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BOSS302
08-22-2013, 02:14 PM
What say you?

I find the "bodybuilders" (seems like anyone in the AF who picks up a dumbbell considers himself to be a "bodybuilder") and their whey protein/chicken/boiled egg powered farts to be just awful. I understand it's a natural product of a diet intended to build muscle...but have the decency to step outside or into a restroom. It's worse when the offender laughs and jokes about it like it's not a big deal.

TREYSLEDGE
08-22-2013, 02:20 PM
I'm overseas and we have a local national who reeks to high heaven. I am in a modern industrialized country and he is the only one of the 10 or so local nationals who work here that smells, so I can't blame it on his culture. People have complained and he doesn't care. When I walk by his office I can smell him and when he walks within 5-6 feet it gets nauseous.

Class5Kayaker
08-22-2013, 02:28 PM
Working the Joint Security Control Center at Eskan Village in the late 90's with Saudis for 12 solid hours......the stench was UNBEARABLE!

BOSS302
08-22-2013, 02:30 PM
Working in the UK and being in the break room when one of the Brits opens a tin of kippers or a jar of marmite.

LovedtoFly
08-22-2013, 02:32 PM
The old Engineer in my office that has such bad pit stains in his dress shirts that they look like the pits could just fall out. You can see them from straight on, he doesnt have to have his arms up, so I know he can see them in a mirror. Also suprised his wife lets him out of the house...

fufu
08-22-2013, 02:34 PM
The old Engineer in my office that has such bad pit stains in his dress shirts that they look like the pits could just fall out. You can see them from straight on, he doesnt have to have his arms up, so I know he can see them in a mirror. Also suprised his wife lets him out of the house...

I'm surprised he has a wife.

AFcynic
08-22-2013, 03:00 PM
The person who chews with their mouth open while eating lunch at their desk. I also cannot stand the person who brings cornuts, carrots, or anything else crunchy. The loud crunching drives me insane. For the love of all that is good with the world, eat that mess in the break room, or when you're by yourself.

Last but not least - don't be the jacka$$ who heats up fish in the break room microwave.

CYBERFX1024
08-22-2013, 03:23 PM
I am a GS employee for the USGS. I work with a old Vietnam Vet and gosh on a good day his arm pits stink. When we are out in the field on a hot summer day it makes me sick.

Class5Kayaker
08-22-2013, 03:30 PM
The person who chews with their mouth open while eating lunch at their desk. I also cannot stand the person who brings cornuts, carrots, or anything else crunchy. The loud crunching drives me insane. For the love of all that is good with the world, eat that mess in the break room, or when you're by yourself.

Last but not least - don't be the jacka$$ who heats up fish in the break room microwave.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^THIS!!!!!^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^

20+Years
08-22-2013, 03:47 PM
Ugh. That Saudi comment brings back stomach turning memories. The days we had to escort the sewage pump truck just about equaled the smell in the Saudi customs office. Yuck.

I was also in Turkey. We had one national you could literally smell down the hallway. He would put on so much perfume to cover the odor you would get a headache trying to be in the same work area.

Stateside: Why the hell don't some people flush. I mean really, what is that about?

Class5Kayaker
08-22-2013, 04:30 PM
Ugh. That Saudi comment brings back stomach turning memories. The days we had to escort the sewage pump truck just about equaled the smell in the Saudi customs office. Yuck.

I was also in Turkey. We had one national you could literally smell down the hallway. He would put on so much perfume to cover the odor you would get a headache trying to be in the same work area.

Stateside: Why the hell don't some people flush. I mean really, what is that about?

Try being the cop at the search pit who gets the "pleasure" of being the guy who has to pop the top of the sewer truck open and visually inspect the inside of the tanker truck..... :puke

Rusty Jones
08-22-2013, 04:43 PM
One great thing about the Air Force - at least there'll never be a time in your career where the same "building" that everyone works in is also the same "building" that everyone lives in.

DWWSWWD
08-22-2013, 05:00 PM
Had a guy that didn't shower and smelled like BO and cat piss. Sup ordered him to go home and take a shower and change his uniform. He refused so the Sup called the Shirt to come down to the shop and smell the guy. Finally got kicked out on HYT, joined the Guard. One more - This is not my story first hand and I think I've shared it before..... Good friend of mine got a call from an Amn who was roommates with his Airman. Said the room smelled disgusting. Friend and the Shirt go to the room, do some looking around and find that the guy had cut a hole in his matress and packed it with hamburger. Called him the Hamburger Humper after that.

TJMAC77SP
08-22-2013, 05:08 PM
..............Last but not least - don't be the jacka$$ who heats up fish in the break room microwave.

I swear there should literally be a law against that........or you should be able to take a dump in the offenders car (or in his/her coffee just to channel Machine)

TJMAC77SP
08-22-2013, 05:10 PM
Ugh. That Saudi comment brings back stomach turning memories. The days we had to escort the sewage pump truck just about equaled the smell in the Saudi customs office. Yuck.

I was also in Turkey. We had one national you could literally smell down the hallway. He would put on so much perfume to cover the odor you would get a headache trying to be in the same work area.

Stateside: Why the hell don't some people flush. I mean really, what is that about?

Riding a bus anywhere in Turkey....smell of Samsun cigarrettes covered in lemon scent.............yummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

TJMAC77SP
08-22-2013, 05:11 PM
Try being the cop at the search pit who gets the "pleasure" of being the guy who has to pop the top of the sewer truck open and visually inspect the inside of the tanker truck..... :puke

That is where the LRI principle comes in.

TJMAC77SP
08-22-2013, 05:12 PM
One great thing about the Air Force - at least there'll never be a time in your career where the same "building" that everyone works in is also the same "building" that everyone lives in.

Good point. I was on a gator freighter once and about passed out when I went into the E-4 and below Marine spaces.

20+Years
08-22-2013, 05:21 PM
That is where the LRI principle comes in.

Damn, I'm about to have an RFD moment. LRI?

Mastercone
08-22-2013, 05:45 PM
Had a guy that didn't shower and smelled like BO and cat piss. Sup ordered him to go home and take a shower and change his uniform. He refused so the Sup called the Shirt to come down to the shop and smell the guy. Finally got kicked out on HYT, joined the Guard. One more - This is not my story first hand and I think I've shared it before..... Good friend of mine got a call from an Amn who was roommates with his Airman. Said the room smelled disgusting. Friend and the Shirt go to the room, do some looking around and find that the guy had cut a hole in his matress and packed it with hamburger. Called him the Hamburger Humper after that.


In the old days, they had GI parties for these types.

Class5Kayaker
08-22-2013, 06:18 PM
That is where the LRI principle comes in.

LRI??? Lowest Rank I........?

js7799
08-22-2013, 06:21 PM
Just PCSd from working with a guy who didn't start out smelly, but turned out that way as a product of his environment. He met an older British lady who was heavy into alcohol and not so much into hygiene. They spent most of their time in a run down Huntingdon pub and the rest in what I can imagine was her squalid council house. He went from only smelling of cigarette smoke, to smelling of extreme BO, dirty clothes and piss, topped off by cigarette smoke. No one in the shop wanted to work near him, and it made me sick every time he came into my office for something. It was bad enough he was dirty and smelly, but the guy was incompetent as well and asked questions an Airman should know the answer to even though he was one of the most experienced in the shop. I did what I could as NCOIC to correct this guy, and luckily now the system is finally starting to work. A referral 2 and loss of SEI with no other AFSC to fall back on should mean he's shown the door soon. Good riddance.

AF Chief
08-22-2013, 06:34 PM
We actually gave a SSgt a LOC for failing to take a shower/bath. He smelled of chit every day. This was in Korea.

And speaking of Korea, had a few local nationals that ate Kimche all the time. Their pores were filled with garlic. I remember in the dead of winter our transportation section had their windows open and it was freezing in there. They did this to vent the smell from one of the locals in the office.

Absinthe Anecdote
08-22-2013, 06:40 PM
I supervised a civilian for a while who was a stone cold alcoholic. All his clothes were 10 plus years old and he had gained probably 40 to 50 pounds since buying them.

Sometimes he would be smelly and hung over, it was sad. I tried talking him into getting some help but that turned in to a big train wreck with him going to my boss to complain about me harassing him.

Of course I was told to leave him alone; to which I suggested that they move one of us to another section, they moved him.

In my experience, if you have someone with hygiene and personal appearance issues there is usually a bigger problem causing it. It is rarely just laziness.

DWWSWWD
08-22-2013, 07:51 PM
In the old days, they had GI parties for these types. I completely forgot about this little gem. In tech school we had a filthy, filthy guy in our bay. Didn't brush his teeth or use the deodorant and must have had problems removing all the poo-poo. His room was garbage and caused us to fail an inspection. I think when I was young I told that story and ended it with our giving him a blanket party. That didn't actually happen. We did put a bunch of baby powder in a bag, slide it under his door and stomp it from the outside. Made him have to clean his room. All that to say that in 26 years, my first hand knowlege of a GI party/blanket party is the same as wall to wall counseling. Never happened.

imported_chipotleboy
08-22-2013, 07:59 PM
When I was an exec, my boss hired a deputy group commander who smelled like a combination of feces and naptha. I found out later it was a medication issue and there was nothing to be done about it. However, the guy was a real champ at looking out for his people. I did as much of my work with him as possible by email.

CYBERFX1024
08-22-2013, 08:28 PM
Good point. I was on a gator freighter once and about passed out when I went into the E-4 and below Marine spaces.

I loved this part of being on a Amphib. We did some training in Jordan in 05' and we got extended a few days due to dumbasses firing rockets at our ships and they had to leave port. Needless to say we were 150miles inland doing our joint training with the Jordanians and not having any shelter what so ever and we had to ration our water. We all had to rewear our uniforms maybe 4-5 times. So by the time we went back on ship our uniforms looked like we had put starch on them they were so stained by the salt coming out from us. But the looks on the sailors faces when we came back on ship was priceless, they tried to scurry as far from us as possible we stunk so bad.

technomage1
08-22-2013, 08:52 PM
I worked with an LN that had severe halitosis. It smelled like something died in his mouth and you could smell it from 6 feet away. It came and it went, and he had been to doctor after doctor but no one could help him. He was the nicest man but you had to open the window after he came in. We kept a spray can on hand for his visits. It was awful, but there was nothing he could do, so everyone just felt sorry for him and coped as best as we could.

retiredAFcivvy
08-22-2013, 09:52 PM
How about the guy who chewed tobacco and had either an old coffee can or styrofoam cup on his desk for a spittoon.

BENDER56
08-22-2013, 10:04 PM
Had an airman at Thule who put her used sanitary napkins under her mattress.

Vrake
08-22-2013, 10:14 PM
On das boat in a 150 man berthing the stinky guy identifies himself quickly. Take someone's spit bottle and dump it down the middle of their rack.

My all time favorite is expandable foam. Take a screwdriver and pry up on the rack just enough to get the nozzle into each compartment. It cuts down on any smell coming from that rack pretty well.

Chief_KO
08-22-2013, 10:15 PM
Small radar site in AZ, circa 1986. TSgt would open the butt can and take out partially smoked cigarettes (his or other folks) and smoke the remainder. Same place, different TSgt who took joy in his silent but deadlies. Walked into the radar, walked back to the ops console and let one go. The operator broke lock on the a/c and walked out of the van. TSgt got an LOR and a direct order to no longer flatulate at work.
Lots of gross Airmen in the dorm stories from inspections and NCOD back at Keesler. One night on NCOD we walked through the dayroom (they interconnected the bays in the old dorms) and walked in on a guy "polishing his baton". Right there in the dayroom...can't remember if there was a video or anything.

Greg
08-22-2013, 10:18 PM
In the old days, they had GI parties for these types.

Yep! Two buckets of ice cold sea water, a container of toilet bowl scouring powder, and a wire brush. Scumbag got the hint.

Chief_KO
08-23-2013, 02:18 AM
Combat Comm, circa 1989. You never knew what condition the latrine would be, a porta pottie, trench, hole in the ground, so the rule of thumb was to always carry a roll of TP in your BDU cargo pocket and always have a flashlight and ALWAYS LOOK BEFORE YOU SIT.
Ft Benning, GA night shift. SSgt (not me) had to drop a duece so off he went to the porta potties. Earlier in the day the 82d or 101st marched through the area and used the AF facilities. Well, they were now full, overfull actually with the steamy logs forming a pyramid of pooh that was at or over the rim. Well, SSgt M (no TP, no flashlight) dropped his trou and started to sit down...squish. Well, he got up, pulled up his pants and scooted across the site to the shower tent. Luckily it was still open and was Male time (it was a co-ed shower with a sign Male / Female). He showered up, threw away his underwear and cleaned up his BDUs as best he could.
Then he violated common rule of thumb number 2: He told his co-worker...well soon the word spread across multiple deployed sites.
1. Carry TP. 2. Carry Flashlight 3. Look before you sit. AND if you ever do something really embarrassing...don't tell a soul.

TJMAC77SP
08-23-2013, 03:46 AM
LRI??? Lowest Rank I........?

Lowest Ranking Individual. You were on the right track

TJMAC77SP
08-23-2013, 03:51 AM
Two orders I have had to give which I often use to show civilians how their life can never approach ours.

Had to order one guy to shit (in a field environment)

Had to order another to shower (when his other 9 hooch-mates at Eskan in 1990 threatened to mutiny....insisted I visit the hooch....two steps into the door convinced me)

CJSmith
08-23-2013, 05:30 AM
It might not be shop issues but I've been waiting to share this little nugget, now's the time. A couple years ago when I was at NCOA we were cleaning up the parking lot when lo and behold we stumbled upon this gem. We shared the same campus as ALS and somebody didn't know how to clean up their ride. We decided to leave a trash bag with a little note.

http://i.imgur.com/Wc5AbF1.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/RYYttv7.jpg

Class5Kayaker
08-23-2013, 01:24 PM
It might not be shop issues but I've been waiting to share this little nugget, now's the time. A couple years ago when I was at NCOA we were cleaning up the parking lot when lo and behold we stumbled upon this gem. We shared the same campus as ALS and somebody didn't know how to clean up their ride. We decided to leave a trash bag with a little note.


Those cars are the nightmare vehicles for SFS conducting vehicle searches! And you wouldn't believe the number of cars that are pretty close to, if not just as bad, as that! People are filthy. I could go on for hours about the deplorable living conditions I encountered back in my SFS days when it came to young airmen living in base housing with one or two young kids and a stay-at-home-lazy-as-shit wife. We'd usually come across these biohazard-homes after getting called out there on domestics. The only reward was seeing the expressions on the faces of brand-new CCs or CCFs when they arrived on-scene and walking in the house. Then when we'd explain we see it all the time their jaws would hit the floor.

20+Years
08-23-2013, 01:50 PM
It might not be shop issues but I've been waiting to share this little nugget, now's the time. A couple years ago when I was at NCOA we were cleaning up the parking lot when lo and behold we stumbled upon this gem. We shared the same campus as ALS and somebody didn't know how to clean up their ride. We decided to leave a trash bag with a little note.

http://i.imgur.com/Wc5AbF1.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/RYYttv7.jpg



Lol.... and thats the graduation certificate.

technomage1
08-23-2013, 04:06 PM
Lol.... and thats the graduation certificate.

You have to wonder what their house looks like....

20+Years
08-23-2013, 04:10 PM
Ok, for fun I was trying to see what details I could pick out in the picture. Is that a rubber glove behind the lotion and spray?

technomage1
08-23-2013, 04:15 PM
Those cars are the nightmare vehicles for SFS conducting vehicle searches! And you wouldn't believe the number of cars that are pretty close to, if not just as bad, as that! People are filthy. I could go on for hours about the deplorable living conditions I encountered back in my SFS days when it came to young airmen living in base housing with one or two young kids and a stay-at-home-lazy-as-shit wife. We'd usually come across these biohazard-homes after getting called out there on domestics. The only reward was seeing the expressions on the faces of brand-new CCs or CCFs when they arrived on-scene and walking in the house. Then when we'd explain we see it all the time their jaws would hit the floor.

I worked in housing for a time many moons ago. It was all civilans except for me. As such, I got called to witness a lot of stuff since the chain tends to take military more seriously than GS or LN employees (not right, but that's the way it is). Anyway, we had apartment style MFH at the time. What you got if you lived off base was much nicer as it was an overseas assignment (this becomes important later). I got called out to one, showed up, and was issued a mask and tall rubber boots.

Dog $hit was all over the place, 6" deep. I nearly threw up in my mask from the smell. There wasn't a free inch on the floor. And they had a toddler. Dirty diapers, trash, etc all over the place. We took a zillion pictures and called their chain over. Man, their CC and CCF was PISSED. In about 30 seconds we had their permission to kick them out of base housing. They were estatic when told they were going to have to move downtown out of the "awful MFH" - until it was explained to them that the government would not be paying them OHA and their paycheck was going to be garnished to pay for all the damage they did. I left before the final estimate to repair the damage was completed, but it had to have been at least $20K.

On the other end of the spectrum, had a member complain their ceiling was caving in in the bathroom. We show up at there is a 5" circle of thin loose plaster. Kind of gross to hit you in the head, but not caving in or life threatening in any way. A1C Prissy Pants had her entire chain over there and was complaining up and down about it. As it turns out, the apartment above had a leak and the mx contractor had fixed it, then was refused entry to her apartment to check to see if there was damage. So, 5 minutes later, plaster removed, 12 hours for the wood above it to dry, and they came out the next day and spent maybe 10 minutes plastering and painting. Et voila. "Crisis" member created by refusing the contractor entry fixed. I wouldn't have minded if she'd told the contractor to come back later since she had to go to work, that's understandable, but don't turn them away then complain about it.

CYBERFX1024
08-23-2013, 04:25 PM
Those cars are the nightmare vehicles for SFS conducting vehicle searches! And you wouldn't believe the number of cars that are pretty close to, if not just as bad, as that! People are filthy. I could go on for hours about the deplorable living conditions I encountered back in my SFS days when it came to young airmen living in base housing with one or two young kids and a stay-at-home-lazy-as-shit wife. We'd usually come across these biohazard-homes after getting called out there on domestics. The only reward was seeing the expressions on the faces of brand-new CCs or CCFs when they arrived on-scene and walking in the house. Then when we'd explain we see it all the time their jaws would hit the floor.

That's how I truly found out what my ex-wife was about. She was lazy as shit and did nothing all day, while I worked in the Marines and a second job, and I cleaned the house. Needless to say I kicked her out and divorced the woman. She is now in addicted to Heroin and in jail for robbing a 79yr old woman.

Pullinteeth
08-23-2013, 06:15 PM
Lol.... and thats the graduation certificate.

Any ever consider that he/she was booking it out of there and just didn't pack? Emptied their room into their car to hit the road in a hurry? If you ever saw my vehicle when I was PCSing, you would think I was a hoarder too.... In that context, the graduation certificate makes perfect sense...

20+Years
08-23-2013, 07:07 PM
Any ever consider that he/she was booking it out of there and just didn't pack? Emptied their room into their car to hit the road in a hurry? If you ever saw my vehicle when I was PCSing, you would think I was a hoarder too.... In that context, the graduation certificate makes perfect sense...

Ok, explain the bottle of lotion and rubber glove.

Pullinteeth
08-23-2013, 07:16 PM
Ok, explain the bottle of lotion and rubber glove.

When you stay in billeting, do you never use lotion? The rubber glove.....tougher...

Absinthe Anecdote
08-23-2013, 07:33 PM
Ok, for fun I was trying to see what details I could pick out in the picture. Is that a rubber glove behind the lotion and spray?

I thought it looked more like a white nylon stocking just above and to the right of the spray bottle. I can't tell what that is under and between the lotion and the spray bottle.

If it is a white nylon stocking, well, that captures my attention enough to not pass too harsh of a judgment on her.

Stockings are a wondrous invention; if I were emperor of the universe all females would be required to wear them.

It is a nasty car, hurried packing for a PCS or not, she isn’t very organized.

20+Years
08-23-2013, 07:49 PM
I thought it looked more like a white nylon stocking just above and to the right of the spray bottle. I can't tell what that is under and between the lotion and the spray bottle.

If it is a white nylon stocking, well, that captures my attention enough to not pass too harsh of a judgment on her.

Stockings are a wondrous invention; if I were emperor of the universe all females would be required to wear them.

It is a nasty car, hurried packing for a PCS or not, she isn’t very organized.


I think you are right, it defintely could be a stocking. And... that makes me feel better about the body spray/lotion.

Class5Kayaker
08-23-2013, 08:11 PM
I think you are right, it defintely could be a stocking. And... that makes me feel better about the body spray/lotion.

Looks light light-purple panties in the upper right corner of the pic too.

Absinthe Anecdote
08-23-2013, 08:17 PM
Uh-oh!

Is that a box of cookies to the left of the purple panties?

If it is that kind spoils my image of her as the sloppy but sexy vixen.

Class5Kayaker
08-23-2013, 08:48 PM
Uh-oh!

Is that a box of cookies to the left of the purple panties?

If it is that kind spoils my image of her as the sloppy but sexy vixen.

If her car is that sloppy, it's probably sloppy down at the Y too.

Rizzo77
08-23-2013, 09:33 PM
:yuck2:
If her car is that sloppy, it's probably sloppy down at the Y too.

I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.

BOSS302
08-23-2013, 11:12 PM
If her car is that sloppy, it's probably sloppy down at the Y too.

It probably would be like pulling apart a warm, gooey grilled cheese sandwich.

sharkhunter
08-23-2013, 11:35 PM
I'm overseas and we have a local national who reeks to high heaven. I am in a modern industrialized country and he is the only one of the 10 or so local nationals who work here that smells, so I can't blame it on his culture. People have complained and he doesn't care. When I walk by his office I can smell him and when he walks within 5-6 feet it gets nauseous.

I know what you're going through. When I was in Turkey, it was not unusual to have a Turkish national come into the work center and smell just awful. However, once I started dating a Turkish national and started going regularly to a Turkish market is when I started to understand why and I realize how much we Americans take for granted the small things that others consider luxuries
Imagine paying $20 for Right Guard, $10 for a new tooth brush. $15 for tooth paste, or $15 for hair shampoo; there are generic brands much cheaper but not as effective. Plus consider how little they make and yet they are trying to provide for their family...things like personal hygenie is secondary to providing food for their family (which also isn't cheap). So next time you encounter this, just hold your breath and think he's giving up one luxury to survive.

sharkhunter
08-23-2013, 11:59 PM
My ex in Germany told me that she and her supervisor had a meeting one day about two females in her work center. He asked her in the most sensitive way he can "Do you smell B.O around one the new girls? What should we do about the other who has very oily hair?" The first solution was to douche wipes in the female's restroom and the second was to have a briefing on "professional image." After a few days, the message wasn't received and she had to sit them down and talk to them about their issues.

Rizzo77
08-24-2013, 12:34 AM
Kalman "BOOGER" Lanai: That dude was illiterate in 3 languages. We'd go to the field for two weeks, and he smelt like all of the other Soldiers did coming back before we ever left the motorpool.

This cat once showed up at morning formation bragging that he'd found an "unused" cable in a dumpster. He had crap all over his uniform, but bragged about dumpster diving.

Who even does that? Dumpster diving on the way to work? He was smelly and grotesque.

TomTom093
08-24-2013, 01:25 AM
Seeing chest hair every Monday (my command still wears blues). Hell, some guys' hair even pokes above their sand tees the rest of the week.

Mr. Happy
08-24-2013, 01:40 AM
[QUOTE=CJSmith;648426]It might not be shop issues but I've been waiting to share this little nugget, now's the time. A couple years ago when I was at NCOA we were cleaning up the parking lot when lo and behold we stumbled upon this gem. We shared the same campus as ALS and somebody didn't know how to clean up their ride. We decided to leave a trash bag with a little note.

http://i.imgur.com/Wc5AbF1.jpg

Those ABUs are almost black. I wonder if they won John Levitow?

Mr. Happy
08-24-2013, 01:50 AM
Grossest thing I heard of at work was a chick who brought her breast pump into work and stored the "milk" around the shop for junior's consumption later.

Grossest thing I ever smelled was when I worked in an office right next to my Korean crew. At lunch time they would fire up some seafood next door in the microwave and it literally about gagged me. I bet animals would not have ate that stuff.

Grossest thing I ever saw was a few nasty houses while I was an undershirt. The whole nine yards of nastiness.

Chief_KO
08-24-2013, 03:12 AM
Another Combat Comm story. Bergstrom AFB, TX was the location for our ORI in 1989. After two weeks in the field we were tearing down the camp. I was on the "tent drop" detail. Our job was to go into each tent (GP mediums, not the new Temper Tents) and drop them so the "tent folding" team could do their job. These were old style, wooden beam, wooden post, liner, no a/c with jp fueled tent heaters. Summer in Texas, so no heat needed.
As we walked into one of the female tents we literally buckled and fell to our knees. The most putrid smell we had ever encountered. If you took each bad smell known to mankind and put them together to ferment, that would be it. We left the tent up and flipped up the sides so it could air out.
Later talking to one of the gals I knew she said there was one female who didn't clean her mommy parts the entire two weeks, not even a baby wipe or combat helmet bath. I don't remember which shop she worked...just glad she wasn't part of mine.

TSgt"M"
08-25-2013, 12:41 AM
Had a girl at a site that smelled like "old vegtable soup". I didn't make up the moniker, someone else did. But that is what she did smell like, She appeared clean and wasn't hard to look at but she was stinky.

fufu
08-25-2013, 01:51 AM
Another Combat Comm story. Bergstrom AFB, TX was the location for our ORI in 1989. After two weeks in the field we were tearing down the camp. I was on the "tent drop" detail. Our job was to go into each tent (GP mediums, not the new Temper Tents) and drop them so the "tent folding" team could do their job. These were old style, wooden beam, wooden post, liner, no a/c with jp fueled tent heaters. Summer in Texas, so no heat needed.
As we walked into one of the female tents we literally buckled and fell to our knees. The most putrid smell we had ever encountered. If you took each bad smell known to mankind and put them together to ferment, that would be it. We left the tent up and flipped up the sides so it could air out.
Later talking to one of the gals I knew she said there was one female who didn't clean her mommy parts the entire two weeks, not even a baby wipe or combat helmet bath. I don't remember which shop she worked...just glad she wasn't part of mine.

LMFAO!

tiredretiredE7
08-25-2013, 03:00 AM
Another Combat Comm story. Bergstrom AFB, TX was the location for our ORI in 1989. After two weeks in the field we were tearing down the camp. I was on the "tent drop" detail. Our job was to go into each tent (GP mediums, not the new Temper Tents) and drop them so the "tent folding" team could do their job. These were old style, wooden beam, wooden post, liner, no a/c with jp fueled tent heaters. Summer in Texas, so no heat needed.
As we walked into one of the female tents we literally buckled and fell to our knees. The most putrid smell we had ever encountered. If you took each bad smell known to mankind and put them together to ferment, that would be it. We left the tent up and flipped up the sides so it could air out.
Later talking to one of the gals I knew she said there was one female who didn't clean her mommy parts the entire two weeks, not even a baby wipe or combat helmet bath. I don't remember which shop she worked...just glad she wasn't part of mine.

One of the other forum members ( I don't remember who) had a SF female deploy from a PACAF unit to his unit in Afghanistan. This SF female had the female hygiene issues when she came to work for me after a PACAF unit. I know she was briefed about her problem in Afghanistan and she blamed "field conditions" for having her "hygiene issue". However, she still had the same issue at her next assignment where I got to deal with her. She was a total mess and is no longer in the AF. She is/was my prime example of how/why women should not be in combat. Women require a higher standard of hygiene then men do and combat units simply don't have the facilities for women. Try spending 45 days with a woman who can't take a shower or bath.

OtisRNeedleman
08-25-2013, 03:21 AM
Another Combat Comm story. Bergstrom AFB, TX was the location for our ORI in 1989. After two weeks in the field we were tearing down the camp. I was on the "tent drop" detail. Our job was to go into each tent (GP mediums, not the new Temper Tents) and drop them so the "tent folding" team could do their job. These were old style, wooden beam, wooden post, liner, no a/c with jp fueled tent heaters. Summer in Texas, so no heat needed.
As we walked into one of the female tents we literally buckled and fell to our knees. The most putrid smell we had ever encountered. If you took each bad smell known to mankind and put them together to ferment, that would be it. We left the tent up and flipped up the sides so it could air out.
Later talking to one of the gals I knew she said there was one female who didn't clean her mommy parts the entire two weeks, not even a baby wipe or combat helmet bath. I don't remember which shop she worked...just glad she wasn't part of mine.

That's NASTY! LOL

imported_AFKILO7
08-25-2013, 03:21 AM
Impacted anal glands can lead to bigger, more serious issues in dogs. This is why it is important for Handlers to ensure their dog is taken care of and sees the vet at the first sign of any issue in the dogs anus. During my last deployment we had a green handler, SrA, first ever deployment with us. We lived in tents and our dogs lived in Garret containers which take a tremendous amount of effort to keep clean. The young handler didn't do his daily health point checks and this became obvious when another handler noticed the dog dragging his ass and a mucus discharge coming out of his anus. We pulled the handler aside and explained what was going on and what he needed to do to take care of his dog...expressing a dogs' anal glands is not fun, ESPECIALLY when the dog has an infection. We gave the handler some latex gloves and explained how and what he needed to do to express the glands. He kept standing directly behind the dog and after correcting him twice, we let it ride. The handler easily popped the glands, right onto his uniform! The secretion that comes from that area is the most disgustingly putrid odor that does not come out of anything easy at all.

If you have a dog and take him to the groomers ask them about the procedure they will let you know what I'm talking about.

OtisRNeedleman
08-25-2013, 03:24 AM
It probably would be like pulling apart a warm, gooey grilled cheese sandwich.

In the words of Jeff Spicoli, "Gnarly!"

tiredretiredE7
08-25-2013, 03:35 AM
We gave the handler some latex gloves and explained how and what he needed to do to express the glands. He kept standing directly behind the dog and after correcting him twice, we let it ride. The handler easily popped the glands, right onto his uniform! The secretion that comes from that area is the most disgustingly putrid odor that does not come out of anything easy at all. If you have a dog and take him to the groomers ask them about the procedure they will let you know what I'm talking about.

You were too nice. This seems to be the "jeep" joke for new handlers.

imported_AFKILO7
08-25-2013, 02:14 PM
You were too nice. This seems to be the "jeep" joke for new handlers. I do have a K9 related question. Why do female K9 handlers always have a jar of peanut butter in their locker at work?

Because they are lonely?

FuelShopTech
08-25-2013, 04:36 PM
Had a chick in my shop who was proud of being a "redneck girl."

She was obese, she chewed tobacco, and she had no compunctions about blowing huge farts to prove how much she was "one of the guys." She was nasty. She was also completely useless.

One day, she backed a GOV into a concrete barrier and, after lying about it and getting caught, she was ordered to take a drug test. Unfortunately, it was after-hours and I was the only female NCO available to observe, soooo.......yeah. For the rest of the shift, I took it easy on account of being permanently scarred after having to see The Penguin's cooch.

:yell2:

imported_AFKILO7
08-26-2013, 01:58 AM
Had a chick in my shop who was proud of being a "redneck girl."

She was obese, she chewed tobacco, and she had no compunctions about blowing huge farts to prove how much she was "one of the guys." She was nasty. She was also completely useless.

One day, she backed a GOV into a concrete barrier and, after lying about it and getting caught, she was ordered to take a drug test. Unfortunately, it was after-hours and I was the only female NCO available to observe, soooo.......yeah. For the rest of the shift, I took it easy on account of being permanently scarred after having to see The Penguin's cooch.

:yell2:
I genuinely feel bad for you.

ttribe
08-26-2013, 05:14 PM
We started a day flying our -130 from Osan-Kunsan-Taegu-Kimhae-then Kadena. During the short hop from Kunsan to Taegu the loadmaster said that it reeked in the cargo compartment. We had a load of mil pax and some family members with a few pallets and baggage. It smelled like a sick kids diaper. We tried to keep the airflow going but it just kept swrilling around. Some Korean lady in back finally fessed up that it was coming from a small cooler she had in the pax bags. It was some kind of Kimchee. And not the normal stuff that most of us know of. When we got to Kadena we got the SP customs/agriculture guy and told him about it. we thought for sure that they would confiscate that crap. He told us that because it is considered a prepared food that it was legal to keep. I've had a dozen or more paratroopers blow lunch in the back and it wasn't even close to this smell. The loadmaster said he was going to go on oxygen but the pilot told him he couldn't be that rude to all of the other pax. We didn't get it quite so bad up front.

OtisRNeedleman
08-26-2013, 09:45 PM
We started a day flying our -130 from Osan-Kunsan-Taegu-Kimhae-then Kadena. During the short hop from Kunsan to Taegu the loadmaster said that it reeked in the cargo compartment. We had a load of mil pax and some family members with a few pallets and baggage. It smelled like a sick kids diaper. We tried to keep the airflow going but it just kept swrilling around. Some Korean lady in back finally fessed up that it was coming from a small cooler she had in the pax bags. It was some kind of Kimchee. And not the normal stuff that most of us know of. When we got to Kadena we got the SP customs/agriculture guy and told him about it. we thought for sure that they would confiscate that crap. He told us that because it is considered a prepared food that it was legal to keep. I've had a dozen or more paratroopers blow lunch in the back and it wasn't even close to this smell. The loadmaster said he was going to go on oxygen but the pilot told him he couldn't be that rude to all of the other pax. We didn't get it quite so bad up front. No surprise. And if you think certain kimchi is bad, get a whiff of what they call "Korean Ketchup". Even for someone like me, who lived downtown almost all of his 39 months in country and smelled all sorts of nasty shit, plus coming from a farming background, "Korean Ketchup" smells BAD.

Absinthe Anecdote
08-27-2013, 01:16 AM
OtisRNeedleman

Are you taking about Gochujang (hot pepper paste)? That stuff is fantastic!
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2359/2285396236_5761014294.jpg?v=0




You guys are being way too hard on the Koreans, they have some of the best food on the planet.

OtisRNeedleman
08-27-2013, 04:36 AM
OtisRNeedleman

Are you taking about Gochujang (hot pepper paste)? That stuff is fantastic!
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2359/2285396236_5761014294.jpg?v=0




You guys are being way too hard on the Koreans, they have some of the best food on the planet.


Nope, I'm talking about ten-jang. It's made from soybeans.

Some Korean food is mighty good, some is okay, some is awful....just like any other country's cuisine. Been eating Korean food nearly forty years now.

And by the same token some Korean food smells good, some okay, but certain Korean foods smell just awful. Been smelling Korean foods nearly forty years now, too, and there are a few things I still can't stand.

loggie94
08-27-2013, 05:13 AM
I would have to include certain, undescribable, smells from Korea on this list. Where I worked, we had about 15 Korean National working. They were wonderful about venting their food smells (disclaimer--I also love Korean food and considered it an honor to eat out with them) when they knew it would offend the more sensitive sinuses in the office. However, when they were unhappy with a policy change or decision, they're silent protest was to cook some of the most horrendous, nasty smelling, not-even-sure-it-was-food and vent and fan it down the hallway into the offices. I'd smell that stuff and go track down Mr.(supervisor) Kim... "We need to go have lunch, don't we Mr. Kim?" ...."Yes, Cap-i-tan, we should have lunch together tomorrow and talk"...."you know, Mr. Kim, that you can ask me to talk before they get this upset"..."Yes, Cap-i-tan, but we are not upset with you...your boss is being stupid again"...."I know, Mr. Kim., I look forward to working this out over lunch."

This is the same Mr. Kim that used the following analogy about the bad squadron/CC we had at the time: "It's ok, Cap-i-tan, commanders are like busses. Just wait a little bit and another one will come along."



Next grossest thing... had one of my port troops not follow the t-handle instructions to the letter and ended up dumping an entire KC-10 latrine system on her head.

BOSS302
08-27-2013, 10:01 AM
commanders are like busses. Just wait a little bit and another one will come along."

And civilians are like the 1986 Camaro on cinder blocks in a front yard that never moves.

BENDER56
08-27-2013, 01:57 PM
And civilians are like the 1986 Camaro on cinder blocks in a front yard that never moves.

Why should my front lawn move?

I kid. That's actually pretty good -- I'm gonna remember that one.

Eastwood
08-31-2013, 04:17 PM
Using a soda can for the chew spit receptacle is very disgusting.

loggie94
09-03-2013, 10:59 AM
I've also had the, um, pleasure of morale inspections in base housing situations gone bad.

1. Dog so imaciated it was eating used diapers for food, since, hey...they were laying around the kitchen floor anyway... the kids were in only slightly better shape.

2. book/cat hoarder... when movers arrived pack them out, they pulled the stack of books away from the wall and found an inch-thick layer of cat hair all over the wall. (cats used the wall-to-wall boxes of books as their perch). I got to explain to the family that no, the movers didn't have to come back into their house until it was cleaned and sanitized. And, when they had done that, we'll 'try' to convince the moving company to come back to pack their stuff out.

3. Have a couple more, but they get grosser from there and I'm feeling ill just thinking of them...

BOSS302
09-03-2013, 11:47 AM
I was in line this morning at the cafe on base for my overpriced coffee - had no time to make a pot due to my laziness this morning - and I was overcome by a scent from behind me. It smelled like swamp ass with a heavy coverage of Axe deodorant body spray. I turn around and there's this normal looking guy but he smelled awful. Today is "PT Day" for many squadrons in the morning and I figure he must have not showered or forgot to wash that area...or he's one of those that washes his ABU pants once per fiscal year.

It was bad. And then while ordering my coffee...that smell coupled with the smell of the coffee being grinded and the smell of the flavored syrups. Awful. I think the girl behind the counter smelled it too because, while taking his order, her face turned really red and she was flustered.

imported_Renazance
09-05-2013, 09:45 AM
I worked with a guy whose dog shed EVERYWHERE. He would show up to work with white dog fur all over his black shirt (BDU days) and would track fur all over the office. Nothing worse than sitting in a chair where he sat before and getting fur all over yourself too.

I've had my fair share of gross coworkers. One that comes to mind was LARPer, gamer geek. He always wreaked of hot hell with a hint of burnt, crusted a$$. My friend was his roommate and told me he would get home on a Friday, sit down at his computer and would not move all weekend. Come Sunday, he was still in his uniform and had cans of Mountain Dew and tuna piled up around his desk. I was unfortunate enough to deploy with this slob and share a tent with him. No amount of air freshener or febreeze could rid the tent of his god-awful stench. Worst 3 months of my life.