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Absinthe Anecdote
06-18-2013, 10:40 PM
I was thinking we could rip off Overheard in New York and start an Overheard in the Air Force thread.
Here are a few from the original website to give you an idea of what I’m talking about.

12PM On the Count of Three, Quote Rankin-Bass
Config Manager Guy: It’s like the island of misfit toys over there.
DBA: I don’t want to be in support, I want to be a dentist.
2202 N. Westshore Boulevard
Tampa, Florida

6PM Not Even If It Ends Up Here?

NYU Professor: Being a visiting professor has its good points: I don’t give a shit what I say!
19 University Place
New York, NY
Posted 2013-06-17

5PM “Fortunately, I managed to rightsize the baby in time.”

Supervisor: Trust me. I’ll take care of it.
Employee: The last time I heard that line I ended up pregnant.
631 Dickinson Avenue
Greenville, North Carolina
Posted 2013-06-17

4PM “…I mean, rightsize us.”

Candidate: At my last job, our supervisors drilled it into us that we had to document everything we designed.
Interviewer: And what was the purpose of documenting your designs?
Candidate: They were getting ready to fire us.
47 Mall Drive
Commack, New York
Posted 2013-06-17

3PM Unions: Your Guarantee of Quality

A maintenance guy hangs up a picture and tells his assistant: That should stay up till it falls down.
3301 Gun Club Road
West Palm Beach, Florida

10PM Take This Job and McShove It

Manager: You have to keep your collar buttoned unless your undershirt is white. I can see that yours is black.
Cashier: That’s not how we did it before.
Manager: That wasn’t this McDonald’s.
1983 86th Street
Brooklyn, New York

4PM When It’s Kill-or-Cure Time

Coworker to another who’s holding McDonald’s: God, I love the taste of sausage when I’m hung over

Absinthe Anecdote
06-18-2013, 11:45 PM
Five Dollars Per Axel
Gate Guard: Good evening Sir, may I see you military ID card?
Confused Motorist: How much is the toll?
Gate Guard: This isn’t a toll booth.

Absinthe Anecdote
06-19-2013, 12:04 AM
It’s a little tart for my taste
SSgt 1: Dude! It’s true the astronauts drink recycled piss during space flights.
SSgt 2: No man, the astronauts drink Tang!
SSgt 1: And why do you think it’s called Tang?