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View Full Version : Single parents are now allowed to enlist?



BRUWIN
08-01-2013, 12:04 PM
Are you kidding me? Single parent issues were one of my biggest headaches as a SNCO. It got to the point where I was secretly putting my single parents in work situations with other eligible single Airmen in hopes they would hit it off. I was kind of matchmaking but I never got very good at it. What I did find that worked best was to schedule my single parent problem child on a deployment. The ass pain to get them there was rewarded by them either finding a spouse while they were deployed or realizing that terminating their enlistment was a better option..

Desk Pilot
08-01-2013, 12:22 PM
What I did find that worked best was to schedule my single parent problem child on a deployment. The ass pain to get them there was rewarded by them either finding a spouse while they were deployed or realizing that terminating their enlistment was a better option..

BRILLIANT. Why didn't I think of that. LOL

technomage1
08-01-2013, 12:25 PM
I can't say I've ever gone that far, but single parents are a pain to manage, I agree.

Rusty Jones
08-01-2013, 12:29 PM
Never had to worry about that. I've only had one female under me during my whole 11 years, and she was a butch lesbian.

js7799
08-01-2013, 12:32 PM
I've only had one female under me during my whole 11 years, and she was a butch lesbian.

Entirely too many directions this could be taken.

I concur, single parents are a pain (lame attempt to stay on topic).

Absinthe Anecdote
08-01-2013, 12:46 PM
You just gave me an idea that I should hook up with an active duty single mom.

I could be a pretty good male depend-a-potamus except for the getting fat part. I don't want to get fat but I could make sure her kid gets to school on time then go play golf all day.

I wouldn't want to drive a minivan or walk around the commissary with a shopping cart full of hamburger helper either.

Do you think they make exceptions for that kind of thing? Maybe I can get a waiver from AFMPC that says I don't have to eat hamburger helper and get fat?

Hmmm, I really miss the golf course at Misawa this just might be my ticket back there.

71Fish
08-01-2013, 12:52 PM
Are you kidding me? Single parent issues were one of my biggest headaches as a SNCO. It got to the point where I was secretly putting my single parents in work situations with other eligible single Airmen in hopes they would hit it off. I was kind of matchmaking but I never got very good at it. What I did find that worked best was to schedule my single parent problem child on a deployment. The ass pain to get them there was rewarded by them either finding a spouse while they were deployed or realizing that terminating their enlistment was a better option..

That's pretty good.

I find it odd that in the middle of cuts across the services, the AF is opening up to a new group of people, and a new group of problems.

Rusty Jones
08-01-2013, 01:05 PM
You just gave me an idea that I should hook up with an active duty single mom.

I could be a pretty good male depend-a-potamus except for the getting fat part. I don't want to get fat but I could make sure her kid gets to school on time then go play golf all day.

I wouldn't want to drive a minivan or walk around the commissary with a shopping cart full of hamburger helper either.

Do you think they make exceptions for that kind of thing? Maybe I can get a waiver from AFMPC that says I don't have to eat hamburger helper and get fat?

Hmmm, I really miss the golf course at Misawa this just might be my ticket back there.

But then you'd have to deal with the fact that your wife would, more likely than not, be getting stuffed by every dude in her shop. Which would be fine, if you only see her as a meal ticket; and you're banging other chicks on the side yourself.

Either way, having a wife like that isn't good for your reputation.

RobotChicken
08-01-2013, 01:17 PM
But then you'd have to deal with the fact that your wife would, more likely than not, be getting stuffed by every dude in her shop. Which would be fine, if you only see her as a meal ticket; and you're banging other chicks on the side yourself.

Either way, having a wife like that isn't good for your reputation.

"Anything for the both of you would be an 'improvement'!":fest30::slap::Flush:

imported_DannyJ
08-01-2013, 01:24 PM
Funny...While we're trying to get rid of folks they expand ability to come in...

Absinthe Anecdote
08-01-2013, 01:26 PM
But then you'd have to deal with the fact that your wife would, more likely than not, be getting stuffed by every dude in her shop. Which would be fine, if you only see her as a meal ticket; and you're banging other chicks on the side yourself.

Either way, having a wife like that isn't good for your reputation.

Why did you have to through cold water on my scheme?

However, does a depend-a-potamus care about having a good reputation? I think not!

The only thing that really creeps me out about the arrangement is the hamburger helper and mini van stuff.

Bumble78
08-01-2013, 01:41 PM
You just gave me an idea that I should hook up with an active duty single mom.

I could be a pretty good male depend-a-potamus except for the getting fat part. I don't want to get fat but I could make sure her kid gets to school on time then go play golf all day.

I wouldn't want to drive a minivan or walk around the commissary with a shopping cart full of hamburger helper either.

Do you think they make exceptions for that kind of thing? Maybe I can get a waiver from AFMPC that says I don't have to eat hamburger helper and get fat?

Hmmm, I really miss the golf course at Misawa this just might be my ticket back there.

I am pretty sure you would not qualifiy as a dependopotomi if you do not follow the guide lines.

Shaken1976
08-01-2013, 02:18 PM
I am once again a single parent. I really don't miss much work that I wouldn't miss if I was married. I have an excellent support system. My child is old enough that if she is not deathly ill but running a fever I can let her stay home on base for a few hours at a time. Check in on her at lunch and again before PT and she is good to go.


I was single for two years when she was born. I did miss a lot of work then. However, it wasn't necessarily due to being a single parent. It was due to major health issues on her part. She was born with some heart defects and breathing problems. A few surgeries later she was good to go. After that I missed far less. My supervisor tried to make me take leave for a surgery she was having.


As an infant when she was sick I had back up care. I deployed when I was supposed to. I worked late quite often. As a single parent it is all about the support system in place.

Shaken1976
08-01-2013, 02:22 PM
I am pretty sure you would not qualifiy as a dependopotomi if you do not follow the guide lines.

If I had a dependopotimis they would not be required to make Hamburger Helper. We don't eat that crap. I prefer to not cooked boxed meals. The crock pot is my best friend...so he should be familiar with that. I hit the gym daily and would welcome a workout partner. I could write an ad up....

Single military mom looking for my no so dependopotomus. Must be willing to get out of the house and do stuff. Must be willing to take a little girl to the gun show and fishing yet also willing to attend dance recitals and competitions.

Must be willing to hit the gym and be a decent cook. Must have some source of income....(am I asking too much here)

RetC141BFCC
08-01-2013, 02:32 PM
If I had a dependopotimis they would not be required to make Hamburger Helper. We don't eat that crap. I prefer to not cooked boxed meals. The crock pot is my best friend...so he should be familiar with that. I hit the gym daily and would welcome a workout partner. I could write an ad up....

Single military mom looking for my no so dependopotomus. Must be willing to get out of the house and do stuff. Must be willing to take a little girl to the gun show and fishing yet also willing to attend dance recitals and competitions.

Must be willing to hit the gym and be a decent cook. Must have some source of income....(am I asking too much here)

if I was single I would take the job but can I still sit at home and play the xbox and chat on AFT? As far as food go I make a mean reservation at the Italian restaurant

Shaken1976
08-01-2013, 02:41 PM
if I was single I would take the job but can I still sit at home and play the xbox and chat on AFT? As far as food go I make a mean reservation at the Italian restaurant

Do you have a source of income? I am guessing retirement? Because I do okay at supporting myself and the kiddo....but dance is expensive...there isn't much left to feed a grown man. Not when my kid eats me out of house and home as it is.

Can you grill? Because I love a good steak..or jalapeno poppers...yum

Bunch
08-01-2013, 02:46 PM
I really don't know where this is coming from, is not like the Air Force is having a difficult time recruiting for the enlisted side.

Class5Kayaker
08-01-2013, 03:42 PM
That's pretty good.

I find it odd that in the middle of cuts across the services, the AF is opening up to a new group of people, and a new group of problems.


Funny...While we're trying to get rid of folks they expand ability to come in...



I really don't know where this is coming from, is not like the Air Force is having a difficult time recruiting for the enlisted side.

These changes all stem from a case when an aspiring nurse in ROTC got kcked out after she got pregnant. AF realized they didn't need any more challenges in federal court so it changed it's policy.


Air Force spokeswoman Laurel Tingley said the case of Rebecca Edmonds, an aspiring nurse who was kicked out of the Air Force in 2011 when she became pregnant before being commissioned as an officer, prompted the service to re-examine its rules.

Edmonds discovered she was pregnant in March 2011, a few weeks before her graduation, her attorney, Daniel Conway, said. She was commissioned that July and reported to her nursing transition orientation program, where she reported her pregnancy. Soon afterward, Air Force ROTC began investigating her, concluded she was fraudulently commissioned, and summarily discharged her as an airman basic. The Air Force also billed her about $90,000 for her scholarship.

Conway said that Edmonds appealed her dismissal, but because single parents were disqualified from service, her appeal was denied.

Conway expects the Air Force Board for Correction of Military Records will hand down a final decision in Edmonds’ case within the next week or two. If the board rules for Edmonds and if she is able, Conway said she hopes to re-join the Air Force as an officer.

“She’s a very patriotic young woman who loves her country,” Conway said. “She comes from a military family, and had dreams of serving. Hopefully, we’ll get a decision that puts her in that position.”

Bunch
08-01-2013, 03:51 PM
These changes all stem from a case when an aspiring nurse in ROTC got kcked out after she got pregnant. AF realized they didn't need any more challenges in federal court so it changed it's policy.

I guess they know more than I. It will be interesting to see how this develops in the next few years.

RetC141BFCC
08-01-2013, 03:59 PM
Do you have a source of income? I am guessing retirement? Because I do okay at supporting myself and the kiddo....but dance is expensive...there isn't much left to feed a grown man. Not when my kid eats me out of house and home as it is.

Can you grill? Because I love a good steak..or jalapeno poppers...yum

I love to cook on the gril. Source of Income yes. I am just tired of working. Even after retirement I am still working weekends and Holidays. I want to sit on the couch and drink beer and complain that you never take me anywhere or bring me flowers anymore. You can buy me one of those Tshirts you know the one. Air Force Husband toughest job in the Air Force

Class5Kayaker
08-01-2013, 04:01 PM
I guess they know more than I. It will be interesting to see how this develops in the next few years.

I can see both sides of the argument. We don't need to open the door to more folks at a time we're cutting perfectly good Airmen, but it was also pretty discriminatory and I'm surprised it stoood this long. If someone can demonstrate tehy have a good support plan and they're fine financially (not in huge amounts of debt already), then why not let them serve?

BENDER56
08-01-2013, 06:04 PM
These changes all stem from a case when an aspiring nurse in ROTC got kcked out after she got pregnant. AF realized they didn't need any more challenges in federal court so it changed it's policy.

It might also have something to do with the fact that so few people of entry-level enlistment age are able to meet the minimum requirements to join nowadays. A few years back, one army general said only about 25% of American 17- to 27-year-olds could meet the standards.

BENDER56
08-01-2013, 06:06 PM
... and be a decent cook. ...

I was skimming through your comment and read something entirely different there.

BENDER56
08-01-2013, 06:09 PM
You just gave me an idea that I should hook up with an active duty single mom. ...

Half the losers in Goldsboro, NC beat you to it, dude.

Shaken1976
08-01-2013, 06:09 PM
I was skimming through your comment and read something entirely different there.

Haha...Get your mind out of the gutter.

imported_AFKILO7
08-01-2013, 10:54 PM
I am once again a single parent. I really don't miss much work that I wouldn't miss if I was married. I have an excellent support system. My child is old enough that if she is not deathly ill but running a fever I can let her stay home on base for a few hours at a time. Check in on her at lunch and again before PT and she is good to go.


I was single for two years when she was born. I did miss a lot of work then. However, it wasn't necessarily due to being a single parent. It was due to major health issues on her part. She was born with some heart defects and breathing problems. A few surgeries later she was good to go. After that I missed far less. My supervisor tried to make me take leave for a surgery she was having.


As an infant when she was sick I had back up care. I deployed when I was supposed to. I worked late quite often. As a single parent it is all about the support system in place.
My father was active duty AF when I was born, I had open heart surgery, double hernia and clef palate surgery all before I was 18 months old.

My wife could now come in with a commission if she wanted.

tiredretiredE7
08-02-2013, 08:59 AM
I am once again a single parent. I really don't miss much work that I wouldn't miss if I was married. I have an excellent support system. My child is old enough that if she is not deathly ill but running a fever I can let her stay home on base for a few hours at a time. Check in on her at lunch and again before PT and she is good to go.


I was single for two years when she was born. I did miss a lot of work then. However, it wasn't necessarily due to being a single parent. It was due to major health issues on her part. She was born with some heart defects and breathing problems. A few surgeries later she was good to go. After that I missed far less. My supervisor tried to make me take leave for a surgery she was having.


As an infant when she was sick I had back up care. I deployed when I was supposed to. I worked late quite often. As a single parent it is all about the support system in place.

The missed work still had to be completed by someone. I had quite a few troops try to take off from work for minor childcare appointments and I stopped them all. The reason was they had an AD spouse who was off and could take the child to the appointment. I know this is a single parent thread but this is the level of abuse people try to use their children to get out of doing work. My last troop was awesome. He would go out of his way to make up for any missed work if he had an appointment for his child. This guy literally worked as late as 10 pm after an appointment to make up from missed time. He did get a heads from my other subordinates that I did not play the appointment for my child game. If a single parent misses work for any appointment for them or their troop, they should make up for the missed work. Mid-shift worker across the AF already do this so why shouldn't single parents?

Shaken1976
08-02-2013, 11:24 AM
The missed work still had to be completed by someone. I had quite a few troops try to take off from work for minor childcare appointments and I stopped them all. The reason was they had an AD spouse who was off and could take the child to the appointment. I know this is a single parent thread but this is the level of abuse people try to use their children to get out of doing work. My last troop was awesome. He would go out of his way to make up for any missed work if he had an appointment for his child. This guy literally worked as late as 10 pm after an appointment to make up from missed time. He did get a heads from my other subordinates that I did not play the appointment for my child game. If a single parent misses work for any appointment for them or their troop, they should make up for the missed work. Mid-shift worker across the AF already do this so why shouldn't single parents?

When I had my kid I was the floor chief of inspections. I was at work at 6 AM and there until after the last airman left. No one had to make up my work for me because as one of the only 7 levels no one really could. Like I said...I had back up for minor appointments. But when it came to surgeries or talking about surgeries you can bet I was there...just like I would have been had I been married. Not all single parents scam the system. If I for some reason didn't get something done...I came in in the weekend. But we distributed our workload on Monday and you were expected to get it done.

ttribe
08-02-2013, 08:18 PM
Just to kick the discussion along, what constitutes an "Approved care plan"? Who approves? Do they typically work out. I've heard of people that had plans that were for the most part fiction, and deployments were cancelled due to that.

Class5Kayaker
08-02-2013, 09:07 PM
Just to kick the discussion along, what constitutes an "Approved care plan"? Who approves? Do they typically work out. I've heard of people that had plans that were for the most part fiction, and deployments were cancelled due to that.

It's done on an AF Form 357 (http://static.e-publishing.af.mil/production/1/af_a1/form/af357/af357_locked.xfdl). Approved by CC or 1st Sgt.

And most of them work out, but there are always the (true) stories about people who got tasked and their plan was complete crap (people who signed as caregivers willing to take kids backed out, etc.). It's not as common as people make it out to be (at least in my experience).

garhkal
08-02-2013, 10:06 PM
I can't say I've ever gone that far, but single parents are a pain to manage, I agree.

Plus (from experience) they do seem to get away with more frak ups than those who are just single, or NON single parents do..


Funny...While we're trying to get rid of folks they expand ability to come in...

which is why i personally can't understand this..


I am once again a single parent. I really don't miss much work that I wouldn't miss if I was married. I have an excellent support system. My child is old enough that if she is not deathly ill but running a fever I can let her stay home on base for a few hours at a time. Check in on her at lunch and again before PT and she is good to go.


I was single for two years when she was born. I did miss a lot of work then. However, it wasn't necessarily due to being a single parent. It was due to major health issues on her part. She was born with some heart defects and breathing problems. A few surgeries later she was good to go. After that I missed far less. My supervisor tried to make me take leave for a surgery she was having.


As an infant when she was sick I had back up care. I deployed when I was supposed to. I worked late quite often. As a single parent it is all about the support system in place.

Which is why i mentioned what i did above. I commend you for actually followig the rules but a # of SP's i have encountered DIDN'T.
As for the leave, imo he was right in requiring you to take leave for a surgery your kid was having.


Just to kick the discussion along, what constitutes an "Approved care plan"? Who approves? Do they typically work out. I've heard of people that had plans that were for the most part fiction, and deployments were cancelled due to that.


Or they had someone listed, but when it came time for that person to step up and do the care,, balked. Or as in one case i saw, listed a family member as their 'care giver long term' when they were supposed to deploy, but that person was ALSO in the mil (navy sing parent, Army sister being tapped) and was already deployed herself.. AND suppsedly was never even asked by 'sister dearest'..

Shaken1976
08-02-2013, 10:12 PM
Plus (from experience) they do seem to get away with more frak ups than those who are just single, or NON single parents do..



which is why i personally can't understand this..



Which is why i mentioned what i did above. I commend you for actually followig the rules but a # of SP's i have encountered DIDN'T.
As for the leave, imo he was right in requiring you to take leave for a surgery your kid was having.




Or they had someone listed, but when it came time for that person to step up and do the care,, balked. Or as in one case i saw, listed a family member as their 'care giver long term' when they were supposed to deploy, but that person was ALSO in the mil (navy sing parent, Army sister being tapped) and was already deployed herself.. AND suppsedly was never even asked by 'sister dearest'..


Yeah...taking leave for her surgery wold have been fine has he followed the same rules. He took off for his kid to have tubes put in her ears. His reasoning....his also active duty wife had anxiety. And RHIP as to not having to take leave for it. Luckily since it was short notice I had to get something signed by leadership and they did not end up making me take leave.

imnohero
08-02-2013, 10:41 PM
I could look it up, and I will if know one knows off the top of their head... Does emergency leave apply for children in some circumstances? I don't know, a car accident or something. To be specific, I am NOT referring to planned medical care or appointments.

Bunch
08-02-2013, 10:50 PM
I could look it up, and I will if know one knows off the top of their head... Does emergency leave apply for children in some circumstances? I don't know, a car accident or something. To be specific, I am NOT referring to planned medical care or appointments.

My daughter has surgery every 6 months and we have to travel for it. Since travel out of the local area is required it falls under a PTDY but I think you can only request 9 days after that is regular leave. I don't know how it work when their is no travel involved.

WeaponsTSGT
08-03-2013, 03:24 AM
Unless it's your only opportunity for employment, I have to wonder about the priorities of a single parent wanting to enlist. In my eyes there aren't many things more selfish than doing this.

Rainmaker
08-03-2013, 03:40 PM
Are you kidding me? Single parent issues were one of my biggest headaches as a SNCO. It got to the point where I was secretly putting my single parents in work situations with other eligible single Airmen in hopes they would hit it off. I was kind of matchmaking but I never got very good at it. What I did find that worked best was to schedule my single parent problem child on a deployment. The ass pain to get them there was rewarded by them either finding a spouse while they were deployed or realizing that terminating their enlistment was a better option..

This why Rainmaker loved working wiff y'all

garhkal
08-03-2013, 06:26 PM
Yeah...taking leave for her surgery wold have been fine has he followed the same rules. He took off for his kid to have tubes put in her ears. His reasoning....his also active duty wife had anxiety. And RHIP as to not having to take leave for it. Luckily since it was short notice I had to get something signed by leadership and they did not end up making me take leave.


I have known butt heads like that too. Just like the officer who took a 3 day weekend (when there was none) to visit his kin 300 miles away, but his troops who wanted to go 140 miles away on a scheduled 4 day weekend had to put in a 'special request' to go father than the 50 mile radius rule allowed.
But i see more of that sort of stuff being pulled by parents period, whether married, or single. And the non parent single folk who tried it usually got slammed down on for it.

jondstewart
08-04-2013, 02:39 AM
Are single parents discriminated against, even in reenlisting?! I was one from 1995 to 2004 (my 6th to 15th year in) and managed just fine! I stayed in San Antonio the whole time since I was close to home and always kept on top of the dependent care as much as I could

My only fault was I was a bad judge of character when I was younger and married an ignorant young country girl that got out of control and messed with another guy