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View Full Version : Hemroid cream wraps is illegal so you all best cut it out!!Here is more thats illegal



Absinthe Anecdote
04-07-2013, 10:12 PM
When did you go all “Vanilla Ice” with your vernacular?

PT GOD
04-07-2013, 10:20 PM
the first thing I do when I measure someones waist is lean in real close and sniff up and down their stomach and sides, if I smell the slightest bit of preparation H the test is over, auto failure, then I push at their sides and pulls out on the skin, if it feels the slightest bit wrong, auto failure and i send them home. yes most of them complain saying I dont have the power to do that. WRONG and who is gonna tell me otherwise...I be like.dude, do you even see my arms and shoulders right now..who is gonna tell me i can't do whatever i want, now get the F out, for I throw you out.

Also, what I see people do, on sit-ups they slide their ass as close to thier ankles as they can, since the reg states elbows my touch thigh, when they do it like this, they only have to move about 1 inch. Now sure, according to the "reg" doing this is ok, but according to PT GOD, no..it aint, so I tell them on da spot their test is oer and get out you just failed the situp portion BIATCH!!!

Situps is the hardest to cheat with me, i know the reg says to bend arms at 90degrees, but since thats hard to see when people moving fast, i make them wear these aluminum buttons on their pt shirt, and when they hit the floor they make a click sound, thats how i know you went all the way down, doing that, i only have to watch to see if you lock your arms out on the way up and if you didnt...it dont count...

My goal is to fail at least 60% of every class, so far i've reached that goal 90% of the time.

Absinthe Anecdote
04-07-2013, 10:36 PM
When did you go all “Vanilla Ice” with your vernacular?

Robert F. Dorr
04-07-2013, 11:11 PM
A reader of a certain opinion column in a certain newspaper mailed me a container of Preparation H a couple of years ago. I wonder what the message might have been ... ? If you're out there, please include a return address next time.

KellyinAvon
04-07-2013, 11:39 PM
Hey PT GOD! Ask about testing for Preparation H in random urinalysis.

JD2780
04-07-2013, 11:46 PM
Hey PT dork, I'm a fatty, I can't come close to tithe standard for my waist. I do however, max out everything else and only have to test once a year because I use preparation H. Boooyaaa. Loser. Fit to fight hahahaha. My tubby ass is the same as yours on eprs. Fire wall 5s biotch!!!!

RobotChicken
04-08-2013, 12:02 AM
:hat Have a hen house 'coop' full of 'chicks' that say..."Robot Chicken can do the Funky Chicken' here anytime"!! Thank you; thank you very much! (so much for a Chicken :censoredtape measure) :lock1

RobotChicken
04-08-2013, 12:27 AM
:hat That'll work!!

KellyinAvon
04-08-2013, 12:43 AM
:hat Have a hen house 'coop' full of 'chicks' that say..."Robot Chicken can do the Funky Chicken' here anytime"!! Thank you; thank you very much! (so much for a Chicken :censoredtape measure) :lock1

Where are you? The Chicken Ranch??

PickYourBattles
04-08-2013, 07:15 AM
Hey PT dork, I'm a fatty, I can't come close to tithe standard for my waist. I do however, max out everything else and only have to test once a year because I use preparation H. Boooyaaa. Loser. Fit to fight hahahaha. My tubby ass is the same as yours on eprs. Fire wall 5s biotch!!!!

Did you come back into the Air Force after all this time?

JD2780
04-08-2013, 10:36 AM
Did you come back into the Air Force after all this time?

Nope just feeding a troll a bit. I'm done with AF forever. Except going to the commissary and holding up the lines.

imported_SergeantJack
04-08-2013, 06:10 PM
You actually go back to the base? Man, you must miss it.

JD2780
04-08-2013, 06:24 PM
You actually go back to the base? Man, you must miss it.

Don't have a choice. My son plays baseball on base. My wife is still AD. I miss being a TACP. I don't miss the AF. I laugh most of the folks on base.

Robert F. Dorr
04-09-2013, 12:34 AM
I'm belatedly starting to get the general idea here but tell me, please: What do you do with the Saran-Wrap?

JD2780
04-09-2013, 12:39 AM
1 lather preparation H around torso
2 wrap torso very tight
3 sleep
4 wake up unwrap and wipe off but don't shower
5 pass PT test.

Robert F. Dorr
04-09-2013, 12:45 AM
1 lather preparation H around torso
2 wrap torso very tight
3 sleep
4 wake up unwrap and wipe off but don't shower
5 pass PT test.

Good grief. Double good grief.

RobotChicken
04-09-2013, 12:48 AM
:hat My litter boxes don't smell that bad!!! MEOWWW!!!!:scared:laser

JD2780
04-09-2013, 01:00 AM
Good grief. Double good grief.

I know of a couple folks that did this when they were close and passed with ease.

Robert F. Dorr
04-09-2013, 03:15 AM
How much advance knowledge do you have of when a waist measurement is going to take place?

tiredretiredE7
04-09-2013, 04:17 AM
Good grief. Double good grief.

RFD,

The sad part is they are serious. I saw people do it before I retired and it actually does shrink down the waist by about 1 inch.

raider8169
04-09-2013, 04:38 AM
Your PT test is normally scheduled way in advance. We schedule here about a month out.

Robert F. Dorr
04-09-2013, 08:50 AM
RFD,

The sad part is they are serious. I saw people do it before I retired and it actually does shrink down the waist by about 1 inch.

Temporarily? Wouldn't mind achieving that goal myself but don't think I'll try it.

JD2780
04-09-2013, 11:30 AM
How much advance knowledge do you have of when a waist measurement is going to take place?

My sq had a policy of scheduling it during the month prior to you going non-current and it had to be completed within the first 2 weeks of that month. You have plenty of time.

RFD I was dead serious what about I posted as far as how people go about doing that.

sandsjames
04-09-2013, 02:44 PM
It happens all the time. There is no way they could ever ban it. How would they prove it? The smell? So I have hemorrhoids. Are they going to send me to the clinic to be examined if they smell the cream?

MACHINE666
04-09-2013, 06:22 PM
Hemorrhoid cream wraps are all the new rage! Just like eating a kimchi taco! Next time you want something **different** for lunch, just go up to a street vendor slinging these tasty treats, and ask for one with extra cream! Yum! Yum! Gimme some!

:D :D :D :D :D