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F4CrewChick
10-12-2012, 09:04 PM
I guess I could start these 'gay-themed' threads on the new "chit-chat" thread but DADT beigg gay-themed itself seems more relevant. I've posted about my thread disappearing from the board with not much response. It disappeared during writing a response to SandJames' question about whether it became tiresome to always identify as the "gay girl" on these threads. My response to him was as follows:

I wasn't criticizing at all. Just a question as I don't have to put up with being identified as part of a specific group. I'd think it would become tiresome after awhile.I didn't think you were necessarily criticizing James, though I have had the 'gay fatigue' POV leveled at me on this forum. (Neg Rep, multiple times and in comments from some in the threads.)
It kinda does get tiring--partly because every time you say it, it's a bit like coming out and you don't know how a people will react--which is why I feel I have to 'stand my ground' as to have being gay perceived by others as, 'no big deal.' People sense weakness and insecurity in others and some will try to exploit that for their own ends.

The reason I posted this thread is because I really enjoyed this film and wanted to share it with others. GLBT themes in the media are not very visible outside of a tragedy or some perceived 'media-worthy' event like DADT, gay parades and such. We ALL need to see and experience as normal images of ourselves in media. Straight people have the privilege daily in multiple arenas but GLBT people not so much.S OMEONE on MTF, probably a lurker, will find something from my posts they may not have access to in their sphere. Yesterday was 'National Coming Out Day' and I heard it over and over as people came out publicy, the fear-factor present in exposing their private selves to public ridicule.

I've reprinted it here because it will disappear into the ether if I don't. I just read a relevant article on "Lesbian Sex Scenes" that answers some questions I think. I'm a bit afraid to add the link for fear of moderation, so I've reprinted a relevant portion of the article (to read it in toto, go to the website "Ask Ellen").


It's hard to believe today, when women argue for and against their favorite lesbian films and compile rival top 10 lists, that not long ago there were no LGBT film festivals, no lesbian and gay sections at the video store, and no books cataloguing queer-themed films. Lesbian sex scenes outside of the porn industry only rarely made it onto the big screen, and when they did, it was likely in some obscure foreign film that played for one weekend at a small art house in New York City.
And then in the early '80s, two very different films — both from straight male directors — hit American theaters, and the standard for lesbian sex scenes in movies changed for good. The first, released in 1982, was a glossy mainstream film from director-screenwriter Robert Towne.Personal Best starred Mariel Hemingway as Chris Cahill, a young athlete who falls in love with teammate Tory Skinner (Patrice Donnelly).
The second, which came out a few months later, was a very different kind of film. Made by indie darling John Sayles, it was the story of an unhappily married faculty wife at a small American college who leaves her husband after she falls in love with another woman. That film wasLianna, and the year was 1983.
Although the sex scenes in both films are tame by today's standards, they clearly and overtly showed women having sex with each other on-screen — something even most of those arty foreign films only hinted at.
We're going to take a look at the most important sex scenes between women in movie history — not always the best or the hottest (although we've got those, too), but those that broke new ground in their depictions of women having sex with other women. We'll start with a sort of golden age of lesbian sex that began in 1996, come up to the present, and then take a look at groundbreaking films of the early '80s, and even the roots of lesbian sex in films going back to 1929.
These are films that, for the most part, had a major American theatrical release, even if it was of limited scope, with a few groundbreaking foreign, art house, cable and LGBT film festival movies as well. These criteria are admittedly somewhat subjective, so if you feel we've missed a film that did something new or important with its depiction of sex between women, let us know.

RS6405
10-12-2012, 09:30 PM
Being gay is who you are Chick. No apologies. Right now it is being treated as something different. Yes, you get the gay fatigue, but Tthat has shaped people's view on the subject.

Plus you got the guys eating out of your hands with some of your stories lol.

(I had to pull this off my phone since I was going to post it till the thread disapeared)

F4CrewChick
10-12-2012, 09:33 PM
Being gay is who you are Chick. No apologies. Right now it is being treated as something different. Yes, you get the gay fatigue, but Tthat has shaped people's view on the subject.

Plus you got the guys eating out of your hands with some of your stories lol.

(I had to pull this off my phone since I was going to post it till the thread disapeared)RS, you make it such a pleasure. I am so glad to call you one of my 'straight allies.' Thanks.

RS6405
10-12-2012, 10:01 PM
RS, you make it such a pleasure. I am so glad to call you one of my 'straight allies.' Thanks.

You are more than welcome!!!

sandsjames
10-13-2012, 01:35 AM
Interesting posts.

And, again, I just want to make crystal clear that my question wasn't about the gay community, it was about you (F4) specifically. I was concerned for you because every thread you post in, somebody makes a joke or comment about you being gay. I was concerned that maybe this was bothering you or getting annoying for you as you probably would like to have a regular conversation once in awhile without it always coming back to being gay. I had no ulterior motive whatsoever. I guess maybe I was attempting to be overly PC by worrying about someone from a minority group, one I'm not even a member of, getting offended by others comments.

It wasn't about the film, it wasn't about the community, it was about trying to have you back, as I've become quite fond of you and your posts.

Rizzo77
10-13-2012, 02:48 AM
Since I've seen this on a couple of threads, I am really curious. Without going into tremendous detail, as that probably led to the disappearance of a thread, what was it that was removed? A reference to a movie? Even if the subject matter might be sensitive to some members, I'd like to see, so I can judge for myself. Any type of censorship removes my choice to decide.

CrustySMSgt
10-13-2012, 04:59 AM
I've enjoyed getting to know you F4CC and cracked up at the "gay fatigue" comment... but I can see how being labeled can be tiresome. My sister has been out for years now and recently blogged about her coming out, inspired by a conversation she had with someone who was "standing with their hand on the (inside) closet door" (my words, not hers lol)

Can't get to the link here at work, but when I get back to my room later, I'll send you the link.

You do a great job of just being you.

F4CrewChick
10-13-2012, 05:16 AM
@James: I appreciate your care and maintenance. Being "PC" by definition (for the most part) is about caring enough about the people and world around you to be sensitive to what may be perceived as hurtful or mean. My skin is calloused and thick in the area of GLBT things. Your acceptance (rather than tolerance, as it is intolerable being "tolerated") is immeasurably valuable to me and I thank you for it. :)

@Crusty:You have come by your support honestly--through a family member. I enjoy reading your comments and feel happy to call you "friend." Thanks Senior.

F4CrewChick
10-13-2012, 05:27 AM
Since I've seen this on a couple of threads, I am really curious. Without going into tremendous detail, as that probably led to the disappearance of a thread, what was it that was removed? A reference to a movie? Even if the subject matter might be sensitive to some members, I'd like to see, so I can judge for myself. Any type of censorship removes my choice to decide.
So Riz, I posted the trailer from my favorite new film, from Sweden, "Kyss Mig." Didn't you comment on the thread? I also posted a pic of my Swedish-girlfriend-from-the-80's who's still a friend. Everything went poof. I'll try to post it again.


http://youtu.be/gCIGwgntcD8

Rizzo77
10-13-2012, 04:55 PM
I thought that's what it was about. I don't see what's any big deal.

RobotChicken
10-14-2012, 07:17 AM
:spy 'F4CC'; I for one support you and DO NOT CARE if you 'are what you are'!! Beauty is only skin deep,so hang in there! RC

USAF-Controller
10-16-2012, 05:59 PM
Wait, You're gay F4? Just kidding. Personally, I just think of you as "this girl I know from the message board" Gay or straight doesnt even register.

F4CrewChick
10-16-2012, 10:25 PM
Thank you RC and AF-Con, you guys make it apleasure to get my "military fix" on MTF. Funny how you miss it when you're gone after bitching about the miltary for so long...

USAF-Controller
10-17-2012, 04:13 PM
Thank you RC and AF-Con, you guys make it apleasure to get my "military fix" on MTF. Funny how you miss it when you're gone after bitching about the miltary for so long...

You could always pay someone to yell at you while you exercise....

F4CrewChick
10-23-2012, 04:23 AM
Not that anyone cares... but I share my small personal victories and I sent a note to the producer of "Kyss Mig" (the Swedish film I linked here) telling her what a great job she did on the film, and she sent me a note back, thanking me for my input and the word 'love' was used...I swear I'm considering moving to Sweden after residency.

As to inform, I had the avocation for about 10 years of working in GLBT film production, which might explain my ever-present posting on the topic.

Producer Josefine Tengblad (L) at a 'Kyss mig" event.

2886

F4CrewChick
10-23-2012, 08:19 AM
So what's the deal now? Do edits in already-posted threads just disappear?

RS6405
10-23-2012, 10:42 AM
What happen chick? Or I should ask what disappeared?

F4CrewChick
10-23-2012, 09:24 PM
So what's the deal now? Do edits in already-posted threads just disappear?Actually starting to get a little paranoid. Passive-aggressive behavior is so not cool. Whatevs...

MilPhD
10-23-2012, 10:08 PM
ATTENTION seeking. On the Internet no one needs to know about your sexual exploits, activities, preferences, unless you disclose them. I believe those who continually focus on their sexual preferences online, especially gays and lesbians, do so for one simple reason, ATTENTION.

I would relate this activity to those of young males seeking attention by publically stating their sexual exploits with the ladies.

(especially when they create their own threads and topics on the subject.)

Rusty Jones
10-23-2012, 10:55 PM
What's up, Lennix?

RS6405
10-23-2012, 11:49 PM
ATTENTION seeking. On the Internet no one needs to know about your sexual exploits, activities, preferences, unless you disclose them. I believe those who continually focus on their sexual preferences online, especially gays and lesbians, do so for one simple reason, ATTENTION.

I would relate this activity to those of young males seeking attention by publically stating their sexual exploits with the ladies.

(especially when they create their own threads and topics on the subject.)

Mil- stop your hate, you might actually be a better Christian for it. Until then you are nothing more than a judgmental hypocrite based on dogma that is admittedly known to inconsistent, incomplete, and inaccurate.

So why would your characterization or opinion on this subject matter?

F4CrewChick
10-24-2012, 12:28 AM
Well MilPhD, you realize you are not required to pay any attention whatsoever. While you have a point about the attention-seeking (I've been kind of socially isolated of late), you needing to write about how much it bugs you smacks of projection.

Heal thyself doctor.

E4RUMOR
06-24-2013, 08:51 AM
I've seen something similar happen in real life about six years ago. We had a female Corporal begin flirting with a female Lance Corporal in our unit. The Lance Corporal was married to a male Corporal, and from all appearances and body language, they had a great marriage. Seems the female Corporal didn't give a crap the Lance Corporal was married.

The two women began having an affair.

Long story short, the Couple ended up getting divorced. This was during DADT. Everyone knew, and no one said shit.

I had a real problem with it because the guy was a friend of mine. Granted it takes two to tango, but the Female Corporal should have stayed away and had a little more respect for their marriage.

Some would argue you can't stand in the way of love, but I questioned whether it was love when that same Corporal (who was promoted to Sergeant) began flirting with my Fiance who was also an active duty Marine. And this was during the course of her relationship with the woman whose marriage she assisted in destroying.

Unfaithfulness is not limited to whether you are straight or gay. It happens in both communities. I'm wondering if anyone has an independent source as to which community, however, fosters more tendency to propagate infidelity.

As much as this video clip exemplifies the power of love between two people, the underlining message still promotes the jacked up behaviors of lying, cheating, and hurting others to fulfill ones own personal desires.

Like I said, it happens in both communities. I think it's wrong in both communities.

End of story is that the Sergeant and Lance Corporal ended up cheating on one another with MEN. They are not together anymore, and the Sergeant (who is out of the Corps) has been in two relationships and is on her third since.



Why would this be your new favorite movie?

E4RUMOR
06-24-2013, 01:14 PM
3100

Hmmmmmmmmm.

RS6405
06-25-2013, 11:32 AM
In honor of F4CrewChick.... Because you know it is the truth!