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FLAPS, USAF (ret)
11-02-2013, 08:43 PM
Ok, I'm a retired officer who likes to check out the hot female Airmen at the gym. Does this make me a "creepy old man," or just an older dude who appreciates the finer things in life?

Absinthe Anecdote
11-02-2013, 09:24 PM
If you are caught gawking directly or even by using the mirrors, yes, it makes you a creepy old man.

I always try to use a "three-point reflection" when using the gym mirrors. Most girls are aware of direct and two-point reflection tactics.

Try using some type of stretching motion when initiating a gaze, their attention is diverted from your eyes long enough for you to complete a three second gaze.

Anything over three seconds is considered staring and over five seconds it becomes gawking.

FLAPS, USAF (ret)
11-02-2013, 09:59 PM
If you are caught gawking directly or even by using the mirrors, yes, it makes you a creepy old man.

I always try to use a "three-point reflection" when using the gym mirrors. Most girls are aware of direct and two-point reflection tactics.

Try using some type of stretching motion when initiating a gaze, their attention is diverted from your eyes long enough for you to complete a three second gaze.

Anything over three seconds is considered staring and over five seconds it becomes gawking.

How about mirrored sunglasses as I'm flexing my varicose veins in front of the mirror next to the hottie? That's got to be good for at least 5 minutes of direct eye-raping before the sight of me makes her nausea unbearable.

Absinthe Anecdote
11-02-2013, 10:29 PM
How about mirrored sunglasses as I'm flexing my varicose veins in front of the mirror next to the hottie? That's got to be good for at least 5 minutes of direct eye-raping before the sight of me makes her nausea unbearable.

If you are really that far gone, you might be better of feigning that you are recovering from a stroke and just give yourself a cute speech impediment and start chatting them up. You've got to be able to pull off "cute and harmless" or it won't work.

Watch that Seth McFarland movie, Ted, to get an idea of the persona that you want to project. It is an unusual cross between Peter Griffin and one of the Care Bears.

You won't have the visual image of an adorable teddy bear, but you can create the same effect with your attitude if you practice.

You'll have them spotting for you and helping you with you workout if you play your cards right.

Greg
11-03-2013, 12:01 AM
Wear some fleece sweats, with Chuck Taylors. Ask for a demonstration on the pec-deck. Don't forget a terrycloth headband.

Gonzo432
11-03-2013, 12:12 AM
Wear some fleece sweats, with Chuck Taylors. Ask for a demonstration on the pec-deck. Don't forget a terrycloth headband.

A circa-78 Dr. J jersey would go well with this look.

Greg
11-03-2013, 12:21 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DkfHzAMHFQY

Airborne
11-03-2013, 12:56 AM
If you are wearing those tight black pants and I can see your labia, then yes you will get stared at.

sandsjames
11-03-2013, 01:30 AM
Ok, I'm a retired officer who likes to check out the hot female Airmen at the gym. Does this make me a "creepy old man," or just an older dude who appreciates the finer things in life?

Can't wait 'til the day I can go from the "creepy old man" to the much beloved "dirty old man", you know the old guy who can slap young chicks on the ass and they thinks it's funny...I wonder when you go from one to the other.

FLAPS, USAF (ret)
11-03-2013, 01:34 AM
Can't wait 'til the day I can go from the "creepy old man" to the much beloved "dirty old man", you know the old guy who can slap young chicks on the ass and they thinks it's funny...I wonder when you go from one to the other.

I'll try that next week and let you know if 45 is that magic number. Wish me luck!

Rainmaker
11-03-2013, 01:49 AM
If they on the yes-no machine it's free game. also, If they in the Free Weight Room they're asking for it. Only Hoes work out with Free Weights.

Gonzo432
11-03-2013, 02:02 AM
I'll try that next week and let you know if 45 is that magic number. Wish me luck!

On base chances are they won't have Mace, or a taser, or be a black belt in a really violent martial art. If it doesn't go well, try again at 50.

BENDER56
11-04-2013, 05:31 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DkfHzAMHFQY

Ugh. The '80s are by far the ugliest decade ever. What were we thinking?

71Fish
11-04-2013, 05:40 PM
If you are caught gawking directly or even by using the mirrors, yes, it makes you a creepy old man.

I always try to use a "three-point reflection" when using the gym mirrors. Most girls are aware of direct and two-point reflection tactics.

Try using some type of stretching motion when initiating a gaze, their attention is diverted from your eyes long enough for you to complete a three second gaze.

Anything over three seconds is considered staring and over five seconds it becomes gawking.

Simply knowing that trick makes you a creepy old man. I've never heard of doing that (thanks for the tip).

Use your peripherals.

Vrake
11-04-2013, 08:13 PM
This thread is worthless without pictures of what you are talking about. :)

Rainmaker
11-04-2013, 08:24 PM
This thread is worthless without pictures of what you are talking about. :)

Emoticons are gay.

Vrake
11-04-2013, 08:34 PM
Emoticons are gay.

Yet useful to offset sarcasm. Thanks for taking the time to comment on a smiley face.

raider8169
11-04-2013, 08:39 PM
Not sure what you are trying to say but I think pictures would help.

20+Years
11-04-2013, 08:41 PM
I like to see the hot chick on the track and follow them from a discreet distance, now anyways.

I once was accussed of "drafting", it probably looked like a reverse aerial refueling.

Rainmaker
11-04-2013, 08:43 PM
Yet useful to offset sarcasm. Thanks for taking the time to comment on a smiley face.

Don't mention it.

Vrake
11-04-2013, 08:44 PM
Don't mention it.

:)

Vrake
11-04-2013, 08:45 PM
I like to see the hot chick on the track and follow them from a discreet distance, now anyways.

I once was accussed of "drafting", it probably looked like a reverse aerial refueling.

I always had to run the other way to stretch out when hot chicks were about. Had to see the front too.

Kicker47
11-06-2013, 05:10 PM
I'm a big fan of the "dark sunglasses on the track" method. Wear dark sunglasses and keep you head facing generally forward, while scoping out the "scenery" with only your eyes...you can get a good long stare in if you do it right. :cool3:

:yo