas are cut down and Tordon RTU is put into the stumps in the fall. They keep recurring because they are also found on the lawn across the street, and in my neighbors yard. Seed everywhere. They are beautiful trees, and they are the favorite place for hummingbirds. The bad thing is that they grow up to attack the power lines by the street. Phone lines, also. I do wish that the city would go underground with power and telephone lines like they do in California and other places, but this being a small town, that would be the last on the list for things to do for the power and telephone companies.

We have an aquifer that is under us. When it rains, the aquifer fills up, and our basement sump pump goes into action.

Anyway, as you can see, this property does present me with spring and fall activities, which includes using a tree lopper, a chainsaw, a Alligator Jaw made by Black and Decker, Tordon RTU, Brushkiller made by Bayer, a lot of sweat, a very sore back, my utility trailer, and me.

A couple of years ago, I went outside in the fall and cleaned up right behind the house. My wife actually helped! I cut. I pulled. I fought with english ivy. When I was done, my wife Angie said, "You do know that there was some low lying poison ivy in that mix, right?"

About two weeks later, my entire body was infected by that. I had to go the doctor and have a cortisone shot, because it was going systemic.

What was I thinking?

Now, my plan is swinging towards a yard fire, doing the back and side slope to our yard, fuelled by gasoline.

OK, so that is a joke.

Kind of.

Maybe.

AA? Do you want to come over, kick back, and watch the reenactment of Rome burning? I'll have a few Mason jars of some very fine moonshine to share!

Absinthe Anecdote
08-09-2015, 01:44 PM
Wow! That sounds like a labor intensive property.

Vines are annoying, I don't know why people intentionally plant them. I'm livining in a rented row home right now and a previous resident planted Wisteria and English Ivy. That stuff requires constant cutting to keep it under control.

UncaRastus
08-09-2015, 02:07 PM
AA,

You wouldn't happen to have any napalm bombs for sale, do you?

Absinthe Anecdote
08-09-2015, 02:37 PM
AA,

You wouldn't happen to have any napalm bombs for sale, do you?

Nope, besides most species of vines can easily absorb such an attack. Your tactic of going after the root system with herbicide holds more promise.

I recently went after the core root stem of my wisteria vine with a shovel.

It responded within a week by shooting out new feeler vines five to ten yards away from the core root bundle.

You probably need to consult with a horticulturalist or a landscaper to devise your next attack.

UncaRastus
08-09-2015, 02:55 PM
OK. A thermonuclear device was next on my list, anyhow.

To tell the truth, I don't even think that a 10 foot thick cement cap would solve this problem.

I will ask a horticulturist, though

Absinthe Anecdote
08-09-2015, 03:25 PM
OK. A thermonuclear device was next on my list, anyhow.

To tell the truth, I don't even think that a 10 foot thick cement cap would solve this problem.

I will ask a horticulturist, though

In the spring of 1946 there were new shoots popping up all over Hiroshima and Nagasaki.

You can scratch nukes off your list.

You could just stop all yard work and tell the wife that the haunted house look is the newest trend in Home and Gardens.

Herman Munster might move in next door to you.

efmbman
08-10-2015, 12:16 AM
The bad thing is that on the neighbors side, again, there are some poison ivy that actually has grown very very very tall. The neighbor won't cut down the poison ivy....

When I was done, my wife Angie said, "You do know that there was some low lying poison ivy in that mix, right?"

About two weeks later, my entire body was infected by that. I had to go the doctor and have a cortisone shot, because it was going systemic.

What was I thinking?

Just a helpful redneck solution... if you know you have been exposed to poison ivy / sumac / oak grab some kerosine and a rag and stand in shower. Soak the rag in the kerosine and wipe it all over you. Seriously... everywhere. The kerosine will break down the oil in the plant which is what causes the blisters and allows it to spread. It works. If you already used your bed and changed clothes, it may be too late. Do it as soon as you know you are exposed.

Mjölnir
08-10-2015, 12:32 AM
Just a helpful redneck solution... if you know you have been exposed to poison ivy / sumac / oak grab some kerosine and a rag and stand in shower. Soak the rag in the kerosine and wipe it all over you. Seriously... everywhere. The kerosine will break down the oil in the plant which is what causes the blisters and allows it to spread. It works. If you already used your bed and changed clothes, it may be too late. Do it as soon as you know you are exposed.

There is a product called Tec-Nu which works well too ... and is a bit safer to store in your bathroom than kerosene.

As efmbman points out, the biggest thing is getting the oil off your skin as soon as possible after contact. I have a couple of spots on our property that are/were heavily infested with poison ivy. I cut the vines at the base to kill it, let it dry out for a couple of months (DRY VINES STILL CAN MAKE YOU BREAK OUT). I go back while fully covered head to toe and rip it down/out and immediately afterward strip down and shower (cold water -- hot water will open your pores and let the oil past the top layer of skin) and use Tec-Nu or other oil dispersant -- I have even used gasoline.

If you cut the stuff down while it is still green, put it in plastic bags and let the bags sit in full sun for about a month to kill it off. While you could just throw it out your garbageman would likely appreciate you killing it off first.

BT BT

If you can get most of the kudzu & vines out ... try planting a wildflower mix. It is low maintenance and looks pretty ... especially in large swaths. The MTA here has a mix they use in the medians that is pretty good; your MTA or highway maintenance division may be able to tell you what mix of seeds they use.

Rainmaker
08-10-2015, 01:43 AM
I have a John Deere Lawn Tractor. It does most of the yard very well. One thing does bother me. Living in the mid west, my lawn seems to grow 4-6 inches in a week. Using the JD doesn't bother me, but ...

A month ago, while I was laid up, my wife did the mowing. She came in crying, saying that she had killed a bunny rabbit, which she couldn't see, hidden in the grass.

I refrained from telling her to toss it to our bunny killing cat. Some things, well, you just don't say those kinds of things to your wife. Especially when she is bawling about having just decapitated a bunny.

Yesterday, I was out there, treating some areas not accessible to the JD. I was using a chemical treatment named Brushkiller, which seems to almost dissolve some stuff, such as grass, over time.

I am not sure about using it on my entire lawn. I know that I could live with a full on dirt lawn. But my wife may get kind of upset, even though I would explain to her that no animal will ever be mowed down again.

So. Should I file the idea in my round file? Or should I just wait for her to be out of town, and tell her that I don't know happened?

Why does she plant flowers, if I have to hand pick the weeds out of the flower beds, anyway?

"It's too hot for me to go out there!"

Yeah. OK. Brushkill it is.

sounds like you need to get a couple of goats.

efmbman
08-10-2015, 01:42 PM
There is a product called Tec-Nu which works well too ... and is a bit safer to store in your bathroom than kerosene.

I said use (never said store) it in the shower (so you can rinse immediately). Tec-Nu does work well.

UncaRastus
08-10-2015, 02:19 PM
RM,

I have thought about getting a couple of sheep. They go down to the very roots of anything that grows. They are used to take care of kudzu, anyway. Out west, the cattle people hated the sheep people, because the sheep left the areas used for grazing leveled down to nothing, and beyond.

There is a Pomeranian, next door. We have a couple of Shih Tzus across the street, across the street, down one from the Shih Tzu house there lives a Min Pin. The Pom and the little Shihts and the Min Pin go outside to do their bidness, and my wife is climbing the walls, because of their incessant barking, while they are outside.*

I know that goats bleat. I also know that sheep do a lot of baaing. If I could find some dumb cane (dieffenbachia), which can take the voices from those animals, well, this might be something to pursue.

Also, I wouldn't have to go outside in this punishing heat and humidity, to hand pick weeds from Angie's flower beds. Because weeds and flowers be damned!

I still think that pouring cement all over the yards, 10 foot thick, is the other option. Wait until Angie is out of town to visit our daughter, and have cement trucks arrive. Mix the cement with about 10 tons of Brushkiller, and when she returns, I might offer the idea that there was a cement truck pull contest using our corner streets, and how an accident occurred, causing the spillage of a bunch of the cement trucks contents onto our property and the intersecting streets. I would also tell her that the city cleaned up the street, but left us to clean our own property.

*My wife had her thyroid partially removed, years ago, because of a tumor. Finally, her doctor did the right thing this year, prescribed and is now adjusting the dosage for levothyroxine. Angie has changed from being a withdrawn individual, depressed, snappy towards the dogs, etc., to being a very pleasant person to live with. Maybe she would love the sound of goats in the morning? That sounds like victory! Over the infestation of everything including weeds, poison ivy, etc..

Hopefully, she will embrace the shrill barking as something that occurs naturally. Then I wouldn't have to mute the goat/sheep. Or find where ever Angie is, and do the 'La la la la' thing every time the dogs are outside.

UncaRastus
08-17-2015, 01:56 PM
I have decided that since Whiteman AFB uses this town, it's bridges, etc. for doing its training missions, I will ask them to do a defoliation run, dumping Groundkill made by Ortho onto my property.

I am sure that since there will be a bit of overshoot, that will take care of some of the problems that I have with the neighboring mimosa trees spreading their seed pods onto my property.

Besides, if they happen to 'accidentally' manage to kill off one of my neighbor's landscaping in his backyard, I will give the crew a case of whisky. If they miss that yard somehow, I will rue the day that the curtain of wild grapevines and poison ivy is finally defeated, but not his yard, because my wife will see and then want our land to be landscaped just like his.

Can't be having that!

Does anyone know if the original equipment used in the spraying of Agent Orange is still lying about somewhere? That could make it easier for the mission at hand.

If, by any chance there are still some canisters of Agent Orange, I would prefer it if they use that. If they do use Agent Orange, we will plan our vacation for that timing.

Rainmaker
08-17-2015, 02:28 PM
I have decided that since Whiteman AFB uses this town, it's bridges, etc. for doing its training missions, I will ask them to do a defoliation run, dumping Groundkill made by Ortho onto my property.

I am sure that since there will be a bit of overshoot, that will take care of some of the problems that I have with the neighboring mimosa trees spreading their seed pods onto my property.

Besides, if they happen to 'accidentally' manage to kill off one of my neighbor's landscaping in his backyard, I will give the crew a case of whisky. If they miss that yard somehow, I will rue the day that the curtain of wild grapevines and poison ivy is finally defeated, but not his yard, because my wife will see and then want our land to be landscaped just like his.

Can't be having that!

Does anyone know if the original equipment used in the spraying of Agent Orange is still lying about somewhere? That could make it easier for the mission at hand.

If, by any chance there are still some canisters of Agent Orange, I would prefer it if they use that. If they do use Agent Orange, we will plan our vacation for that timing.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bPXVGQnJm0w

Absinthe Anecdote
08-17-2015, 02:54 PM
Just hire a couple of undocumented immigrants to do the yard work.

UncaRastus
08-17-2015, 03:37 PM
My dad's truck company hauled napalm bombs back in the 60s and the early 70s.

I went by his unguarded trucking company and I saw those beautiful bombs stacked on the truck beds, each one loaded into an open sided cradle/box, with the actuator warheads stuck to the forward walls of each container with some screws or nails. I can't quite bring that to mind, but the fastening was rather simple, as I recall.

The reason that I remember that is because, at the time, I did think that if some protesters were thinking about making a statement, that it wouldn't be that hard to take a warhead off the front wall of the box, put it onto the napalm bomb, loosen up the restraint built to keep the bomb from sliding forward or backward, and kick back and wait for the TV news to tell them that they were successful.

Not sure, though. Were the old napalm bombs preloaded, or were they 'gassed up' at the receiving point?

If they were preloaded though? I wonder why there was never a guard posted by either my dad, or by the government? I mean, at night, no one around, it would have been rather simple and easy to do.

Bos Mutus
08-17-2015, 03:53 PM
Just hire a couple of undocumented immigrants to do the yard work.

That's what I do.

UncaRastus
08-17-2015, 04:07 PM
Kind of hard to find them around here. Maybe in Sedalia, MO ...

Absinthe Anecdote
08-17-2015, 04:16 PM
Kind of hard to find them around here. Maybe in Sedalia, MO ...

You aren't looking hard enough. Rainmaker and Trump claim we have been invaded by them.

Try poking around that brush pile with a long stick, there might be a couple living in there.

Bos Mutus
08-17-2015, 04:28 PM
Kind of hard to find them around here. Maybe in Sedalia, MO ...

Just stop watering...works in CA

retiredAFcivvy
08-17-2015, 06:21 PM
I have decided that since Whiteman AFB uses this town, it's bridges, etc. for doing its training missions, I will ask them to do a defoliation run, dumping Groundkill made by Ortho onto my property.

I am sure that since there will be a bit of overshoot, that will take care of some of the problems that I have with the neighboring mimosa trees spreading their seed pods onto my property.

Besides, if they happen to 'accidentally' manage to kill off one of my neighbor's landscaping in his backyard, I will give the crew a case of whisky. If they miss that yard somehow, I will rue the day that the curtain of wild grapevines and poison ivy is finally defeated, but not his yard, because my wife will see and then want our land to be landscaped just like his.

Can't be having that!

Does anyone know if the original equipment used in the spraying of Agent Orange is still lying about somewhere? That could make it easier for the mission at hand.

If, by any chance there are still some canisters of Agent Orange, I would prefer it if they use that. If they do use Agent Orange, we will plan our vacation for that timing.

Don't think the MDNR folks will be very happy!

Rainmaker
08-17-2015, 06:39 PM
You aren't looking hard enough. Rainmaker and Trump claim we have been invaded by them.

Try poking around that brush pile with a long stick, there might be a couple living in there.



You can usually find them "hiding in the shadows" at your local social services office, prison or Hospital ER waiting area.

Absinthe Anecdote
08-18-2015, 01:52 PM
You can usually find them "hiding in the shadows" at your local social services office, prison or Hospital ER waiting area.

I knew you'd have Intel on this.

UncaRastus
08-18-2015, 02:09 PM
This little city doesn't have a social services office, a prison, or a hospital. It's about 40 miles from here to the nearest social services office or a hospital. The prison thing? There are some people that claim there is a FEMA camp nearby, but that remains unproven.

I used the FEMA camp instead of prison, because the same people that claim that it exists are the same people that claim that it will be used as a 'concentration camp'. The nearest actual state prison is 84 miles away.

Putting people in the back of my pickup truck is problematic here. If there aren't affixed seats in the bed, with seat belts, it is illegal to drive from point A to point B, with people in the back of my pickup.

So it is back to begging AF people to do a clandestine drop of defoliant on my property.