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Shaken1976
05-10-2013, 04:03 PM
We have a new NCO in our shop. Sent to us from another shop. Rumor had it that he would just vanish. I thought...I will give it a week and see how it goes. Wednesday the civilians in the shop started a stopwatch to see how often he is out. I shit you not...3 hours 21 minutes not including lunch. So that means about half the day he was gone wandering around and no one knew where he was.

Then I told him yesterday that if he was leaving the office he needed to let someone know if he was going to be gone more than a few minutes. Well...he told one of the civilians who is about to retire and doesn't really care. Yesterday he went to the bank, shoppette, and then another shoppette visit. Total time out of office not including lunch 3 hours 13 minutes.

Today we are already over 2 hours not including lunch.

I am not the NCOIC nor his supervisor...but I do outrank him and I am about to throat punch him.

Rant over.

Anyone else have a vanishing NCO/Airman/GS?

SomeRandomGuy
05-10-2013, 04:12 PM
We have a new NCO in our shop. Sent to us from another shop. Rumor had it that he would just vanish. I thought...I will give it a week and see how it goes. Wednesday the civilians in the shop started a stopwatch to see how often he is out. I shit you not...3 hours 21 minutes not including lunch. So that means about half the day he was gone wandering around and no one knew where he was.

Then I told him yesterday that if he was leaving the office he needed to let someone know if he was going to be gone more than a few minutes. Well...he told one of the civilians who is about to retire and doesn't really care. Yesterday he went to the bank, shoppette, and then another shoppette visit. Total time out of office not including lunch 3 hours 13 minutes.

Today we are already over 2 hours not including lunch.

I am not the NCOIC nor his supervisor...but I do outrank him and I am about to throat punch him.

Rant over.

Anyone else have a vanishing NCO/Airman/GS?


Hmmm? The case of the Vanishing NCO. This sounds like a job for ........

http://blogs.reed.edu/reedreslife/files/2013/04/s1.jpg

Measure Man
05-10-2013, 04:13 PM
We have a new NCO in our shop. Sent to us from another shop. Rumor had it that he would just vanish. I thought...I will give it a week and see how it goes. Wednesday the civilians in the shop started a stopwatch to see how often he is out. I shit you not...3 hours 21 minutes not including lunch. So that means about half the day he was gone wandering around and no one knew where he was.

Then I told him yesterday that if he was leaving the office he needed to let someone know if he was going to be gone more than a few minutes. Well...he told one of the civilians who is about to retire and doesn't really care. Yesterday he went to the bank, shoppette, and then another shoppette visit. Total time out of office not including lunch 3 hours 13 minutes.

Today we are already over 2 hours not including lunch.

I am not the NCOIC nor his supervisor...but I do outrank him and I am about to throat punch him.

Rant over.

Anyone else have a vanishing NCO/Airman/GS?

Knew a guy that would sit on the toilet for 2-3 hours per day.

Of course, then when he gets set straight he goes telling everyone outside the shop that his supervisor is such a prick that he actually monitors potty breaks, etc.

Measure Man
05-10-2013, 04:16 PM
At once or multiple trips? We had a guy - now discharged - who used to fall asleep in there. You'd see these feet sticking out from under the stall door and hear snoring.

Once in the morning, once in the afternoon....but never during break or lunch periods

technomage1
05-10-2013, 04:20 PM
Yep. I don't mind an errand here and there - mission permitting - but some people take it to extremes.

KellyinAvon
05-10-2013, 04:20 PM
This other shop that traded him, did they get a BBQ grill or some guy who is a projected gain in 18 months about to go to Kunsan?
Yeah, this guy needs his attention got. He has a history of this so the "cool and subtle" approach may not work. This may require going R. Lee Ermy.

technomage1
05-10-2013, 04:21 PM
Knew a guy that would sit on the toilet for 2-3 hours per day.

Of course, then when he gets set straight he goes telling everyone outside the shop that his supervisor is such a prick that he actually monitors potty breaks, etc.

At once or multiple trips? We had a guy - now discharged - who used to fall asleep in there. You'd see these feet sticking out from under the stall door and hear snoring.

VFFTSGT
05-10-2013, 04:21 PM
We have a new NCO in our shop. Sent to us from another shop. Rumor had it that he would just vanish. I thought...I will give it a week and see how it goes. Wednesday the civilians in the shop started a stopwatch to see how often he is out. I shit you not...3 hours 21 minutes not including lunch. So that means about half the day he was gone wandering around and no one knew where he was.

Then I told him yesterday that if he was leaving the office he needed to let someone know if he was going to be gone more than a few minutes. Well...he told one of the civilians who is about to retire and doesn't really care. Yesterday he went to the bank, shoppette, and then another shoppette visit. Total time out of office not including lunch 3 hours 13 minutes.

Today we are already over 2 hours not including lunch.

I am not the NCOIC nor his supervisor...but I do outrank him and I am about to throat punch him.

Rant over.

Anyone else have a vanishing NCO/Airman/GS?

You just described about 80% of the government workforce whose goal it is, is to do the least amount of work and stay away from the office the most.

I'm surprised we don't have an award for it yet, oh wait...we do...we call it "Amn, NCO, SNCO of the Quarter/Year."

And we still spend a $1,000 for the plaques when there is no money and people are running around without proper PPE.

SomeRandomGuy
05-10-2013, 04:23 PM
We have a new NCO in our shop. Sent to us from another shop. Rumor had it that he would just vanish. I thought...I will give it a week and see how it goes. Wednesday the civilians in the shop started a stopwatch to see how often he is out. I shit you not...3 hours 21 minutes not including lunch. So that means about half the day he was gone wandering around and no one knew where he was.

Then I told him yesterday that if he was leaving the office he needed to let someone know if he was going to be gone more than a few minutes. Well...he told one of the civilians who is about to retire and doesn't really care. Yesterday he went to the bank, shoppette, and then another shoppette visit. Total time out of office not including lunch 3 hours 13 minutes.

Today we are already over 2 hours not including lunch.

I am not the NCOIC nor his supervisor...but I do outrank him and I am about to throat punch him.

Rant over.

Anyone else have a vanishing NCO/Airman/GS?

When I arrived at my first base I was the disappearing Amn. I had a civilian supervisor who had never supervised military before let alone a brand new Amn. I also had a pointless job that if I did what I was supposed to actually interferred with the mission instead of helping it. I starrted testing the boundaries by coming in a few minutes late. No one seemed to care so 0735 turned into 0745 and then 0805 and sometimes even 0830. I also normally went to lunch at 1100 and would not come back until about 1330 (great time for a nap at the dorms). Then after that I would leave at 1500. I think I was normally at work for about 3-4 hours at the most. No one really cared except those meddling military from other sections and their damn dog.

Another good story is when I was at Izmir Turkey. We had a small base in one town and then a NATO base in another that we supported. Some people had a mission at both places while others only worked at one or the other. Since the mission was slow no one had a problem with doing PT during the day and there was a small gym both places. Every time I went to the gym at NATO I would see this very ripped Navy guy working out. He seemed to be in there all the time. One day I didn't get a chance to go to the gym at NATO but I went in the afternoon at the other base. I saw the exact same guy there working out. I did some asking around and apparantly he was Navy. His NATO supervisor was ok with him working out because it was slow. So was his other supervisor. Neither of them knew that he spent the majority of his time at the gym. Both supervisors were clueless about his activities at the other base. I have to assume that when this guy was not working out he was here on AFT Forums posting as PTGOD.

sandsjames
05-10-2013, 04:25 PM
We had one at my last base. Not really sure where he was all the time but he was never at the shop.

Now, I am that guy, though I do retire soon. I'm getting a good 2 hours in per day, most days.

Measure Man
05-10-2013, 04:35 PM
Yep. I don't mind an errand here and there - mission permitting - but some people take it to extremes.

There's always someone that will take advantage.

On my current job, our time system can not use anything less than tenths of an hour (6 minutes)...so if you take vacation or personal time, it has to be in even tenths... you can take 1 hour 12 minutes or 1 hour 18 minutes, but not 1 hour 15 minutes, etc.

Anyway, so the boss puts out that he gives a 6 minute grace period for arriving at work, since he can't dock you less than that. Sure enough...several guys arrive 6 minutes late everyday. Even if they are here earlier, they sit in their cars until 6 minutes after...

At 7 minutes late they get docked a tenth on their personal time balance.

Zxc
05-10-2013, 05:43 PM
Knew a guy that would sit on the toilet for 2-3 hours per day.

Of course, then when he gets set straight he goes telling everyone outside the shop that his supervisor is such a prick that he actually monitors potty breaks, etc.

Had an Airman doing this number on a daily basis. He was the type that would be clearly butthurt if you ever inquire on the status of a job or glance at his computer monitor, which pretty much never showed much progress unless you were watching. The opposite of the boiling pot

Shaken1976
05-10-2013, 05:53 PM
I walk away for ten minutes to go to the bathroom and get a bottle of water and people notice I am gone. Guess the key is to be super quiet. I failed because I am loud.

20+Years
05-10-2013, 06:02 PM
The key is to be super unimportant. If no one relies on you, no one will look for you. In other words, suck at your job and you can get away with this.

SomeRandomGuy
05-10-2013, 06:06 PM
The key is to be super unimportant. If no one relies on you, no one will look for you. In other words, suck at your job and you can get away with this.

You just nailed it. The key is to be completely average at normal tasks. The first time someone gives you a special important task you need to screw it up badly. After that you will never be trusted with additional duties. It is sort of like the first time your wife asks you to do laundry. Just throw everything in dump a little soap and let err rip. After that you will never be asked to do laundry again. The less duties you have the easier it is to dissappear. If you also want a strong EPR you need to find the simplest most visibille work and accomplsih that in volume. If your job is to work on generators you need want to spend half the day repairing one when you could change the oil in 30 in the same amount of time.

Zxc
05-10-2013, 06:08 PM
The key is to be super unimportant. If no one relies on you, no one will look for you. In other words, suck at your job and you can get away with this.

This.
The second someone calls for you, asks for you, or turns around to ask you a question or seek your opinion and you're not there everyone notices. Some people can barely take a bathroom break while others disappear to the shoppette unnoticed.

Personally I try to conciously take breaks and limit computer time when I can. I'll sit and BS w/ the Airmen about current events or walk through the building even if there's nobody I need to see. I don't get in my car and run errands or whatever people do that eats up half of the day. My productivity plummets when I sit and focus too long unless there's a major time crunch to build up that good stress... otherwise if I'm working on something like a 1206 I spend a good 50% of the day socializing, reading, other otherwise avoiding. I do it, I know I do it, and I know how much more effective my work will be (on some specific tasks) because I do it. There's a balance to it, and though many do take advantage there's a time and a place for most things. Sometimes recognizing the difference is hard though.

Outside of everyone else in the section talking about this guy and taking detailed recordings of his days' activities, has anyone actually confronted him? A SCNO or peers? Or still gathering good facts on the situation?

Absinthe Anecdote
05-10-2013, 06:35 PM
We have a new NCO in our shop. Sent to us from another shop. Rumor had it that he would just vanish. I thought...I will give it a week and see how it goes. Wednesday the civilians in the shop started a stopwatch to see how often he is out. I shit you not...3 hours 21 minutes not including lunch. So that means about half the day he was gone wandering around and no one knew where he was.

Then I told him yesterday that if he was leaving the office he needed to let someone know if he was going to be gone more than a few minutes. Well...he told one of the civilians who is about to retire and doesn't really care. Yesterday he went to the bank, shoppette, and then another shoppette visit. Total time out of office not including lunch 3 hours 13 minutes.

Today we are already over 2 hours not including lunch.

I am not the NCOIC nor his supervisor...but I do outrank him and I am about to throat punch him.

Rant over.

Anyone else have a vanishing NCO/Airman/GS?

If you want to deal with this in a non-conventional manner start leaving bogus messages for him on his desk.

Leave notes on his desk saying the Chief, First Sergeant, or CC want to know where he has been all day.

You can even sign the notes if you want, just give his supervisor a heads up.

SomeRandomGuy
05-10-2013, 06:41 PM
If you want to deal with this in a non-conventional manner start leaving bogus messages for him on his desk.

Leave notes on his desk saying the Chief, First Sergeant, or CC want to know where he has been all day.

You can even sign the notes if you want, just give his supervisor a heads up.

Another good one is the surprise fire drill. Just pull the alarm and wait for the person taking accoutability. Has anyone seen SSgt Smith? Last I saw him was a few hours ago walking out the door.

Absinthe Anecdote
05-10-2013, 07:00 PM
I once had a nemesis at a unit that I was PCS’ing out of. A couple of months before I left I started filling out BS magazine subscriptions in his name and contest forms from those time share rentals.

You know the kind of crap that gets you on the tele-markers call list.

He started getting a bunch of junk mail at work and tele-marker calls on the duty phone.

He would freak out and yell at the tele-marketers. Funny stuff!

Near the exit of your average supermarket there are usually subscriptions for all kinds of dumb magazines and contest forms that will result in an enormous amount of unwanted calls.

BENDER56
05-10-2013, 07:24 PM
When I taught at Sheppard in the '90s, we were on podium for six hours, had an hour for lunch, and then had two hours of "admin time" to counsel students, update lesson plans, etc. This one guy used to go to the gym at lunch to play basketball and wouldn't return until the end of the duty day. He used to leave a spare hat and spare set of keys on his desk. If any of the supervisors came around looking for him, we'd look over at the hat and keys and say, "I don't know where he is, but he must be in the building somewhere."

spirit_eyes
05-10-2013, 07:36 PM
I once had a nemesis at a unit that I was PCS’ing out of. A couple of months before I left I started filling out BS magazine subscriptions in his name and contest forms from those time share rentals.

You know the kind of crap that gets you on the tele-markers call list.

He started getting a bunch of junk mail at work and tele-marker calls on the duty phone.

He would freak out and yell at the tele-marketers. Funny stuff!

Near the exit of your average supermarket there are usually subscriptions for all kinds of dumb magazines and contest forms that will result in an enormous amount of unwanted calls.

I heard of something similar, years ago. Seems this guy was a real jerk, no one liked him. So, someone went and got subscription cards from every porn mag they could find ( gay, straight, didn't matter, as long as it was porn). Filled them out with his name, had them sent to the squadron.
Guy cried his butt off that it was going to cost him all kinds of money. Everyone really laughed, wondering why the fool didn't just send the bills back, canceling. We all figured he really did want the mags.

Measure Man
05-10-2013, 07:41 PM
I heard of something similar, years ago. Seems this guy was a real jerk, no one liked him. So, someone went and got subscription cards from every porn mag they could find ( gay, straight, didn't matter, as long as it was porn). Filled them out with his name, had them sent to the squadron.
Guy cried his butt off that it was going to cost him all kinds of money. Everyone really laughed, wondering why the fool didn't just send the bills back, canceling. We all figured he really did want the mags.

My friends and I used to do that to each other in middle school.

The upside is you usually got one free magazine out of it.

drc100882
05-10-2013, 09:00 PM
We had an airman a few years ago who would just wander around the building. He'd visit different offices and steal candy from their candy dishes and bring it back up to our candy dish. He'd just keep pulling candy out of his pockets...it was really strange. It was a daily thing for him. I think he had some kind of rotation every day so he'd only hit each office once a week... but dang. It was really weird.


I am not the NCOIC nor his supervisor...but I do outrank him and I am about to throat punch him.

He definitely needs a throat punch. Or just follow him around and ask him where he's doing. Tell him he needs an escort now when he leaves the office... People (not you) can't keep bitching about bad NCOs when shit like this happens and then just throw him into another shop to fix their immediate problem.

Mr. Happy
05-10-2013, 09:33 PM
Hate to say it, but I think the "disappearing" act is more prevalent amongst SNCOs than NCOs. Especially a MSgt with no hope of or desire to ever make SMSgt. Pretty much nothing to lose and just on for the ride.

I worked around a GS-12 once who was a total waste, and he would go take 2 to 3 hour dumps (that is naps on the pot). In the GS world, it's actually trickier for them to vanish I think since their time is so accountable; plus they are always in each other's business.

If you work in shops associated with the flight line, it's difficult to be OFO around the base. In that environment, your co-workers will definitely notice and call you out.

The worse offenders like I said though are your ROAD MSgts.

BOSS302
05-10-2013, 09:55 PM
The worse offenders like I said though are your ROAD MSgts.

The worst offenders are actually GS-11 Civilian Airmen. They are too busy doing booster club events, taking college classes on government time, and being part of Civilian Airman professional organizations such as "Ultimate 11/12". Meanwhile, the Staff and Tech Sergeants are having to pick-up the slack and do double-time just to keep the Air Force running. It's quite pathetic.

DocBones
05-11-2013, 12:05 AM
Why not call the attention of a superior to this problem? He gets written up and goes to NJP, he might straighten up and fly right. The next time, if he doesn't, he gets charged with being AWOL, maybe?

Tak
05-11-2013, 12:21 AM
Why not call the attention of a superior to this problem? He gets written up and goes to NJP, he might straighten up and fly right. The next time, if he doesn't, he gets charged with being AWOL, maybe?

NJP?!?.....
http://youtu.be/MngiPtthMJc

imported_Shove_your_stupid_meeting
05-11-2013, 12:41 AM
I worked for a MSgt many years ago that I would swear was gone at least 4 hours a day. I was convinced she was taking classes during duty hours considering how often she came back with school books in her arms, but nobody ever seemed to call her on it. She's a CMSgt now.

Tak
05-11-2013, 12:43 AM
I worked for a MSgt many years ago that I would swear was gone at least 4 hours a day. I was convinced she was taking classes during duty hours considering how often she came back with school books in her arms, but nobody ever seemed to call her on it. She's a CMSgt now.

guess the required education paid off

BRUWIN
05-11-2013, 03:55 AM
Everybody has their days. I was so fed up with work just before retirement that one day I left at about 10.00am and drove to the shore on the other side of base, grabbed my fishing pole from the car, and stood on a rock fishing...on a blues Monday. I slipped off the rock after awhile and I was knee deep in salt water. I went back to work with my shoes squishing every step I took and salt water stains appearing on my blues trousers when they would get close to drying out. I kept wetting paper towels tying to rub the salt out but it would again appear when they dried. I finally admitted what happened to CC secretary when she kept asking what happened to my trousers and she couldn't stop laughing at me. I'm sure she probably mentioned it to the CC but he was the type to also get a good laugh out of it as well.

Quixotic
05-11-2013, 04:15 AM
We had a supervisor once who would leave his spare keys and hat on his desk and then take off for several hours, if not all day.

We caught on, no car in the lot, keys and hat in the trash. THREE TIMES!

Then we actively and secretly started to undermine every thing he did... it was some of the most fun I've had...

Tak
05-11-2013, 09:25 PM
Young airman are quick to go running and tell on their leaders.
Can't handle criticism or an aSs kicking

Absinthe Anecdote
05-11-2013, 10:07 PM
We had a supervisor once who would leave his spare keys and hat on his desk and then take off for several hours, if not all day.

We caught on, no car in the lot, keys and hat in the trash. THREE TIMES!

Then we actively and secretly started to undermine every thing he did... it was some of the most fun I've had...

People who office ghost are vulnerable to a wide range of mischief like that.

I always used to like making a big mess on their desk; you can even take stale moldy food from the break room refrigerator and put it on their desk.

Another fun thing is taking a long obvious look at your watch every time you say hello to an office ghost.

Shaken1976
05-12-2013, 02:38 AM
Everybody has their days. I was so fed up with work just before retirement that one day I left at about 10.00am and drove to the shore on the other side of base, grabbed my fishing pole from the car, and stood on a rock fishing...on a blues Monday. I slipped off the rock after awhile and I was knee deep in salt water. I went back to work with my shoes squishing every step I took and salt water stains appearing on my blues trousers when they would get close to drying out. I kept wetting paper towels tying to rub the salt out but it would again appear when they dried. I finally admitted what happened to CC secretary when she kept asking what happened to my trousers and she couldn't stop laughing at me. I'm sure she probably mentioned it to the CC but he was the type to also get a good laugh out of it as well.

This guy is new to the workcenter and just disappears. He also isn't a chief or anywhere near retirement. It is a small shop so when someone is gone it is hard to miss.

DocBones
05-12-2013, 05:24 PM
Jump this sucker when you meet him off base, and have a crony that will say that he started the fight. Between punchs, counsel him on not being a ghost commando.

I don't think that he'll prefer charges against you, since the evidentiary part of the trial would be the telling of the counselling that you did.

No one wants to blackguard himself!

And he'll learn a valuable lesson. No one gets away with too much skating!

jondstewart
05-12-2013, 11:52 PM
We have a new NCO in our shop. Sent to us from another shop. Rumor had it that he would just vanish. I thought...I will give it a week and see how it goes. Wednesday the civilians in the shop started a stopwatch to see how often he is out. I shit you not...3 hours 21 minutes not including lunch. So that means about half the day he was gone wandering around and no one knew where he was.

Then I told him yesterday that if he was leaving the office he needed to let someone know if he was going to be gone more than a few minutes. Well...he told one of the civilians who is about to retire and doesn't really care. Yesterday he went to the bank, shoppette, and then another shoppette visit. Total time out of office not including lunch 3 hours 13 minutes.

Today we are already over 2 hours not including lunch.

I am not the NCOIC nor his supervisor...but I do outrank him and I am about to throat punch him.

Rant over.

Anyone else have a vanishing NCO/Airman/GS?

My God, if I had done this crap as an NCO, I would have been kicked out with a BCD or if the supervisor was being really nice, maybe received a 2 EPR!

It's okay, his day is coming. He'd do best as a Government civilian, because most in the private sector would knock his dick in the dirt or fire him on the spot for that

2G071
05-13-2013, 06:58 PM
At my first base (USAFE - 1980’s):

NCO 1 - 19 year SSgt (had a line number for TSgt a few years prior but lost it to a DUI). In the time I worked with him, he never came in prior to 0830, took less than a 2 hour lunch, or stayed pass 1500. Most of the time, he would sleep at his desk or his “nest” in the upstairs warehouse or in his car parked a few buildings down as to not be seen by visitors using our front door. Both NCOICs just acted like he didn’t exist - I never saw him touch any parts or have paperwork in his hands. If awake, he would answer the phone but if the call required work, he would had it over to someone else. When he retired about 6 months later, there wasn’t a ceremony because he couldn’t fit into his blues at this point and wasn’t about to buy a new set just to wear one day.

NCO 2 - 18 year SSgt. I didn’t meet this guy until about a month after I arrived and that was only because he came by to get his LES out of his inbox. He was married to local national who owned a flower shop and he was her full time delivery man. I later learned that this guy was so incompetent that he was excused from even coming to work and his name wasn't found on the recall roster. Retiring at 20, he also declined a ceremony, but it was because no one in the squadron (outside our office) knew who he was.

SomeRandomGuy
05-13-2013, 07:06 PM
At my first base (USAFE - 1980’s):

NCO 1 - 19 year SSgt (had a line number for TSgt a few years prior but lost it to a DUI). In the time I worked with him, he never came in prior to 0830, took less than a 2 hour lunch, or stayed pass 1500. Most of the time, he would sleep at his desk or his “nest” in the upstairs warehouse or in his car parked a few buildings down as to not be seen by visitors using our front door. Both NCOICs just acted like he didn’t exist - I never saw him touch any parts or have paperwork in his hands. If awake, he would answer the phone but if the call required work, he would had it over to someone else. When he retired about 6 months later, there wasn’t a ceremony because he couldn’t fit into his blues at this point and wasn’t about to buy a new set just to wear one day.

NCO 2 - 18 year SSgt. I didn’t meet this guy until about a month after I arrived and that was only because he came by to get his LES out of his inbox. He was married to local national who owned a flower shop and he was her full time delivery man. I later learned that this guy was so incompetent that he was excused from even coming to work and his name wasn't found on the recall roster. Retiring at 20, he also declined a ceremony, but it was because no one in the squadron (outside our office) knew who he was.

These two stories reminded me of a situation I saw one time. About 4 years ago I was working the customer service counter at finance. A SSgt (yes a 20 year SSgt in 2009) stopped by to outprocess for retirement. I pulled up her pay record and noticed that she was still recieiving combat zone tax exclusion. When I asked her when she got back from the desert she said it was about 4 months prior. I asked if she did a voucher and she seemed confused. I asked when she was starting termnial leave she still seemed confused (thought she already was on terminal). She had not completed any paperwork or done any outprocessing. After several questions I found out that after she returned from deployment her squadron basically just told her to start terminal leave. The only problem was she did not have that much leave but she had already taken it. Basically, she was so worthless her squadron deployed her for 6 months then when she returned they said screw it you can just leave now if you want. It was a huge mess trying to clean that up especially considering she had to repay the leave she didn't have and also her debt from combat pay. Plus since she was a SSgt she did not have an option to stay longer than 20 in order to earn back the leave or pay off her debt.

TJMAC77SP
05-13-2013, 07:08 PM
Eskan Village (Saudi Arabia), January 1991. Senior NCO of the SP unit.......nicknamed 'MOPP 4 B****er' because everytime the siren went off he was no where to be found. At one point just as the ground offensive was beginning I was in Central Security Control (the command post for SP operations on the 'base') when the senior controller told me he thought this MSgt had gone home. He hadn't seen him once in over a month.

Great leadership.

Guy got a Bronze Star upon our return. Him and our OIC. They only BSMs I have ever heard of being given out in a private ceremony with no publicity in the local base paper.

TJMAC77SP
05-13-2013, 07:25 PM
Everybody has their days. I was so fed up with work just before retirement that one day I left at about 10.00am and drove to the shore on the other side of base, grabbed my fishing pole from the car, and stood on a rock fishing...on a blues Monday. I slipped off the rock after awhile and I was knee deep in salt water. I went back to work with my shoes squishing every step I took and salt water stains appearing on my blues trousers when they would get close to drying out. I kept wetting paper towels tying to rub the salt out but it would again appear when they dried. I finally admitted what happened to CC secretary when she kept asking what happened to my trousers and she couldn't stop laughing at me. I'm sure she probably mentioned it to the CC but he was the type to also get a good laugh out of it as well.

I pulled a disappearing act one day as a TSgt when a SSgt who was completely undeserving got STEP'd to TSgt (he played golf with the CC). It pissed off every NCO in the unit. Not that I didn’t like the guy but there were at least 5 guys I could think of that actually deserved it based on actual AF work. I left a note on my boss's desk telling him I was in a putt-putt tournament and was leaving early. It was a Friday. He asked me the following Monday how the tournament went (completely serious). Sometimes the message just gets lost.

ConfusedAirman
05-13-2013, 07:27 PM
Have someone he doesn't know follow him for a day (hopefully one of his good, long time-off days). Sure it wastes someone else's time but give you everything you need. Good chance you will find him going to more than the shoppette. Then casually confront him the next day and ask what he was doing the previous day. Good chance you will then catch him lying which is when it can get really interesting.

20+Years
05-13-2013, 07:28 PM
CBPO baby. You older folks know what I'm talking about.

For the rest: Back in the 90's the MPS was called CBPO. The excuse to leave the office was, "I'm going to CBPO". Which really meant - Commisary/Bx/Post Office.

TJMAC77SP
05-13-2013, 07:51 PM
CBPO baby. You older folks know what I'm talking about.

For the rest: Back in the 90's the MPS was called CBPO. The excuse to leave the office was, "I'm going to CBPO". Which really meant - Commisary/Bx/Post Office.

I have always hated sign out boards but once had a Chief who loved them. My boss resisted as long as he could but was finally forced to put one up. The Chief was tickled but got quickly frustrated when he would come looking for my boss or one of us NCO’s and the board was annotated FOB, or MFG, or FOOB.
As a Chief he didn’t want to ask what the abbreviations meant since, after all he was a Chief. Finally after about three weeks he asked my boss what they meant.

FOB = Fucking Off on-Base
MFG = Mission for God
FOOB = Fucking Off Off-Base

The white board was kept up but never used again.

TIMBERLAND722
05-14-2013, 02:04 AM
At once or multiple trips? We had a guy - now discharged - who used to fall asleep in there. You'd see these feet sticking out from under the stall door and hear snoring.

That, Sir, is called a "Poop Nap".

TIMBERLAND722
05-14-2013, 02:12 AM
"I also had a pointless job that if I did what I was supposed to actually interferred with the mission instead of helping it."

...So you were in QA?

Tak
05-14-2013, 02:23 AM
I have always hated sign out boards but once had a Chief who loved them. My boss resisted as long as he could but was finally forced to put one up. The Chief was tickled but got quickly frustrated when he would come looking for my boss or one of us NCO’s and the board was annotated FOB, or MFG, or FOOB.
As a Chief he didn’t want to ask what the abbreviations meant since, after all he was a Chief. Finally after about three weeks he asked my boss what they meant.

FOB = Fucking Off on-Base
MFG = Mission for God
FOOB = Fucking Off Off-Base

The white board was kept up but never used again.

"Community Guidelines

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SomeRandomGuy
05-14-2013, 02:31 AM
"I also had a pointless job that if I did what I was supposed to actually interferred with the mission instead of helping it."

...So you were in QA?

Worse than QA actually. My job was to print documents out of an electronic system and file them. After 90 days if there was no action I had to email the person who originally requested the document and ask them if they still wanted it. 9 times out of 10 they still wanted it (of course they requested it) and they were actually waiting on someone else in my office. This was the point were I would shred the document that I originally printed of of the electronic system. No joke this was my job for over a year before I submitted an IDEA to the program.

Tak
05-14-2013, 02:41 AM
Worse than QA actually. My job was to print documents out of an electronic system and file them. After 90 days if there was no action I had to email the person who originally requested the document and ask them if they still wanted it. 9 times out of 10 they still wanted it (of course they requested it) and they were actually waiting on someone else in my office. This was the point were I would shred the document that I originally printed of of the electronic system. No joke this was my job for over a year before I submitted an IDEA to the program.

my job in wing safety was looked at as worse than QA...
Actually we had to inspect QA, the look on their face when I
walked in was priceless.

imported_Shove_your_stupid_meeting
05-14-2013, 02:42 AM
Worse than QA actually. My job was to print documents out of an electronic system and file them. After 90 days if there was no action I had to email the person who originally requested the document and ask them if they still wanted it. 9 times out of 10 they still wanted it (of course they requested it) and they were actually waiting on someone else in my office. This was the point were I would shred the document that I originally printed of of the electronic system. No joke this was my job for over a year before I submitted an IDEA to the program.


Another example of why I never want to go back to that life. Eff that mess.

Tak
05-14-2013, 02:47 AM
Worse than QA actually. My job was to print documents out of an electronic system and file them. After 90 days if there was no action I had to email the person who originally requested the document and ask them if they still wanted it. 9 times out of 10 they still wanted it (of course they requested it) and they were actually waiting on someone else in my office. This was the point were I would shred the document that I originally printed of of the electronic system. No joke this was my job for over a year before I submitted an IDEA to the program.

my job in wing safety was looked at as worse than QA...
Actually we had to inspect QA, the look on their face when I
walked in was priceless.

SomeRandomGuy
05-14-2013, 02:53 AM
Another example of why I never want to go back to that life. Eff that mess.

The funniest part was when I showed them how I could use the systems to do the job of all 10 people in the section by myself with no printing. Did I get a reward from the IDEA program? Nope, I got kicked out of the section. I was told I was no longer needed because I refused to do the job properly. The section continued as normal and still exists to this day (only at that specific base though). The Air Force would love to have your ideas on saving money. They will never implement any of them but they would still love to have them.

RobotChicken
05-14-2013, 03:57 AM
:ranger WTF is a 'NCO'???:kev