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DWWSWWD
11-13-2013, 04:21 PM
There's a good chance that I just completed my last PT test.

BISSBOSS
11-13-2013, 04:51 PM
Had enough and decided to retire?

-BB-

20+Years
11-13-2013, 04:53 PM
4th failure?

Drackore
11-13-2013, 05:09 PM
Careful, they might move this to the "Last PT Test in your AF Career" forum. And btw: congrats.

Bunch
11-13-2013, 06:04 PM
Congrats... Good luck with your new goals!!

DWWSWWD
11-13-2013, 06:06 PM
Had enough and decided to retire?

-BB- I think so. Terminal late Summer would put me at 27. I've been in the AF longer than I've been out of it. Wife working, kid in high school, good location...... Doesn't make sense to take an assignment, particularly given the job I have now with no boss nearby and a super solid team. I was telling someone the other day that we've been through some rough patches in my time but I knew we'd see them through to better days. There are better days ahead but I don't think I'll see them in the amount of time I have left. The next three years will be more drawdowns (another big one coming in Jan), less money, no boondoggles, more vectors and voids. Why stay and become bitter about something that has been so great to me and my family?

AFcynic
11-13-2013, 06:12 PM
Good luck to you. The drawdowns are coming, and the changes to our current benefits system will be ushered in at the same time. If you can retire, there is no time like the present.

Bunch
11-13-2013, 06:14 PM
I think so. Terminal late Summer would put me at 27. I've been in the AF longer than I've been out of it. Wife working, kid in high school, good location...... Doesn't make sense to take an assignment, particularly given the job I have now with no boss nearby and a super solid team. I was telling someone the other day that we've been through some rough patches in my time but I knew we'd see them through to better days. There are better days ahead but I don't think I'll see them in the amount of time I have left. The next three years will be more drawdowns (another big one coming in Jan), less money, no boondoggles, more vectors and voids. Why stay and become bitter about something that has been so great to me and my family?

Thats some great perspective... Thanks for sharing!

imported_KnuckleDragger
11-13-2013, 06:27 PM
Do what makes you happy.

PT tests never made me happy, lol.

Venus
11-13-2013, 06:32 PM
I think so. Terminal late Summer would put me at 27. I've been in the AF longer than I've been out of it. Wife working, kid in high school, good location...... Doesn't make sense to take an assignment, particularly given the job I have now with no boss nearby and a super solid team. I was telling someone the other day that we've been through some rough patches in my time but I knew we'd see them through to better days. There are better days ahead but I don't think I'll see them in the amount of time I have left. The next three years will be more drawdowns (another big one coming in Jan), less money, no boondoggles, more vectors and voids. Why stay and become bitter about something that has been so great to me and my family?

I hanged it for the same reasons. I just stopped having fun and looking forward to come to work. My wife said I was coming home pissed off all the time towards the end. Still miss it though and have no regrets plus do it over again if given the opportunity.

LogDog
11-13-2013, 07:13 PM
I hanged it for the same reasons. I just stopped having fun and looking forward to come to work. My wife said I was coming home pissed off all the time towards the end. Still miss it though and have no regrets plus do it over again if given the opportunity.
That was basically the same reason I hung it up at 28 years. I PCS'd from a closure base and at my new base it took me about a year to turn the flight around and work to the point they could perform their mission with little help from me. I knew there wouldn't be any more assignments for me and at that point all I was doing was maintaining and I don't just maintaining. For me, maintaining meant coming to work and going through the motions and I just couldn't do that. I was coming off probably the 2 best years of my career in terms of accomplishments and I also knew with 2 years left I wasn't going to make Chief so I decided to retire and go out on a high note. I never regretted that decision.

DWWSWWD
11-13-2013, 07:46 PM
I meant to mention something else. I may have shared with you folks that this Summer I had two vertabrae fused in my neck after dealing with pain for a while. Anyway, when I got back on my feet, I was super weak. I found this training plan at www.airforce-pt.com. It's an 8 wk plan that, for instance, starts with 3 sets of 5 push-ups, rest and 2 sets of 5 push-ups. By the end, it's 3x40, rest, 2x40. Same with sit-ups and run. I'm sure there are better things out there but what I liked about this is that you just do what it says and it is nothing but p/u, s/u and run. Tue/Thurs are days to do your own thing and Sunday is rest. For much of it I did have to do unit PT as well so many days I had to do extra PT. Probably not ideal, since I was sore most of the time and actually got hurt 2 weeks out. I thought it was good so maybe it will work for you. BTW, p/u, s/u,waist were max and run was 11:55. Not happy with the run but I only had so much time after surgery and wanted a full test. If you've been down for a while or just lazy, check it out.

FLAPS, USAF (ret)
11-13-2013, 10:58 PM
Retirement is a wonderful thing. My next PT test WOULD have been next month, had I not retired. Now I have a good second job and make more than before I retired. My wife now has a job she loves and she won't be forced to quit because of the AF. I wear what I want each day, shave if I feel like it, and relish the realization that we can pick up and move at anytime of our choosing, to any location on the map. The AF was great to me, but there's no looking back, that's for damn sure!

DWWSWWD
11-14-2013, 02:08 PM
Retirement is a wonderful thing. My next PT test WOULD have been next month, had I not retired. Now I have a good second job and make more than before I retired. My wife now has a job she loves and she won't be forced to quit because of the AF. I wear what I want each day, shave if I feel like it, and relish the realization that we can pick up and move at anytime of our choosing, to any location on the map. The AF was great to me, but there's no looking back, that's for damn sure!

Thanks, Flaps. It's encouraging to hear. I don't know anyone that has retired, provided that they prepared for it, and doesn't say that it is a wonderful thing. I'll firm it up after the first of the year but I'm pretty sure about it.

20+Years
11-14-2013, 02:42 PM
I've been in the AF longer than I've been out of it.

Wow. That line right there stopped me in my tracks. Where has the time gone?

DWWSWWD
11-14-2013, 03:06 PM
Wow. That line right there stopped me in my tracks. Where has the time gone? I run my mouth a lot. Usually to about 1,000 TSgts a year with 10-12 years in. One of the things I say is, "I dare you to blink." If you take your eye off the ball for a second, you'll be at 20 years wondering what to do with your life. You have to go to school, now. Save money, now. Make a difference in your job, travel, take care of your spouse, take off work early and hit the t-ball game, now. I hate seeing good people wait for someday. Sometimes, someday doesn't come.

Absinthe Anecdote
11-14-2013, 03:38 PM
I run my mouth a lot. Usually to about 1,000 TSgts a year with 10-12 years in. One of the things I say is, "I dare you to blink." If you take your eye off the ball for a second, you'll be at 20 years wondering what to do with your life. You have to go to school, now. Save money, now. Make a difference in your job, travel, take care of your spouse, take off work early and hit the t-ball game, now. I hate seeing good people wait for someday. Sometimes, someday doesn't come.

So true! I can't believe how fast my military career passed by and then how quickly I transitioned into the drudgery of a civilian job. My kids were grown and I felt like I was working for nothing.

It took me way too long to start thinking about me, I took my eye off the ball, and presto! I was a military retiree turned contractor and very unhappy despite making good money.

Luckily, I have some savings, but you always wish you had more. I quit work and am using the GI Bill to get a completely different skill set, I'll be damned if I go back to any type of government or contracting job.

Fuck that working in an office shit and morning-meeting nonsense! I've had enough of being on a team or being a small cog in some Rube Goldberg contraption that calls itself a government agency.

I want something different, now!

I can't believe how fast time is passing and I really wish I had the perspective of how fast ten years clicks by back in my 20's or 30's. Most of my forties have slipped by, but I think I'll be able to enjoy my fifties.

Sorry this turned into a rant, but you are speaking the truth and it touched something inside me.

If one out of a hundred of those young TSgts listens to you, then you've done a great thing in my book.

raider8169
11-14-2013, 04:08 PM
I run my mouth a lot. Usually to about 1,000 TSgts a year with 10-12 years in. One of the things I say is, "I dare you to blink." If you take your eye off the ball for a second, you'll be at 20 years wondering what to do with your life. You have to go to school, now. Save money, now. Make a difference in your job, travel, take care of your spouse, take off work early and hit the t-ball game, now. I hate seeing good people wait for someday. Sometimes, someday doesn't come.

These are words I have heard numerous times but always thought I still have time. At some point I took my eyes off the ball and was so focused on work that I lost my wife and she is likely going to get the kids. The days of everything else are over and now its only a matter of time before I will never get the things that are so important to me. I love the military but it has cost me everything. Yet I still have 7 years to go. What did I get out of it? A few awards that mean nothing after my time is up. I would trade a good career for my kids anyday of the week but you will never get a choice, work will just demand more things and if you dont stop it, it will cost you.

DWWSWWD
11-14-2013, 06:42 PM
These are words I have heard numerous times but always thought I still have time. At some point I took my eyes off the ball and was so focused on work that I lost my wife and she is likely going to get the kids. The days of everything else are over and now its only a matter of time before I will never get the things that are so important to me. I love the military but it has cost me everything. Yet I still have 7 years to go. What did I get out of it? A few awards that mean nothing after my time is up. I would trade a good career for my kids anyday of the week but you will never get a choice, work will just demand more things and if you dont stop it, it will cost you. You got me. I've left this sit open on my desktop and have been thinking about it since. I decided that I wouldn't insult you with internet advice. These are things though, that resolve me to look more closely at my own teammates and try hard to help the folks that I can help in real life. I hope there is someone on your end that is similarly motivated. Do allow me one thought. 7 years is a long time. That blink thing applies to kids too.

raider8169
11-14-2013, 09:45 PM
You got me. I've left this sit open on my desktop and have been thinking about it since. I decided that I wouldn't insult you with internet advice. These are things though, that resolve me to look more closely at my own teammates and try hard to help the folks that I can help in real life. I hope there is someone on your end that is similarly motivated. Do allow me one thought. 7 years is a long time. That blink thing applies to kids too.

One thing that makes me love the military is that once word got out about what she did I have had support coming in from my last 3 bases, old bosses and friends and even people I barely know. the bad thing is that my business spread but I cant say I was trying to hide it. My leadership here is supportive. People are trying to help but its one of those things where no one really knows how to help. I dont mind internet advice, many times people say what they want because they are not accountable for saying it. Also many time it is not what I want to hear but what I need to hear.

USN - Retired
11-14-2013, 11:40 PM
These are words I have heard numerous times but always thought I still have time. At some point I took my eyes off the ball and was so focused on work that I lost my wife and she is likely going to get the kids. The days of everything else are over and now its only a matter of time before I will never get the things that are so important to me. I love the military but it has cost me everything. Yet I still have 7 years to go. What did I get out of it? A few awards that mean nothing after my time is up. I would trade a good career for my kids anyday of the week but you will never get a choice, work will just demand more things and if you dont stop it, it will cost you.

Is your soon-to-be ex-wife in a hurry to get the divorce finalized? If she is, then you can stonewall her on the divorce and demand a divorce decree on your terms. You can even threaten to leave the military before you reach 20 years of service. (but will she believe you?)

Do you have a family member (mother, father, sister, etc) who can move in with you and be the primary caretaker of your children? If you do, then you might be able to get custody of your children. It is a long shot as family courts usually give custody of the children to the mother unless the mother is a real mess. It might be worth a try though. Fathers do sometimes get custody. If you don't ask, then you definitely won't get custody. Be careful. If you do ask for custody of your children, then your soon-to-be ex-wife may retaliate by falsely accusing you of abuse and/or DV.

Now is not the time to wallow in self-pity. You are currently in a war with your soon-to-be ex-wife. If you don't plan your divorce well, then you will be financially castrated.



. At some point I took my eyes off the ball and was so focused on work that I lost my wife and she is likely going to get the kids.

And stop blaming yourself.

FLAPS, USAF (ret)
11-15-2013, 02:45 AM
These are words I have heard numerous times but always thought I still have time. At some point I took my eyes off the ball and was so focused on work that I lost my wife and she is likely going to get the kids. The days of everything else are over and now its only a matter of time before I will never get the things that are so important to me. I love the military but it has cost me everything. Yet I still have 7 years to go. What did I get out of it? A few awards that mean nothing after my time is up. I would trade a good career for my kids anyday of the week but you will never get a choice, work will just demand more things and if you dont stop it, it will cost you.

Speaking of awards, I work with AD people who converse about school slots, EPR and OPR strats, awards, on and on and on. I just get a chuckle because after all of the strats, awards and caring about out-performing (result of brainwashing) I am now just a GS living the simple life, with each passing day a clear reminder of how insignificant most of my AF career professional goals (outside of making rank) actually were. My advice to all AD people is, like others have mentioned, get the degrees, professional certifications and investments knocked out long before you end your career. I was fortunate enough to listen to the right people and take care of that stuff, because in the end that is all that matters (behind family) after you get out.

Absinthe Anecdote
11-15-2013, 12:19 PM
raider8169

Here is something I grappled with when I got divorced and my wife moved away with the kids.

Should I get out of the Air Force and move to be closer to my kids?

I didn't and I missed way too much of them growing up. Those years are gone and there is nothing I can do about that now.

It was a tough decision and looking back I feel like I made the wrong choice.

That is something you'll have to figure out on your own.

USN - Retired
11-15-2013, 02:01 PM
Sun Zu - the Art of War - Use deception and know you enemy.

Divorce is war. I know that sounds bad, but that is the reality of the situation.

Your wife and her divorce attorney are the enemy. I know that sounds bad, but that is the reality of the situation.

1. Know your enemy. In order for your wife to win the divorce war, she needs you to keep working and earning money. She has probably been a housewife for most of her adult life and she has children. She would have a very hard time supporting herself financially, and she probably doesn't even want to go to work, especially as a single mother. She needs you to financially support her with alimony and child support, and she is looking forward to getting a part of your retirement pay.

2. Use deception. Convince her that you are an emotionally broken man. Tell her that you plan to leave the military as soon as possible, and you will not be collecting any military retirement pay. Tell her that you don't really have any plans to work when you leave the military. One option: you could tell her that you want to be a stay-at-home dad. Another option: you could tell her that you plan to live overseas and live a simple life. In other words, convince her that you don't really plan to earn much more money. Basically, lead her to believe that you see no need to remain in the military or even earn money.

Here's how she will respond - she will use the children to try to manipulate you. "What about the children?", she will say. "Who will financially support the children?", she will ask. And then here is how you should respond - tell her that you think that she is a very capable person, and you are convinced that she will have no trouble finding a job and financially supporting herself and the children. You don't have to believe it; you just have to make her think that you believe it.

I won't be easy to do all that, but, if you can do all that, then you will be in the driver's seat.

raider8169
11-15-2013, 03:02 PM
Is your soon-to-be ex-wife in a hurry to get the divorce finalized? If she is, then you can stonewall her on the divorce and demand a divorce decree on your terms. You can even threaten to leave the military before you reach 20 years of service. (but will she believe you?)

Do you have a family member (mother, father, sister, etc) who can move in with you and be the primary caretaker of your children? If you do, then you might be able to get custody of your children. It is a long shot as family courts usually give custody of the children to the mother unless the mother is a real mess. It might be worth a try though. Fathers do sometimes get custody. If you don't ask, then you definitely won't get custody. Be careful. If you do ask for custody of your children, then your soon-to-be ex-wife may retaliate by falsely accusing you of abuse and/or DV.

Now is not the time to wallow in self-pity. You are currently in a war with your soon-to-be ex-wife. If you don't plan your divorce well, then you will be financially castrated.




And stop blaming yourself.

I am the one filing for divorce, she has been cheating on me for 6 years and I never had a clue. I am in no rush to get it finalized as the longer it takes the better off I am, plus that means more time with my kids. Ive only been at this base for 2 months while she has been here 8. I moved her here during my midtour from Korea. I will be fighting this to the bitter end. All my familty as well as her's are back in NY where she wants to move to. My extended family all works so I doubt they would move here to be a caretaker. I know it is a long shot but I will regrete it every day if I do not try and get custody. When I filed the papers I asked for joint custody with me having physical custody. I have plans in step to talk to people and get help besides my lawyer. Thanks for the advice.

raider8169
11-15-2013, 03:03 PM
raider8169

Here is something I grappled with when I got divorced and my wife moved away with the kids.

Should I get out of the Air Force and move to be closer to my kids?

I didn't and I missed way too much of them growing up. Those years are gone and there is nothing I can do about that now.

It was a tough decision and looking back I feel like I made the wrong choice.

That is something you'll have to figure out on your own.

I am fighting with the same thing. I can provide a better life for the kids while I stay in with medical and whatnot. I risk missing a lot of their lives that way though. I am not sure what I want to do.

raider8169
11-15-2013, 03:10 PM
Sun Zu - the Art of War - Use deception and know you enemy.

Divorce is war. I know that sounds bad, but that is the reality of the situation.

Your wife and her divorce attorney are the enemy. I know that sounds bad, but that is the reality of the situation.

1. Know your enemy. In order for your wife to win the divorce war, she needs you to keep working and earning money. She has probably been a housewife for most of her adult life and she has children. She would have a very hard time supporting herself financially, and she probably doesn't even want to go to work, especially as a single mother. She needs you to financially support her with alimony and child support, and she is looking forward to getting a part of your retirement pay.

2. Use deception. Convince her that you are an emotionally broken man. Tell her that you plan to leave the military as soon as possible, and you will not be collecting any military retirement pay. Tell her that you don't really have any plans to work when you leave the military. One option: you could tell her that you want to be a stay-at-home dad. Another option: you could tell her that you plan to live overseas and live a simple life. In other words, convince her that you don't really plan to earn much more money. Basically, lead her to believe that you see no need to remain in the military or even earn money.

Here's how she will respond - she will use the children to try to manipulate you. "What about the children?", she will say. "Who will financially support the children?", she will ask. And then here is how you should respond - tell her that you think that she is a very capable person, and you are convinced that she will have no trouble finding a job and financially supporting herself and the children. You don't have to believe it; you just have to make her think that you believe it.

I won't be easy to do all that, but, if you can do all that, then you will be in the driver's seat.

I know this will be war. I have told her I may get out in 2015 but she knows what the military means to me and she knows what the kids mean to me. She is already planning on getting welfare and food stamps. Ive worked too hard to let that become my kids life. We have talked about me leaving the military. She wants that as it would hurt me. If I do I would likely use my GI bill or something and finish school.

She is worthless in my eyes as far as a job goes, who knows what will happen if I start saying she will manage.

As I started the whole divorce process am I able to drop it at anytime and restart it? In Cali there is a 6 month waiting period, If I keep restarting that (I could care less about the cost as there will always be more money at somepoint) I bet that would screw her up more than anything and it would cause my kids to stay where they are, at least I hope.

BISSBOSS
11-15-2013, 07:06 PM
I think so. Terminal late Summer would put me at 27. I've been in the AF longer than I've been out of it. Wife working, kid in high school, good location...... Doesn't make sense to take an assignment, particularly given the job I have now with no boss nearby and a super solid team. I was telling someone the other day that we've been through some rough patches in my time but I knew we'd see them through to better days. There are better days ahead but I don't think I'll see them in the amount of time I have left. The next three years will be more drawdowns (another big one coming in Jan), less money, no boondoggles, more vectors and voids. Why stay and become bitter about something that has been so great to me and my family?

Understood...

I quit when it stopped being fun!

-BB-