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Chief_KO
07-13-2013, 01:19 AM
Keesler, circa 2000. After lunch break the students returned. One of mine (NPS-type) had a red burn mark on his chin. I asked what happened (thinking he burnt himself with hot food). "Ironing" was his answer. I asked how does one burn their chin while ironing...to which he stood up and demonstrated. Seems he was ironing out a couple of wrinkles on his blue shirt....while wearing it...and looked down to see how it was looking.

We presented him with the "IronMan" certificate at graduation...lots of laughs over that one!!

What dumb stuff have you witnessed from Airmen (of any/all ranks)?

coloringoutsidethelines
07-13-2013, 01:20 AM
I burned my chin while in basic while ironing. Nodding off while ironing not a good idea

Measure Man
07-13-2013, 02:57 AM
We had a "cutter" Airmen...came in with a bunch of cuts up and down his forearms. Stupid teen angst shit.

He was forwarded to mental health and was discharged shortly afterward, not just for that, but some more "poor emo me, give me attention" conduct as well.

Measure Man
07-13-2013, 03:25 AM
Ahhh everyone here the STORY of the GUY in basic who was told to shave his facial hair
and returned with no eyebrows?

Heard that one! I think it usually comes just before the ether bunny

Tooltime
07-13-2013, 05:38 AM
I didn't have to deal with this first-hand, but I stopped in to talk to a former Boss (MSgt) who was dealing with unique dorm issues. One of his Airmen and the Suite Mate from another workcenter didn't get along. Their current problem was their shared bathroom. Apparently, a turd ended up on the floor in front of the toilet - and neither person would claim responsibility for it or clean it up. Supervision became involved...

I didn't stay to see how this panned out, but I'll never forget the look on my former Boss's face when he said: "You are not going to believe what I am dealing with right now." I always imagined the Shirt going over and cutting the turd in half, making each Airman clean up an equal share - but I really don't know how this was resolved.

RobotChicken
07-13-2013, 11:51 AM
And...the dude who graduated and flipped off ti on bus as he left, only to be recycled...

"Saw that first 'hand too'! We were warned that we were NOT outta 'Boot' till we were on our plane; not at the airport, on THE PLANE! More then a few were rolled back allover again...LOL"

KellyinAvon
07-13-2013, 12:16 PM
"Saw that first 'hand too'! We were warned that we were NOT outta 'Boot' till we were on our plane; not at the airport, on THE PLANE! More then a few were rolled back allover again...LOL"

Wasn't that the same guy dogging on the desert queens on the freedom bird?

Rainmaker
07-13-2013, 02:54 PM
Rainmaker was once called in by CE tent police to inspect a female SrA's tent space. We had framed out temper tents and said female had been urinating on the floor at night and throwing a towel over it(rather than being bothered with getting up and walking to the pissers). After some counseling she presented her "Bladder infection" Defense to the tent police authorities and successfully completed the remainder of her deployment. Not sure what happened to this kid. But, Rainmaker sure she prolly went on to become a successful SNCO since she had a pretty nice ass.

BENDER56
07-13-2013, 03:55 PM
This perv graduated from the tech school where I was last assigned.

http://www.stripes.com/news/airman-drops-in-on-couple-in-hotel-1.83377

Rainmaker
07-13-2013, 04:02 PM
This perv graduated from the tech school where I was last assigned.

http://www.stripes.com/news/airman-drops-in-on-couple-in-hotel-1.83377

"A drunk could not have climbed to the single-story hotel’s roof," he said. "Even for a young man in good shape, it would not be easy to climb onto the rooftop."

Not true. Rainmaker has scaled many water towers and bridges back when he was a young drunk.

raustin0017
07-13-2013, 08:33 PM
Dorm sweep...OSI had inside info there were several who had just purchased junk from an off-base informant. All Chiefs & Shirts attended. SF were out with the K-9s. We split up into two person teams...went room to room.

About 1/2 way finished got a call to come to a certain room. They had found the A1C with his wife & girlfriend. And inside the room was a cage...with two raccoons. Not babies...big raccoons. WTF? Turned out the wife and her girlfriend came for a 'visit'. No one in the Sq even knew this guy was married let alone had a thing for raccoons.

BENDER56
07-14-2013, 12:02 AM
"A drunk could not have climbed to the single-story hotel’s roof," he said. "Even for a young man in good shape, it would not be easy to climb onto the rooftop."

Not true. Rainmaker has scaled many water towers and bridges back when he was a young drunk.

Same here. The spokesman had it backward; a sober person would never have tried it to begin with.

Chief_KO
07-14-2013, 01:37 AM
CENTCOM AOR circa 2004. I was deployed as part of CENTCOM Joint Security Directorate to perform anti-terrorism/force protection vulnerability assessments. We assessed DoD, DOS facilities, residences, roads, airports, seaports, hotels, etc.
In one country we were assessing the embassy to include the residences of the embassy staff. A USAF O-6 was the ranking military member assigned. As we were assessing his residence (he was TDY) I noticed his nice auto (Mercedes, BMW, or Audi...I forget exactly) in the carport. Just wanting to check it out I went in the carport for a peek. Yep, you guessed it...there is was lower left hand corner of the windshield...nice bright BLUE DoD vehicle sticker...complete with "Base X" in USAF Officer Blue. Oh, and just in case local terrorists were not fully briefed on DoD sticker recognition...yep you guessed it...there was his nice bright blue AF 0-6 Eagle sticker.

I pointed in out to the Mrs and told her that the Col should remove the sticker when he returned. Made for a nice picture for our outbrief and report!

raustin0017
07-14-2013, 05:38 PM
Elmendorf AFB 1989. Mobile Aerial Port Flight. We had a 22 person team responsible for rigging all airdrop training loads and drop zone recovery. One of the MSgts was reading the Anchorage paper free want add section. There was an add for Winter Sleeping Bags...$100 each. Guy listed his phone number. MSgt calls the number...and got a recording. "You have reached the home of SrA xxxxxxxxxxx, please leave your number and I will call you back." SrA xxxxxxxx was sitting in the same break room as the MSgt when he made the call. Fast forward to that evening. OSI knocked on SrA xxxxxxx front door and asked if they could look around. "Sure come on in." In the basement they found lockers full of brand new military equipment. He was our supply guy until that happened. Same guy was busted a few months before pumping MoGas into his POV. Got away with a LOR. The stolen equipment got him jail time and civilian status.

SomeRandomGuy
07-14-2013, 06:18 PM
When I was in tech school we had an Amn who filled his camelback with vodka for PT. It was close to 90 degrees outside and we normally did a 30 minute run at your own pace for PT. This kid was jogging around sipping vodka. At some point he got really dehydrated and passed out. The ambulance came and rushed him to the hospital. MTLs were concerned until the doctor said, "He is fine just really drunk"

raustin0017
07-14-2013, 06:59 PM
He was calling to purchase...but when the "Supply Guy" was advertising...he had to report.

LogDog
07-14-2013, 08:05 PM
I've posted this story before but it's still funny enough to re-post it. At RAF Feltwell, we had our medical warehouse to support the hospital at RAF Lakenheath, six miles away. We had some IV solution (destrose in water) to destroy because it was expired and the procedure was to cut the bags open and flush the solution. The empty bags were then thrown in the dumpster. The problem with throwing them in the dumpster was the sugar in the dextrose attracted bees. Soon, the entire dumpster was teeming with bees so one of our Airmen decided the best was to get rid of the bees was set the dumpster on fire, which he did. The fire department on Feltwell responded, put out the fire, and had a "talk" with our Airman. Later in the year and each year thereafter, when the fire department gave us our annual fire extinguisher training they'd lite a pan of diesel fuel and have use demonstrate how to put it out. They always select our Airman who set the dumpster on fire by addressing him as "Fire Marshall Bill" to lead the demonstration.

TREYSLEDGE
07-15-2013, 06:52 AM
Last tour in Iraq had a guy who was taking a shower and didn't hear the giant voice system call for a controlled detonation. He heard the loud boom and hit the floor in the latrine buck naked. He laid there for a few minutes until someone came in and froze when they saw a naked guy laying on the floor. My guy looks up and asks, "Have they sounded the all clear?" The guy says it was a controlled det and my guy hopped up and finished his business. The bad part of this story is that we found out about it because my guy came to office and told everyone.

More in line with this thread my last squadron had a Capt who was prior Army. One day he was the MC for some ceremony and his service coat had all his ribbons with the 1/8 inch spacing like the Army does. I told him, you're not in the Army anymore fix your ribbons. He says he's allowed to wear his Army ribbons and I say but not with the space. Next time I see him in service dress he still had the spacing. One day he was wearing a white t-shirt with his ABUs because he says he forgot his tan t-shirt that day. I mean, it's not like he was new to the Air Force. He'd been in for about 5 years. I was embarrased since everyone, enlisted and officer, noticed what a mess this guys was (uniforms and duty performance). But, he didn't work for me so I couldn't tear him up, but his boss sure got a lot of feedback from me. Luckily that dirt bag seperated soon after.

Chief_KO
07-15-2013, 12:09 PM
Keesler circa 2002. We graduated our students in Service Dress. Had a SrA (ANG) show up for graduation, first off he was executing the ever popular "Service Dress jacket button stress test"...had one of those buttons popped off it would have killed someone. But the real kicker was sewn above his stripes was his unit's patch (from his BDUs). Seems the lad was prior Army and "thought" the AF wore their unit insignia on their Service Dress like the Army.

True story: On a students graduation report, there was a place for comments from the instructors. His read "tends to forget simple concepts, especially after lunch". New sq/cc came on board and called me in to discuss our flights comments..everyone else used the standard AF-speak. He didn't want us to change, just wanted to talk about how honest we were.

20+Years
07-15-2013, 01:54 PM
You may have to use your imagination on this one to picture it, but we always had FTAC Amn show up in service blues the first day so we could ensure they had a set, and they still fit. Its amazing how much weight some people gain in tech school...

This one kid shows up, and he is authorized two ribbons. He is wearing them on a four ribbon rack. He pretty much mangled half of the third ribbon area off on the bottom row... including the pin... and the top row was just empty as could be. With a single pin holding it on the jacket, its just resting on the pocket edge when he is standing very still.

I was speechless. He said there were no 2 ribbon racks at the BX, so he did what he could. At lunch I went to the BX, picked up the obviously available 2 ribbon rack and his 2 required ribbons, confiscated the set he wore for evidence it really happened. Utilized often for laughs and giggles.

raustin0017
07-15-2013, 02:22 PM
TDY to Sierra Leone, Africa. Airlifting CH-47s and CH-53s that had been used for the refugee airlift mission. Billets were about 6-miles from the fighting...armed guards at hotel to keep us safe. Hundreds of refugee's in the area. A pilot, CAPT, USAF asks me..."Can I get AIDS from a BJ?" "Sir, let me know in a few months how that works out for you." Dumb Airmen...come in all pay grades.

Rusty Jones
07-15-2013, 02:54 PM
I was a PO2 at the time (2004), and it was just another typical day in port. A PO1, who had been in for about 12 years, comes into my office needing me to complete a DD 1172 for him, because he just noticed that his ID card had expired yesterday (in the Navy, personnel assigned to ships smaller than cruisers have to get the form from the ship and take it to the ID card office).

I asked him why it expired. He said he didn't know. My assumption was that he had reenlisted, and that he forgot to get an updated ID. So I pulled out his service record, looking for his new EAOS to use as the expiration date. There was no new enlistment contract. I checked the system. Dude's EAOS really WAS yesterday.

I was pissed, and I started ripping this dude a new asshole. The Command Master Chief walked in on this, and ask me what was going in - he told me to step out of the office, and proceeded to dig into this guy's ass.

For one thing, he had just reported onboard and had only been there for a month - and there was no mention of OBLISERVE on his orders when he had checked onboard.

I was brought back into the office. He stated that he wasn't sure of whether or not he wanted to reenlist. Of course, I needed to know - because I had to do one of two things: either process this guy out and send him on his way, or or do his reenlistment. Dude finally decides to reenlist after tying me up for about an hour.

About three years later after I had gone to shore duty, I learned that this same guy got kicked out after his open laptop was found in the chartroom with gay porn on it (DADT was still in effect at the time).

Shaken1976
07-15-2013, 03:16 PM
Had an airman in trouble for dorm room inspection. He was supposed to be standing in Full Service Dress outside his room at 0700 on a Saturday morning. I head over about 0630 to make sure he was ready before the Shirt got there. This kid is still asleep. He finally answers the door around 0645 and I tell him he better get dressed quick. He comes out a few minutes later.... his service jacket was too small...not as in he gained weight but as in he was 6'1 and wearing his roommates jacket who was 5 ft 6. His pants looked like he slept in them. There was some sort of odd yellow stain on the collar of his shirt, and he was wearing white socks. It was awful. I found out his service jacket was balled up under his bed. The room was still awful.

I had him standby and went to meet the shirt in the parking lot. I told him what was going on. I got to spend the rest of my Saturday watching this kid clean his room. He had another room inspection in full service dress the following Saturday. I checked his uniform and room Friday...both were good. Come Saturday morning....room is trashed yet again. AND...his shoes had a hole in them. Also...looked like he slept in the pants.

This went on for over a month. I had the kid reporting in with full service dress daily and was checking his room daily. He still managed to jack it up for the Shirt. Finally the shirt had enough and took a stripe from the kid. From then on he was a perfect airman...room always clean, uniform always perfect....

Pullinteeth
07-15-2013, 03:35 PM
Had an airman in trouble for dorm room inspection. He was supposed to be standing in Full Service Dress outside his room at 0700 on a Saturday morning. I head over about 0630 to make sure he was ready before the Shirt got there. This kid is still asleep. He finally answers the door around 0645 and I tell him he better get dressed quick. He comes out a few minutes later.... his service jacket was too small...not as in he gained weight but as in he was 6'1 and wearing his roommates jacket who was 5 ft 6. His pants looked like he slept in them. There was some sort of odd yellow stain on the collar of his shirt, and he was wearing white socks. It was awful. I found out his service jacket was balled up under his bed. The room was still awful.

I had him standby and went to meet the shirt in the parking lot. I told him what was going on. I got to spend the rest of my Saturday watching this kid clean his room. He had another room inspection in full service dress the following Saturday. I checked his uniform and room Friday...both were good. Come Saturday morning....room is trashed yet again. AND...his shoes had a hole in them. Also...looked like he slept in the pants.

This went on for over a month. I had the kid reporting in with full service dress daily and was checking his room daily. He still managed to jack it up for the Shirt. Finally the shirt had enough and took a stripe from the kid. From then on he was a perfect airman...room always clean, uniform always perfect....

Feel bad for the kid... IMO if your room isn't a health hazard, that should be good enough... There is no reason to bother a dormrat on the weekend. Unless you have all of your married unit members standing outside their door at 0700 in full service dress, you shouldn't have your single unit members standing outside theirs...

Pullinteeth
07-15-2013, 03:39 PM
His neighbor complained of an awful smell. We went to inspect and there were trash bags piled in each corner, take out containers stacked everywhere, and just general grossness. It was awful. He was given a few chances to get it in order before the Saturday inspections began. We found mold in his microwave and slime in his fridge. The kid had issues.

That is different then...

Shaken1976
07-15-2013, 03:39 PM
Feel bad for the kid... IMO if your room isn't a health hazard, that should be good enough... There is no reason to bother a dormrat on the weekend. Unless you have all of your married unit members standing outside their door at 0700 in full service dress, you shouldn't have your single unit members standing outside theirs...

His neighbor complained of an awful smell. We went to inspect and there were trash bags piled in each corner, take out containers stacked everywhere, and just general grossness. It was awful. He was given a few chances to get it in order before the Saturday inspections began. We found mold in his microwave and slime in his fridge. The kid had issues.

Shaken1976
07-15-2013, 03:43 PM
That is different then...

I honestly never believed the stories about how awful rooms could be. I got this guy as a troop about two weeks before all this happened. At work he was kind of in lala land sometimes...but he did what he was told and he tried hard. After all of this...he was completely different.

BENDER56
07-15-2013, 04:37 PM
Once had a troop show up reeking of alcohol for his final ADAPT treatment team meeting.

Shaken1976
07-15-2013, 05:23 PM
Once had a troop show up reeking of alcohol for his final ADAPT treatment team meeting.

I had a similar situation. Troop was arrested for arson. He was in ADAPT as well. Went to his house to get his dog and there are bottles everywhere. Not to mention the place was so nasty we needed masks to enter. The apartment complex kicked him out. He tried telling us that the beer bottles all over the place weren't his. That they were from his neighbor hanging out. No one in their right mind would have been in that place.

ttribe
07-16-2013, 06:07 PM
TDY to Sierra Leone, Africa. Airlifting CH-47s and CH-53s that had been used for the refugee airlift mission. Billets were about 6-miles from the fighting...armed guards at hotel to keep us safe. Hundreds of refugee's in the area. A pilot, CAPT, USAF asks me..."Can I get AIDS from a BJ?" "Sir, let me know in a few months how that works out for you." Dumb Airmen...come in all pay grades.

I would have answered, "Did you remember to spit it out Sir?

Measure Man
07-16-2013, 06:22 PM
You may have to use your imagination on this one to picture it, but we always had FTAC Amn show up in service blues the first day so we could ensure they had a set, and they still fit. Its amazing how much weight some people gain in tech school...

This one kid shows up, and he is authorized two ribbons. He is wearing them on a four ribbon rack. He pretty much mangled half of the third ribbon area off on the bottom row... including the pin... and the top row was just empty as could be. With a single pin holding it on the jacket, its just resting on the pocket edge when he is standing very still.

I was speechless. He said there were no 2 ribbon racks at the BX, so he did what he could. At lunch I went to the BX, picked up the obviously available 2 ribbon rack and his 2 required ribbons, confiscated the set he wore for evidence it really happened. Utilized often for laughs and giggles.

He could also have used a one-ribbon rack and put each of his two ribbons halfway on.

Been there, done that.

sandsjames
07-16-2013, 06:36 PM
Had an airman busted for using his GTC to pay for a dating website on a government computer. Funny thing is his last name was Smart.

BENDER56
07-16-2013, 06:43 PM
He could also have used a one-ribbon rack and put each of his two ribbons halfway on.

Been there, done that.

Same here. When I went from four ribbons to five, seven to eight, ten to eleven, etc., I just put two ribbons on that single top mount. It always worked fine and saved me from buying new racks until I hit the next multiple of three.

Yeah, I'm a cheapskate.

20+Years
07-16-2013, 06:48 PM
Funny. All these years and I never thought of trying that.

I do know when I was an Amn doing bag drags... the uniforms inside my bag only had the stripes taped on. If the NCOs would have ever noticed... I'd have more to say on the LOC thread.

imported_WILDJOKER5
07-16-2013, 07:33 PM
Got two real fast. Had a guy that just PCSd in with some trouble from past base. Well, after a few weeks I guess, he is already getting in trouble and is reporting to the commander for paperwork. I guess it was because he was late. He needed to buy new blues to report. Well, later that night, we have to go to a banquet in semi formal atire, I notice his work badge is upsidedown. As a 5 level, it can be hard to tell sometimes. So I have him go to the restroom and fix it. Wondering why the commander didnt see it, it was about a few days later I found out he was late to the meeting with the commander to get his paperwork. He was told he wouldnt reenlist. One magical day, our higher ups were informed he had about 48 hrs to pack up and get off base.

One from tech school. Keesler. Coming out of the new dorms. I am standing in the MTLs office talking to them about something on a friday after school as this Amn goes flying out the foyer with bright green hair. He was stopped and delayed in his weekend plans as he washed out the dye.

Measure Man
07-16-2013, 08:29 PM
Had an airman busted for using his GTC to pay for a dating website on a government computer. Funny thing is his last name was Smart.

Man, we had an Airman in Korea...one weekend he just starts going nuts...buying all his buddies drinks, buying juices all night, ringing the bell, etc....did it for close to a week.

Turns out he was using his Govt. AMEX..ran up over $10K on it.

It was his way of getting an early out...and it worked.

SomeRandomGuy
07-16-2013, 09:41 PM
One from tech school. Keesler. Coming out of the new dorms. I am standing in the MTLs office talking to them about something on a friday after school as this Amn goes flying out the foyer with bright green hair. He was stopped and delayed in his weekend plans as he washed out the dye.

This reminded me of another good one from tech school at Keesler. We had dorms that opened to interior hallways meaning you had to come in the front door passed CQ to go to any room in the building. This meant that prior to being allowed in you need to show your phase card. If you were out past curfew or not in proper attire for your phase you would be directed to MTLs office. Well anyways it was a weekend and a kid comes walking in the lobby dragging one of those rolling suitcases. This seemed kind of odd because new people never arrive on weekends so what was he doing bringing in a suit case. One of the MTLs stopped him and made him open it. Guess what was inside?.....................One of the girls from a different squadron. Apparently his genius idea was to sneak her in to his room by hiding her in his suitcase. This might have been a great Amn to call her parents on. I bet they would love to hear about how she wanted sex so bad she was willing to try and sneak in the building in a suitcase.

imported_Renazance
07-17-2013, 12:57 PM
Had a coworker that PCS'd to Osan and left there married to a Russian juicy. Sad thing is, everyone in the shop he PCS'd out of knew how in love he was with being in love and called it before he even got to Korea.

Shaken1976
07-17-2013, 01:15 PM
This reminded me of another good one from tech school at Keesler. We had dorms that opened to interior hallways meaning you had to come in the front door passed CQ to go to any room in the building. This meant that prior to being allowed in you need to show your phase card. If you were out past curfew or not in proper attire for your phase you would be directed to MTLs office. Well anyways it was a weekend and a kid comes walking in the lobby dragging one of those rolling suitcases. This seemed kind of odd because new people never arrive on weekends so what was he doing bringing in a suit case. One of the MTLs stopped him and made him open it. Guess what was inside?.....................One of the girls from a different squadron. Apparently his genius idea was to sneak her in to his room by hiding her in his suitcase. This might have been a great Amn to call her parents on. I bet they would love to hear about how she wanted sex so bad she was willing to try and sneak in the building in a suitcase.

When I cross trained there was a guy that supposedly had sex on the golf course and another that supposedly had it in an empty dumpster.... Not sure how true it was.

SomeRandomGuy
07-17-2013, 03:18 PM
When I cross trained there was a guy that supposedly had sex on the golf course and another that supposedly had it in an empty dumpster.... Not sure how true it was.

That stuff happened all the time. The golf course was also a popular place for people not in the proper phase to go for a quick smoke. One time a guy was finger banging a girl in one of the sand traps. They saw security forces coming and she ran off but he stayed. They caught him and assumed he was out there smoking:

SF: Were you out here smoking?
Amn: No Sir!
SF: Let me smell your hand
Amn: Sure
SF: OMG! You are disgusting get out of here

*Not really sure how true this story is but it is one that was re-told a lot. I feel bad for the SFS guy if it is true but then again the Amn was just obeying his order. He did ask to smell his finger.

Shaken1976
07-17-2013, 03:37 PM
That stuff happened all the time. The golf course was also a popular place for people not in the proper phase to go for a quick smoke. One time a guy was finger banging a girl in one of the sand traps. They saw security forces coming and she ran off but he stayed. They caught him and assumed he was out there smoking:

SF: Were you out here smoking?
Amn: No Sir!
SF: Let me smell your hand
Amn: Sure
SF: OMG! You are disgusting get out of here

*Not really sure how true this story is but it is one that was re-told a lot. I feel bad for the SFS guy if it is true but then again the Amn was just obeying his order. He did ask to smell his finger.

I have a few friends that are MTLs and the stories I hear are awesome. Seeing the tech schoolers around base here and watching them do crazy stuff is highly entertaining. A few weeks ago there were a few airman in the commissary. They had a full basket and two backpacks. Outside the commissary they were trying to load all of their groceries into the two backpacks. it didn't work. Both had their backpacks and about four bags in each hand. I am sure that was a long walk.

Chief_KO
07-19-2013, 12:33 PM
Keesler circa 1999. While on NCOD duty doing a walk thru of the dorms...probably around 2AM or so. Walked into one of the dayrooms (in the old dorms the dayrooms connected the bays). Walked in on an Airman "cuffing the carrot".

raustin0017
07-19-2013, 01:38 PM
Ops squadron, CAFB, Sq Supt. Shirt comes to me and has a few pages of AMEX charges on one of the guys. Digital trail of gas/food all the way to West Coast? Checked with scheduling...he was not on leave or TDY? Called his cell number...and left msg to contact me ASAP. He called and I asked him where he was. "San Francisco." How did you get there? "I drove." Are you on leave? "Nope." Have you used your Gov CC? "No way." When are you coming back? "In a week or so." Pack your bags, get some rest and head back early tomorrow morning. "Can't, my birthday is tomorrow and Mom is baking a cake and going to have a party." You at your Mom's now? "Yes." Can I speak to her. "Sure...Mom...phone is for you."

We turned off his CC and Mom had to pay for him to fly back to Chucktown the next day.

20+Years
07-19-2013, 01:42 PM
So many stories...

The final straw for discharge was one of our Airmen streaking through the dorms. It seems "the cool kids" dared him to lap the dorms naked. He did. A few months later he was found still living in the dorms, never had left the base. Just stayed with this or that person, living the dorm lifestyle.

jpeters
07-19-2013, 02:07 PM
Another dirty troop story. My first troop ever. I was A SrA and his piss mate told the dorm manager that there were bugs coming from under my guy’s door into the bathroom that they shared. The dorm manager goes in to check it out and he has a pile of crap in the sink, some stuff had been sitting there so long there was mold and other stuff growing in the bowls of milk he had just left there. I get called to check it out. Called him in and had him clean that area up but it still smelled horrible. Had him open his wall lockers, one was almost completely full of trash bags. My troop said it was too cold for him to take the trash out when he filled them up so he was just waiting for it to warm up outside and then he was going to take them out. After about 6 trips to the dumpster he had cleaned out his wall locker…then he was put on bay orderly for two months straight.

Shaken1976
07-19-2013, 02:18 PM
Another dirty troop story. My first troop ever. I was A SrA and his piss mate told the dorm manager that there were bugs coming from under my guy’s door into the bathroom that they shared. The dorm manager goes in to check it out and he has a pile of crap in the sink, some stuff had been sitting there so long there was mold and other stuff growing in the bowls of milk he had just left there. I get called to check it out. Called him in and had him clean that area up but it still smelled horrible. Had him open his wall lockers, one was almost completely full of trash bags. My troop said it was too cold for him to take the trash out when he filled them up so he was just waiting for it to warm up outside and then he was going to take them out. After about 6 trips to the dumpster he had cleaned out his wall locker…then he was put on bay orderly for two months straight.



Crazy. You have to walk outside at some point. I mean..if I have filled up trash bags and it has been freezing cold out...and in the morning when I leave for work I take them out. It isn't roclet science.

My favorite has always been the alarm didn't wake me up excuse. We had one guy use that excuse so often that our NCOIC had him bring his clock in. He tested it multiple times and each time it went off. My alarm didn't wake me ONCE...because I forgot to turn it on. Luckily for me I woke up about 10 minutes later than normal and made it to work with about 10 seconds to spare...which makes me crazy. I hate being anywhere close to late.

SomeRandomGuy
07-19-2013, 02:22 PM
So many stories...

The final straw for discharge was one of our Airmen streaking through the dorms. It seems "the cool kids" dared him to lap the dorms naked. He did. A few months later he was found still living in the dorms, never had left the base. Just stayed with this or that person, living the dorm lifestyle.

What base was this? Was it WPAFB? I don't know the story about why the kid was kicked out but I do know about a guy who lived in the dorms for like 3 months after he was out. At the time if you volunteered to be dorm chief they gave you two connecting rooms. This kid was sleeping in the dorm chief's extra room on most nights. The dorm chief and other guys would take turns getting him a 30 day pass so he could keep getting on base.

jpeters
07-19-2013, 02:28 PM
Crazy. You have to walk outside at some point. I mean..if I have filled up trash bags and it has been freezing cold out...and in the morning when I leave for work I take them out. It isn't roclet science.

My favorite has always been the alarm didn't wake me up excuse. We had one guy use that excuse so often that our NCOIC had him bring his clock in. He tested it multiple times and each time it went off. My alarm didn't wake me ONCE...because I forgot to turn it on. Luckily for me I woke up about 10 minutes later than normal and made it to work with about 10 seconds to spare...which makes me crazy. I hate being anywhere close to late.

Yeah I love those! Just say I stayed up to 2 in the morning doing whatever. Don't say you didn't hear your alarm or it didn't go off. There is a reason that it didn't. I didn't turn my alarm on one time because I thought it was a Friday night when I got home. Turned out working 12's on the flightline and getting ready for our inspection got to me because it was only Thursday. You can imagine my face when I got a knock on my dorm room door asking if I was planning on coming to work that day.

raustin0017
07-19-2013, 03:21 PM
Alarm clock failures/excuses: A1C had been late for local training flights three times. Supervisor did everything correct; verbal counseling, MFRs, and one LOC. After the 3rd time I called him and his supervisor in the office. Explained to him again about his responsibilities. Seemed to work. Two weeks later...no show for mission. Called the SF Chief. He agreed with my plan. SF and Shirt went to his dorm room and found him asleep. He was arrested, put in cuffs and taken to the integration room. About 90-minutes later...I picked him up and back to my office for LOR. From then on he was 15 minutes early for everything.

LogDog
07-19-2013, 06:24 PM
At Myrtle Beach AFB in the 70s, we had an airman who was getting out. As part of his celebration of leaving he decided to shoot off some fireworks from his dorm windows. The dorms were 3-story, cinder block buildings and he was on the second floor. About 10 pm, it's dark enough for him to shoot off his stash of fireworks. He turned off the lights in his room and most of the other rooms on his side of the dorm were also out. He opened his window and started up the fireworks show. As the bottle rockets and star bursts were going off a crowd formed outside the building. The airman was putting on a great show. He decided for his finale to use a large rocket that had multiple star bursts . He pointed it outside his window and tried to light the fuse with a match but the wind kept blowing out the match. He got the idea to close the window, light the rocket, and then open the window so the rocket will fly out of his room. All went well when he light the fuse but when he went to open the window it was stuck. The rocket took flight around the room and as each star burst went off you could see him silhouetted in various poses in the window as he ran around the room trying to escape the rocket. Fortunately, neither he or the room were damaged but it did make him a legend in the dorms for a couple of years.

20+Years
07-19-2013, 07:43 PM
What base was this? Was it WPAFB? I don't know the story about why the kid was kicked out but I do know about a guy who lived in the dorms for like 3 months after he was out. At the time if you volunteered to be dorm chief they gave you two connecting rooms. This kid was sleeping in the dorm chief's extra room on most nights. The dorm chief and other guys would take turns getting him a 30 day pass so he could keep getting on base.

It was at Keesler...sometime around 91-94 I would imagine. I was an Amn too.

TWilliams
07-19-2013, 07:49 PM
One of our airmen arrived as a first-termer and shortly after FTAC decided not to come to work one day. Our Sq Sup asked him the next day where he was and the airman replied that he had been at the sq all day. After interviewing every single airman in the Sq, we quickly determined that he was lying. Under further questioning he confessed that he had woken up late and decided it was just better not to come in at all that day. His false official statement along with his AWOL compounded with later displinary problems and CDC failure got him promoted to civilian quite fast.

ttribe
07-19-2013, 08:06 PM
Alarm clock failures/excuses: A1C had been late for local training flights three times. Supervisor did everything correct; verbal counseling, MFRs, and one LOC. After the 3rd time I called him and his supervisor in the office. Explained to him again about his responsibilities. Seemed to work. Two weeks later...no show for mission. Called the SF Chief. He agreed with my plan. SF and Shirt went to his dorm room and found him asleep. He was arrested, put in cuffs and taken to the integration room. About 90-minutes later...I picked him up and back to my office for LOR. From then on he was 15 minutes early for everything.

I remember a young boom like that at McGuire. He had multiple late shows for flights while in training. The day of his inital qual checkride, I was at the school house to check the FE on his flight. The bus came and the pilot called him. He heard the phone ring but not the alarm going off next to his head. He showed up late and caught up and had a great flight. The de-brief was another matter though. a few weeks later he was late for a local, and soon after I ran into him with no stripe and awaiting discharge. It's sad to see a persons inablility to wake up for work on time cost them a great job.

Shaken1976
07-19-2013, 08:30 PM
We had a guy call in and say he quit. However, he was still hanging out in his dorm room when his supervisor got there.

Another airman was on quarters and was found at the strip club in the middle of the duty day...claimed he felt better.

Had an airman forget his hat and wore a Yankees ball cap instead...Shirt was a Braves fan...

I have seen countless bobtail accidents.

An SF member tried to put out a fire in a heater with a fire extinguisher....That was fun to clean up.

An underage airman took leave, got plastered, got a DUI back home. Came to work after his leave was up and was telling a friend about it in the smoke pit. Not a good plan.

20+Years
07-19-2013, 09:25 PM
Had an Airman that worked for me tell me his story, this guy was less than stellar as you can imagine. He was in tech school. He wakes up one morning, really tired, doesn't want to go to school. He gets the idea of hiding in his wall locker. Gets in the wall locker and dozes off. The problem is from the outside of the locker, its unsecured. MTL comes by doing room inspections, see the unlocked wall locker and throws open the doors. After his initial shock of someone being inside, my Airman said it was the butt chewing of a lifetime.

Chief_KO
07-20-2013, 02:27 AM
This is a long one...sorry.
Keesler (yes, again) circa 2001. Thanksgiving break; married Amn takes family and leaves the area for the extended weekend. Gives on base house key to buddy to watch house and feed the fish. Buddy (who now has keys to a house) gets 2 other buddies hatch the perfect plan. Thanksgiving day: Football, Pizza, Beer, Female Airmen! One buddy knows 3 females from other sq, puts out the word for a house party. Three buds order pizza, buy beer and wait the arrival of their guests. The girls are late, so with a buzz on, one of the buds decides that they are no shows and returns to the dorm. About 30 mins later the three girls arrive (already drunk). Two make their way into the house, the third passes out (half in/half out) of the car (in base housing). SFS drives by...stops and asks the young Amn what's goin on. She gets up panics and runs into the house. SFS (using all their fine-tuned investigative powers) follow the young gal to the home. They ring the doorbell and guess who answers...Yep, one of my students! He's wearing one of the Airman's bras on his head like a cap. Needless to say, the party was over. He got an Art 15 w/30 days CC (he was the ring leader) and yep...the Airmen whose home they were using got in trouble for leaving the area without a pass.

AERYCK13
07-20-2013, 12:28 PM
Since we work 24 hour shifts in the Firehouse, we don't leave for anything unless you go with your whole crew (normally)... Had a SSgt cross train in from COMM and he asked what we normally do for lunch. Again, since we work 24 hours we take 2 hour lunch (normally). So we told him we kinda do whatever we want (meaning eat, work-out, watch TV, take a nap, whatever). So he got in his car and went to the BX food court. While he was gone we had a call and he wasn't on his truck... Had to explain to him the concept of ready status...

Had another Amn that when he was on shift he would use other peoples bed sheets, blankets, and pillows when he went to bed at night on shift. Just whoever's he could find in whatever room he wound up in... So gross... And, he never showered on shift or brushed his teeth...

Last one... Had an Amn show up to FTAC in his blues. Now our badges have different ranks on them. From Firefighter all the way up to Fire Chief. Guess which one he bought at military clothing and wore to FTAC...

Chief_KO
07-20-2013, 12:42 PM
Last one... Had an Amn show up to FTAC in his blues. Now our badges have different ranks on them. From Firefighter all the way up to Fire Chief. Guess which one he bought at military clothing and wore to FTAC...

FTAC (at least where I am) is experiencing a whole lot of Amn showing up out of uniform on day 1 (Service Dress day). No ribbons, no nametag, no tie, no socks, no belt, wrong rank (shirt, jacket or both), haircut, soiled uniform. Usually about 1/4 had something wrong.

RobotChicken
07-20-2013, 01:36 PM
Since we work 24 hour shifts in the Firehouse, we don't leave for anything unless you go with your whole crew (normally)... Had a SSgt cross train in from COMM and he asked what we normally do for lunch. Again, since we work 24 hours we take 2 hour lunch (normally). So we told him we kinda do whatever we want (meaning eat, work-out, watch TV, take a nap, whatever). So he got in his car and went to the BX food court. While he was gone we had a call and he wasn't on his truck... Had to explain to him the concept of ready status...

Had another Amn that when he was on shift he would use other peoples bed sheets, blankets, and pillows when he went to bed at night on shift. Just whoever's he could find in whatever room he wound up in... So gross... And, he never showered on shift or brushed his teeth...

Last one... Had an Amn show up to FTAC in his blues. Now our badges have different ranks on them. From Firefighter all the way up to Fire Chief. Guess which one he bought at military clothing and wore to FTAC...

"The 'Fire Chiefs." (Clearly wasn't going to wait around for those 'pesky promotions')

Eastwood
07-21-2013, 12:56 PM
Our TI told these two guys that the only way to cure Athletes Foot is with urine. Next thing you know these two are pissing on their feet. We had a guy from Lavonia, Georgia who said he learned the trick in High School. Granted this was in 1985......

20+Years
07-22-2013, 12:47 PM
FTAC (at least where I am) is experiencing a whole lot of Amn showing up out of uniform on day 1 (Service Dress day). No ribbons, no nametag, no tie, no socks, no belt, wrong rank (shirt, jacket or both), haircut, soiled uniform. Usually about 1/4 had something wrong.

No joke, I had students that would show up to class in a Service Dress they had packed in thier duffle bag from Tech School. Straight from a duffle bag onto thier body. Talk about looking sharp~

Other than that, I saw it all. Wrong badges, no badges, uniforms that didn't fit, ones who thought ties were optional in service dress. Tons of wrong rank, no US insignia, ect. I loved the ones who couldn't take off thier service dress all day because thier shirt wasn't set up underneath. Middle of summer, hot in the classroom, but they probably thought they were fooling me by not taking off the coat.... lol. Kids.

20+Years
07-22-2013, 12:49 PM
Oh, and the hair! My NCO would turn them away at the door in the morning to go to the bathroom and wash out that stupid little mohawk thing the guys would try to wear. Grrrr.

akruse
07-22-2013, 01:22 PM
Was line super on Kadena 15 line. Walking up and down flow throughs helping out turn jets for the next go. Knew a couple spots down one of the somewhat experienced new guys was changing a nose tire. Came around the wall and see him on his butt at the nose tire using both bottoms of his feet to try and kick the tire off. I'm confused as I look at him and then look around him and see an axle nut with accompnaying retention pin as well as the jack still on the tool box. Its still not clicking in my head what hes attempting to do so I ask him WTF and he replies with "just changing this tire out quick sir". I ask him if he forgot something as he attempts to give the tire another push with his feet but he replied with "nope, this tire is being a bitch though, I think its stuck on the axle". I was tempted to let him continue to try and kick the tire off but was sure that in some freak occurence, he would actually get the wheel off even though there was a good 20,000 lbs of a/c holding it on. Escorted him to the flight office and said I would never work with him on the flight line. He went to the support section while they sorted his admin discharge. Haven't been able to top that guy yet.

TJMAC77SP
07-22-2013, 01:41 PM
That stuff happened all the time. The golf course was also a popular place for people not in the proper phase to go for a quick smoke. One time a guy was finger banging a girl in one of the sand traps. They saw security forces coming and she ran off but he stayed. They caught him and assumed he was out there smoking:

SF: Were you out here smoking?
Amn: No Sir!
SF: Let me smell your hand
Amn: Sure
SF: OMG! You are disgusting get out of here

*Not really sure how true this story is but it is one that was re-told a lot. I feel bad for the SFS guy if it is true but then again the Amn was just obeying his order. He did ask to smell his finger.

This story is really about the cop who asked to smell another guy's finger.

imported_WILDJOKER5
08-02-2013, 02:58 PM
Alarm clock failures/excuses: A1C had been late for local training flights three times. Supervisor did everything correct; verbal counseling, MFRs, and one LOC. After the 3rd time I called him and his supervisor in the office. Explained to him again about his responsibilities. Seemed to work. Two weeks later...no show for mission. Called the SF Chief. He agreed with my plan. SF and Shirt went to his dorm room and found him asleep. He was arrested, put in cuffs and taken to the integration room. About 90-minutes later...I picked him up and back to my office for LOR. From then on he was 15 minutes early for everything.

Had a guy wake up 2-3 hours before shift. Spend 2 hours watching FNC. Now even walking to work took only 15 mins. He was late so much they put him on extra duty with art 15 and asked why he never tried to show up 15 mins early like everyone else. "Showing up 15 mins early is a curtesy". He finally got the boot when he got to his next base when he started showing up late again.

imported_WILDJOKER5
08-02-2013, 03:05 PM
This is a long one...sorry.
Keesler (yes, again) circa 2001. Thanksgiving break; married Amn takes family and leaves the area for the extended weekend. Gives on base house key to buddy to watch house and feed the fish. Buddy (who now has keys to a house) gets 2 other buddies hatch the perfect plan. Thanksgiving day: Football, Pizza, Beer, Female Airmen! One buddy knows 3 females from other sq, puts out the word for a house party. Three buds order pizza, buy beer and wait the arrival of their guests. The girls are late, so with a buzz on, one of the buds decides that they are no shows and returns to the dorm. About 30 mins later the three girls arrive (already drunk). Two make their way into the house, the third passes out (half in/half out) of the car (in base housing). SFS drives by...stops and asks the young Amn what's goin on. She gets up panics and runs into the house. SFS (using all their fine-tuned investigative powers) follow the young gal to the home. They ring the doorbell and guess who answers...Yep, one of my students! He's wearing one of the Airman's bras on his head like a cap. Needless to say, the party was over. He got an Art 15 w/30 days CC (he was the ring leader) and yep...the Airmen whose home they were using got in trouble for leaving the area without a pass.

I remember that story.

Chief_KO
08-03-2013, 02:18 AM
I remember that story.

So were you a student or permanent party???