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Pavegunner72
10-03-2012, 11:04 PM
Ready, go.

Vrake
10-03-2012, 11:17 PM
He loves the Navy and sells Navy related accessories.

seatmech2412
10-03-2012, 11:25 PM
Vrake once knocked a water fountain off the wall while running from the TI..... and then had sex with a female TI while on base liberty after he impressed her earlier that week by power tripping on a fellow basic trainee......

Shrike
10-03-2012, 11:30 PM
Vrake once knocked a water fountain off the wall while running from the TI..... and then had sex with a female TI while on base liberty after he impressed her earlier that week by power tripping on a fellow basic trainee......

Seatmech2412 was arrested once for trying to sell Flintstone's vitamins to some Chinese diplomats who thought they were buying Spanish Fly.

raider8169
10-03-2012, 11:47 PM
Seatmech2412 was arrested once for trying to sell Flintstone's vitamins to some Chinese diplomats who thought they were buying Spanish Fly.

Shrike, woud hook up with the chick in his avatar and make her keep her shirt on.

Banned
10-04-2012, 12:23 AM
raider8169 would spend his paycheck on underage hookers in his barracks room.

Whoops my bad I was supposed to tell a LIE.

Absinthe Anecdote
10-04-2012, 12:24 AM
Shrike, woud hook up with the chick in his avatar and make her keep her shirt on.

Raider8169 likes to dress in women's clothing and hang around in bars.

So does Joe but they are both lumberjacks and that makes it okay.

bb stacker
10-04-2012, 12:24 AM
Shrike, woud hook up with the chick in his avatar and make her keep her shirt on.

was nominated best supporting actor in the kinky kelly bestiality series

Absinthe Anecdote
10-04-2012, 12:33 AM
was nominated best supporting actor in the kinky kelly bestiality series

Bb stacker lost his virginity to Rusty Jones.

KellyinAvon
10-04-2012, 12:35 AM
was nominated best supporting actor in the kinky kelly bestiality series

bb stacker is an intellectual, prefers earl grey tea to ammo bowls, and prefers documentary films to low-brow fare such as Animal House.

Vrake
10-04-2012, 12:40 AM
Kelly is In Amway not Avon.

Shrike
10-04-2012, 12:41 AM
Kelly is Not in Avon but Amway.

VRAKE's name is short for "virtual rake", a lawn care simulator available for the PS3

Absinthe Anecdote
10-04-2012, 12:44 AM
VRAKE's name is short for "virtual rake", a lawn care simulator available for the PS3

Watches Antiques Roadshow and drinks apple juice.

Absinthe Anecdote
10-04-2012, 12:44 AM
VRAKE's name is short for "virtual rake", a lawn care simulator available for the PS3

Shrike Watches Antiques Roadshow and drinks apple juice.

jaypee
10-04-2012, 02:20 AM
AA -- likes to toss my salad

Vrake
10-04-2012, 02:45 AM
AA -- likes to toss my salad

Can come with a funny post.

err pees on said salad.

tiredretiredE7
10-04-2012, 03:41 AM
Joe and PYB are intelligent.

sandsjames
10-04-2012, 03:44 AM
Joe and PYB are intelligent.

tired told a lie

Jamethon
10-04-2012, 03:50 AM
tired told a lie

SJ bobs for apples in the toilet... and he likes it!

F16TSgt
10-04-2012, 07:36 AM
Jamethon bought 6 50" flat screens, all new office furniture and a popcorn machine with this year's fallout money, and he wore a flightsuit while doing it.

VOLZZZMAN
10-04-2012, 07:48 AM
Jamethon bought 6 50" flat screens, all new office furniture and a popcorn machine with this year's fallout money, and he wore a flightsuit while doing it.

Loves nonners

Shrike
10-04-2012, 11:19 AM
Loves nonners

VOLZZZMAN's screen name used to be "VolZooZZTopFanMan" but he lost most of the letters in a pot-limit Omaha game to Annie Duke.

iReddit
10-04-2012, 11:38 AM
VOLZZZMAN's screen name used to be "VolZooZZTopFanMan" but he lost most of the letters in a pot-limit Omaha game to Annie Duke.

MAkes women take the lotion out the basket and put the lotion on the skin or get the hose again. Plus, he coreographed the Gangnam Style video.

js7799
10-04-2012, 11:45 AM
MAkes women take the lotion out the basket and put the lotion on the skin or get the hose again. Plus, he coreographed the Gangnam Style video.

He didn't really read it.

SomeRandomGuy
10-04-2012, 11:56 AM
He didn't really read it.

JS799 once bought a hooker on a TDY. The best $2 he ever spent!

iReddit
10-04-2012, 12:03 PM
JS799 once bought a hooker on a TDY. The best $2 he ever spent!
Easiest $2 SomeRandomGuy earned.

SomeRandomGuy
10-04-2012, 12:21 PM
Easiest $2 SomeRandomGuy earned.

iReddit was the guy who got his penis amputed by the VA (see other thread). A little bitter maybe?

insidiousbookworm
10-04-2012, 12:35 PM
iReddit was the guy who got his penis amputed by the VA (see other thread). A little bitter maybe?

SomeRandomGuy once earned a Bronze Star by dual-wielding Contracting and Finance duties in a "combat" zone.

js7799
10-04-2012, 12:41 PM
iReddit was the guy who got his penis amputed by the VA (see other thread). A little bitter maybe?


He hates books. In fact, he doesn't even know how to read.

Floridaboy
10-04-2012, 12:48 PM
Helps people cheat on Fit to Fight for a price.

BRUWIN
10-04-2012, 12:53 PM
Helps people cheat on Fit to Fight for a price.


Lost his virginity on a Florida beach with a passed out spring breaker

SomeRandomGuy
10-04-2012, 01:01 PM
Lost his virginity on a Florida beach with a passed out spring breaker

Is not, and never was a Chief. Just a 14 year old boy with a keyboard and a mission.

BRUWIN
10-04-2012, 01:03 PM
Is not, and never was a Chief. Just a 14 year old boy with a keyboard and a mission.

Feels threatened by articulate, good looking Chiefs

RS6405
10-04-2012, 01:17 PM
Feels threatened by articulate, good looking Chiefs

Secretly yearns to run in the swiss alps and sing the Sound of Music while in drag

iReddit
10-04-2012, 02:22 PM
Secretly yearns to run in the swiss alps and sing the Sound of Music while in drag


Wears skinny jeans and has a handlebar mustache

Absinthe Anecdote
10-04-2012, 02:29 PM
Wears skinny jeans and has a handlebar mustache

Didn't read it and couldn't understand it even if he did.

EOMFD/GFYM8
10-04-2012, 03:16 PM
Didn't read it and couldn't understand it even if he did.

Drank a bottle of erroneously-labeled Crème de Menthe ice cream topping, became intoxicated through the placebo effect, and now tells amusing vignettes about his experiences, still unaware that he's never had a drop of absinthe.

BRUWIN
10-04-2012, 03:28 PM
Drank a bottle of erroneously-labeled Crème de Menthe ice cream topping, became intoxicated through the placebo effect, and now tells amusing vignettes about his experiences, still unaware that he's never had a drop of absinthe.

Found the word "vignettes' while looking up how to spell Viagra and was dying to find a use for it.

Absinthe Anecdote
10-04-2012, 03:31 PM
Found the word "vignettes' while looking up how to spell Viagra and was dying to find a use for it.

Has no need what so ever for Viagra... All he has to do is think about some aircrew dude in a flight suit sitting at a desk.

Shrike
10-04-2012, 03:32 PM
Absinthe Anecdote turned me into a newt.


I got better, though.

SomeRandomGuy
10-04-2012, 03:32 PM
Drank a bottle of erroneously-labeled Crème de Menthe ice cream topping, became intoxicated through the placebo effect, and now tells amusing vignettes about his experiences, still unaware that he's never had a drop of absinthe.

Pretends like his username has something to do with his job. EOMFD/GFYM8 actually stands for Easy On My Fucking Dick, Go Guck Yourself Mate. The username was inspired by a true story where he got his dick sucked by an australian who used a little too much of the 3 teeth he still had.

BRUWIN
10-04-2012, 03:33 PM
Has no need what so ever for Viagra... All he has to do is think about some aircrew dude in a flight suit sitting at a desk.

Sits in a flight suit at his desk wishing what he said about Bruwin was reality.

BRUWIN
10-04-2012, 03:34 PM
Has no need what so ever for Viagra... All he has to do is think about some aircrew dude in a flight suit sitting at a desk.

Sits in a flight suit at his desk wishing what he said about Bruwin was reality.

Venus
10-04-2012, 03:55 PM
Sits in a flight suit at his desk wishing what he said about Bruwin was reality.

His Wife wears a flightsuit in the bedroom to get him in the mood.

SomeRandomGuy
10-04-2012, 04:14 PM
His Wife wears a flightsuit in the bedroom to get him in the mood.

That is definitly a lie. Flight suits are not authorized to wear unless you are actually flying. Hence the name Flight Suit

imported_DannyJ
10-04-2012, 04:26 PM
Actual name is Robert Paulson. He lives in Pasadena, Ca where he has a wife and two sons; both of whom are employees at his company which produces solid gold sprockets. His personal favorite food is tripe.

Pullinteeth
10-04-2012, 05:06 PM
Actual name is Robert Paulson. He lives in Pasadena, Ca where he has a wife and two sons; both of whom are employees at his company which produces solid gold sprockets. His personal favorite food is tripe.

Thinks BMT is too hard and that trainees really need to have an environment in which they have time to relax and tell their TIs to just chill out for a bit.

imported_chipotleboy
10-04-2012, 05:08 PM
Thinks BMT is too hard and that trainees really need to have an environment in which they have time to relax and tell their TIs to just chill out for a bit.

Moonlights as a dentist off base at an establishment called "The House of Pain"

Absinthe Anecdote
10-04-2012, 05:18 PM
Moonlights as a dentist off base at an establishment called "The House of Pain"

Once put up a giant billboard purporting to be a message from the Environmental Protection Agency that advised citizens to fertilize their lawns with used motor oil.

PickYourBattles
10-04-2012, 05:19 PM
Joe and PYB are intelligent.


tired told a lie

Thanks SJ. If you're lying about Tired telling a lie, then that means you think his statement was true. Very kind of you, I'm flattered. I was going to tell a lie about you, but after that gracious display, I'll save it.

BTW, this post is in no way to be interpreted as me saying I will track you down and expose your identity, or anything like that. No need to report this post as harassment to moderators who will then again ban me, without reading the reported post, simply because you are able to find "harassment" where there is none.

RS6405
10-04-2012, 05:22 PM
Moonlights as a dentist off base at an establishment called "The House of Pain"

Was the inspiration for Danny J avatar

sandsjames
10-04-2012, 05:22 PM
Thanks SJ. If you're lying about Tired telling a lie, then that means you think his statement was true. Very kind of you, I'm flattered. I was going to tell a lie about you, but after that gracious display, I'll save it.

BTW, this post is in no way to be interpreted as me saying I will track you down and expose your identity, or anything like that. No need to report this post as harassment to moderators who will then again ban me, without reading the reported post, simply because you are able to find "harassment" where there is none.

By me telling a lie, I was saying that he was telling the truth about telling a lie. Now don't derail, this is a fun thread.

Absinthe Anecdote
10-04-2012, 05:23 PM
Thanks SJ. If you're lying about Tired telling a lie, then that means you think his statement was true. Very kind of you, I'm flattered. I was going to tell a lie about you, but after that gracious display, I'll save it.

BTW, this post is in no way to be interpreted as me saying I will track you down and expose your identity, or anything like that. No need to report this post as harassment to moderators who will then again ban me, without reading the reported post, simply because you are able to find "harassment" where there is none.


Never gets flustered or a case of sour grapes.

sandsjames
10-04-2012, 05:24 PM
Never gets flustered or a case of sour grapes.

Is never sarcastic in his posts

PickYourBattles
10-04-2012, 05:52 PM
SandsJames is a great American, who could have gotten a job anywhere, but chose the United States Air Force, because he wanted to serve his country. He knows that his oath to the Constitution is important, and that many have risked and died to protect that document. He knows he joined a profession, not just an occupation. He is the epitome of the warrior scholar, who studies that which he puts his life on the line to defend. Given the choice between violating his oath, and having a convenient or successful career, SandsJames says there is absolutely no question he will stand up for America, alone if he has to, because he has joined those who risk for their nation and aren't in it for themselves. When he met his independent, amazingly successful wife, he made it clear that before he could take an oath to be faithful to her, that she had to realize he first he took an oath to be faithful to his nation, and that life of service might mean hard times for them and their family. His wife loved him for that, for the hero that he is, and for his honor. SandsJames is a professional American fighting man, and his nation owes him a great deal.

And SandJames doesn't report posts for "harassment" because he's not an insecure little punk with an internet connection.

Jim
10-04-2012, 06:08 PM
Enjoys one-liners, is easy going, and funny.

WestCoastAR_Crewdog
10-04-2012, 06:13 PM
Enjoys one-liners, is easy going, and funny.

Has been a well-respected member of MTF for years. Has a face and schlong anyone would be envious of. Saves babies, kittens, and the US economy as a hobby.

BRUWIN
10-04-2012, 06:31 PM
Has been a well-respected member of MTF for years. Has a face and schlong anyone would be envious of. Saves babies, kittens, and the US economy as a hobby.

Worked many 12-hour shifts, never whined about it. Best friend works at MPF.

WestCoastAR_Crewdog
10-04-2012, 06:59 PM
Worked many 12-hour shifts, never whined about it. Best friend works at MPF.

I thought these were supposed to be lies Bru...

Floridaboy
10-04-2012, 08:21 PM
Has a Queen poster on his wall at home.

js7799
10-04-2012, 10:37 PM
Has a Queen poster on his wall at home.

Lives in Oregon and is actually a female.

Shrike
10-04-2012, 11:35 PM
Lives in Oregon and is actually a female.

Was elected Queen of the Rodeo four years in a row.

PickYourBattles
10-05-2012, 12:11 AM
Was elected Queen of the Rodeo four years in a row.

Is very secure and doesn't get his ego boosts from the internet.

BRUWIN
10-05-2012, 12:17 AM
Drives a convertable through Compton with the top down.

Jamethon
10-05-2012, 01:17 AM
Is Chief.. strike that, AB Gurney.

BRUWIN
10-05-2012, 02:49 AM
Is Chief.. strike that, AB Gurney.

Juror on AB Guerney's Court Martial...only voted him guilty so he could be home in time for American Idol.

Mr. Happy
10-05-2012, 03:17 AM
Juror on AB Guerney's Court Martial...only voted him guilty so he could be home in time for American Idol.

Approvingly turns the heads of all women as he confidently struts up and down the beach in tight speedos.

raider8169
10-05-2012, 03:28 AM
Approvingly turns the heads of all women as he confidently struts up and down the beach in tight speedos.

Actually earned the 5 on his previous EPRs

Pavegunner72
10-05-2012, 03:30 AM
Got an HJ from Jill Metzger on the rotator back from the AOR.

Absinthe Anecdote
10-05-2012, 04:13 AM
Got an HJ from Jill Metzger on the rotator back from the AOR.

Prefers Gilligan over Ginger and Mary Ann.

imported_DannyJ
10-05-2012, 05:38 AM
Has a Queen poster on his wall at home.

Secretly roots for Georgia. Also has expansive plans to build the world's longest bridge to Cuba because he just LOVES to SALSA!

insidiousbookworm
10-05-2012, 06:44 AM
DannyJ thinks that Chief Balutski is a highly inspirational leader, and would follow him to the ends of the Earth.

Grease Monkey
10-05-2012, 09:49 AM
insidiousbookworm is a very nice, very attractive, and borderline genious person, who has NEVER been infected by and STD as a result of being on the receiving end of a glory hole.

sgtpotsie
10-05-2012, 09:52 AM
Grease Monkey killed a guy with a trident.

giggawatt
10-05-2012, 10:28 AM
^^^Had a band that played in Texas but lacked a fiddle in the band.

Absinthe Anecdote
10-05-2012, 10:33 AM
Grease Monkey killed a guy with a trident.

Uses the moniker sgtpotsie in elaborate Internet sting operations designed to lure perverts who are attracted to tertiary TV sitcom characters from the 1970s.

The all lower case letters in his name indicate he is a submissive "bottom".

KellyinAvon
10-05-2012, 10:39 AM
DannyJ thinks that Chief Balutski is a highly inspirational leader, and would follow him to the ends of the Earth.

You know it's a "post a lie" thread when Blutarsky is refered to by his real name and spoken of with praise.

giggawatt
10-05-2012, 10:47 AM
You know it's a "post a lie" thread when Blutarsky is refered to by his real name and spoken of with praise.

KellyinAvon has met Jill Metzger IRL and holds her in high regard. KiA also thinks that Jill is the nicest person in the world. KiA does not have one bad thing to say about Jill Metzger.

js7799
10-05-2012, 10:56 AM
Giggawatt hates the Patriots and all that they stand for.

KellyinAvon
10-05-2012, 10:59 AM
KellyinAvon has met Jill Metzger IRL and holds her in high regard. KiA also thinks that Jill is the nicest person in the world. KiA does not have one bad thing to say about Jill Metzger.

Giggawatt's avatar is actually him in high school.

giggawatt
10-05-2012, 11:02 AM
Giggawatt's avatar is actually him in high school.

You're supposed to tell a lie. Minus the long hair, that was me.

Floridaboy
10-05-2012, 12:55 PM
Knows the Airman's Creed backwards and forwards.

sandsjames
10-05-2012, 01:00 PM
Knows the Airman's Creed backwards and forwards.

Prefers to "Tebow" when retreat is playing.

imported_DannyJ
10-05-2012, 01:40 PM
Prefers to "Tebow" when retreat is playing.

sandsjames holds the world record of rocky mountain oysters consumed in a single seating, 184.

js7799
10-05-2012, 01:47 PM
sandsjames holds the world record of rocky mountain oysters consumed in a single seating, 184.

Recently discovered a half-intact wooly mammoth in a Siberian town.

Shrike
10-05-2012, 02:40 PM
Recently discovered a half-intact wooly mammoth in a Siberian town.

Is North America's foremost expert on the differences between mammoths and mastodons.

Jamethon
10-05-2012, 02:42 PM
Is North America's foremost expert on the differences between mammoths and mastodons.

Kicks back and enjoys a nice Smirnoff Ice on Friday nights.

Sgt Grandpa
10-05-2012, 02:45 PM
Shrike is actually 18 years old and uses his daddy's military experience to prove a point.

imported_DannyJ
10-05-2012, 02:57 PM
Shrike is actually 18 years old and uses his daddy's military experience to prove a point.

Knows where Jimmy Hoffa is buried.

bb stacker
10-05-2012, 03:14 PM
Knows where Jimmy Hoffa is buried.

was a fluffer on the set of the houston 500

KellyinAvon
10-05-2012, 03:48 PM
Knows where Jimmy Hoffa is buried.

Knows where the guy who buried Jimmy Hoffa is buried.

Jamethon
10-05-2012, 03:54 PM
Knows where the guy who buried Jimmy Hoffa is buried.

Is voting Roseanne Barr for president.

imported_chipotleboy
10-05-2012, 04:21 PM
Is voting Roseanne Barr for president.

Some people call him the Space Cowboy
Some call him the Gangster of Love
Some people call him "Maurice"
'Cause he speaks of the pompidous of love.

KellyinAvon
10-05-2012, 04:45 PM
Some people call him the Space Cowboy
Some call him the Gangster of Love
Some people call him "Maurice"
'Cause he speaks of the pompidous of love.

Never quotes Steve Miller Band lyrics when posting on the forum.

js7799
10-05-2012, 04:47 PM
Never quotes Steve Miller Band lyrics when posting on the forum.

Secretly prefers Mary Kay products.

Jamethon
10-05-2012, 04:50 PM
Secretly prefers Mary Kay products.

Does this every night..

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lok29304xQ1qdj6pxo1_500.gif

imported_DannyJ
10-05-2012, 04:52 PM
Never quotes Steve Miller Band lyrics when posting on the forum.

Some say his discharge is luminous and that he's recently being releasing pop records under the pseudonym of Lady Gaga.

All we know is, he's called The Stig.

FuelShopTech
10-05-2012, 06:39 PM
Some say his discharge is luminous and that he's recently being releasing pop records under the pseudonym of Lady Gaga.

All we know is, he's called The Stig.

Thinks "Resiliency Training Day" is better than Christmas, Easter, and his birthday combined.

BRUWIN
10-05-2012, 06:46 PM
Thinks "Resiliency Training Day" is better than Christmas, Easter, and his birthday combined.

Worships men and the hallowed ground they walk on. Loves the challenge of spouse club volunteering opportunities.

KellyinAvon
10-05-2012, 06:49 PM
Secretly prefers Mary Kay products.

We would have moved to Plainfield, Avon has better schools. KellyinPlainfield doesn't have the same ring.
We now return you to your regularly scheduled thread already in progress.

imported_DannyJ
10-05-2012, 06:56 PM
We would have moved to Plainfield, Avon has better schools. KellyinPlainfield doesn't have the same ring.
We now return you to your regularly scheduled thread already in progress.

Finds the taste of bacon to be "repulsive".

KellyinAvon
10-05-2012, 07:12 PM
Finds the taste of bacon to be "repulsive".
Should not check for a PM I did not send (lying is harder than it looks)

Shrike
10-05-2012, 08:08 PM
Should not check for a PM I did not send (lying is harder than it looks)

Hears the voices of the damned, but strangely they're always singing the theme from The Jefferson's.

sandsjames
10-05-2012, 08:14 PM
Hears the voices of the damned, but strangely they're always singing the theme from The Jefferson's.

Alternate username is Smarg

Shrike
10-05-2012, 08:16 PM
Alternate username is Smarg

Can belch the national anthem...of Bulgaria.

SENDBILLMONEY
10-05-2012, 08:18 PM
Can belch the national anthem...of Bulgaria.

Has never had an EPR or 1206 "red-penned" by the chop chain.

sandsjames
10-05-2012, 08:22 PM
Has never had an EPR or 1206 "red-penned" by the chop chain.

Is the "Capital One" baby and doesn't really want you to send him money.

Jamethon
10-05-2012, 09:25 PM
Is the "Capital One" baby and doesn't really want you to send him money.

Is best friends with PYB.

Pavegunner72
10-06-2012, 12:14 AM
Jamethon was the star towel boy in the Penn State locker room for many years.

RS6405
10-06-2012, 03:22 AM
Jamethon was the star towel boy in the Penn State locker room for many years.

Knew he could not use that for jamessands

Shrike
10-06-2012, 12:37 PM
Due to an unfortunate gummy worm accident, RS6405 has a burning hatred for Swedes.

Absinthe Anecdote
10-06-2012, 04:09 PM
Due to an unfortunate gummy worm accident, RS6405 has a burning hatred for Swedes.

Due to incredibly bad taste and just plain old backwardness, Shrike loves orange circus peanuts.

giggawatt
10-06-2012, 05:30 PM
Due to incredibly bad taste and just plain old backwardness, Shrike loves orange circus peanuts.

AA loves orange circus midgets and Airman of Darkness.

imported_DannyJ
10-06-2012, 05:55 PM
AA loves orange circus midgets and Airman of Darkness.

Is in aggressive negotiations with Keebler to enter the ring-tailed lemur as the 19th animal cracker shape.

imported_DannyJ
10-06-2012, 05:55 PM
AA loves orange circus midgets and Airman of Darkness.

Double post.

Absinthe Anecdote
10-06-2012, 08:18 PM
Is in aggressive negotiations with Keebler to enter the ring-tailed lemur as the 19th animal cracker shape.

Is in a three-way submissive relationship with the Kellogg’s Rice Crispy Elves and is quite content to have them spank him in rapid succession yelling, “Snap! Crackle! Pop!”

RS6405
10-06-2012, 10:32 PM
AA once had a 8th month relationship with a 81 year old cougar

sandsjames
10-06-2012, 10:34 PM
AA once had a 8th month relationship with a 81 year old cougar

RS is an 81 year old cougar.

Jamethon
10-06-2012, 11:13 PM
RS is an 81 year old cougar.

SJ is AA...

VOLZZZMAN
10-06-2012, 11:37 PM
SJ is AA...

Is in AA because of that chick in his avatar

RS6405
10-07-2012, 12:22 AM
Is in AA because of that chick in his avatar


The secret developer of the girlfriend sheets:

http://www.jigneshbapna.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/funny-sleeping-pose.jpg

Shrike
10-07-2012, 01:20 AM
The secret developer of the girlfriend sheets:

http://www.jigneshbapna.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/funny-sleeping-pose.jpg

Tried to kidnap penguins from the Denver Zoo after snorting a mixture of infant laxative and percoset.

sandsjames
10-07-2012, 01:55 AM
Tried to kidnap penguins from the Denver Zoo after snorting a mixture of infant laxative and percoset.

Enjoys a glass of Boons Farm and a Swisher Sweet

giggawatt
10-07-2012, 08:00 AM
Enjoys a glass of Boons Farm and a Swisher Sweet

Enjoys body building and running. Aspires to be Mr. Olympia and to run a half marathon.

Shrike
10-07-2012, 01:14 PM
Enjoys body building and running. Aspires to be Mr. Olympia and to run a half marathon.

Ice skates using figure skates.

RS6405
10-07-2012, 01:45 PM
Ice skates using figure skates.

Has a secret stash of Barney videos that he brings out when the family is not home.

KellyinAvon
10-07-2012, 01:48 PM
Ice skates using figure skates.

Is considering closing his retirement ceremony with "Surfer Bird" instead of the Air Force Song.

RS6405
10-10-2012, 02:40 AM
His name comes from the fact that he was once a very successful Avon Rep

giggawatt
10-10-2012, 09:43 AM
His name comes from the fact that he was once a very successful Avon Rep

KiA was a successful Avon rep because RS6405 is a the single biggest consumer of Avon products.

KellyinAvon
10-10-2012, 09:45 AM
His name comes from the fact that he was once a very successful Avon Rep

Signature block comment about pasta measuring is an actual invitation to dinner.

KellyinAvon
10-10-2012, 09:47 AM
KiA was a successful Avon rep because RS6405 is a the single biggest consumer of Avon products.

Giggawatt, son of Megawatt, grandson of Kilowatt, great-grandson of Watt, great-great grandson of "that dude with a lantern".

RS6405
10-10-2012, 12:51 PM
Signature block comment about pasta measuring is an actual invitation to dinner.

Actually showed up at my door with 79 other people. Dude you keep some strange company!

RS6405
10-10-2012, 12:53 PM
KiA was a successful Avon rep because RS6405 is a the single biggest consumer of Avon products.

Actually resembers Wayne not Garth... but there is a reason why he keeps his picture around

SomeRandomGuy
10-10-2012, 01:07 PM
Actually resembers Wayne not Garth... but there is a reason why he keeps his picture around

Once tried to play a game of basketball in front of WillsPower's home. Nearly got run over because he is a RENTER!!!

sandsjames
10-10-2012, 01:13 PM
Once tried to play a game of basketball in front of WillsPower's home. Nearly got run over because he is a RENTER!!!

Is really a very specific chick.

RS6405
10-10-2012, 03:15 PM
Is really a very specific chick.

Went to Mardi Gras & got more beads than his wife did from the flashing

js7799
10-10-2012, 08:29 PM
Went to Mardi Gras & got more beads than his wife did from the flashing

Gave all his beads to sandsjames at Mardi Gras.

RS6405
10-10-2012, 10:13 PM
Gave all her beads to sandsjames at Mardi Gras.

(Fixed it for you :becky)

JS got NO BEADS for the week he was at Mardi Gras

sandsjames
10-10-2012, 11:38 PM
(Fixed it for you :becky)

JS got NO BEADS for the week he was at Mardi Gras

"RS" stand for "Really Shy".

Sperry1989
10-10-2012, 11:40 PM
Sandjames hits the space bar once after each sentence.

Vrake
10-11-2012, 02:09 AM
Sperry is a special agent platypus who is ahead of his time.

RS6405
10-11-2012, 11:12 AM
Sperry is a special agent platypus who is ahead of his time.

Was voted best mullett in high school!

js7799
10-12-2012, 09:15 PM
Was voted best mullett in high school!

Still has a New Kids on the Block poster on her wall.

F4CrewChick
10-12-2012, 10:15 PM
Still has a New Kids on the Block poster on her wall.
As does js...OMG! I just tweeted this!! (ROFLOL in total sarcasm)

RS6405
10-12-2012, 10:58 PM
As does js...OMG! I just tweeted this!! (ROFLOL in total sarcasm)

Is really a straight military housewife that USN had scared a while back, so she created the F4CC persona for sh*t n giggles.

iReddit
11-29-2012, 03:51 PM
Is really a straight military housewife that USN had scared a while back, so she created the F4CC persona for sh*t n giggles.

Just signed up for Myspace

Measure Man
11-29-2012, 05:46 PM
Just signed up for Myspace

Was the first one cited under San Francisco's new nudity ban.

imported_DannyJ
11-29-2012, 08:22 PM
Was the first one cited under San Francisco's new nudity ban.

Uses the metric system exclusively.

Golther
11-30-2012, 01:50 AM
Uses the metric system exclusively.

Can have an intelligent conversation with anyone.

briefer
11-30-2012, 05:15 PM
Can have an intelligent conversation with anyone.

Is a sockpuppet of Robert F Dorr.

DaveIn3D
11-30-2012, 08:17 PM
Is a sockpuppet of Robert F Dorr.

can cite the accumulated works of Ronald Jeremy Hyatt, and perform them all through interpretive dance.

-3D

RS6405
12-02-2012, 09:07 PM
can cite the accumulated works of Ronald Jeremy Hyatt, and perform them all through interpretive dance.

-3D

Gave up on Dungeons and Dragons just to go on zombie walks on the weekends

RS6405
12-02-2012, 09:08 PM
can cite the accumulated works of Ronald Jeremy Hyatt, and perform them all through interpretive dance.

-3D

Gave up on Dungeons and Dragons just to go on zombie walks on the weekends

KellyinAvon
12-02-2012, 11:41 PM
Gave up on Dungeons and Dragons just to go on zombie walks on the weekends

Walks her zombie with a leash and a cattle prod, then enjoys a zombie made with Baccardi 151.

Robert F. Dorr
12-03-2012, 12:37 AM
BOB: I like KellyinAvon so I don't know if I can think of a good lie about him. How about, "He eats the tops of muffins"?

JOE BONHAM: I don't have anything to add but I have to get another post in, here.

PYB: Eating the tops of muffins is not allowed in the Air Force or under the Constitution.

KellyinAvon
12-03-2012, 12:54 AM
BOB: I like KellyinAvon so I don't know if I can think of a good lie about him. How about, "He eats the tops of muffins"?

JOE BONHAM: I don't have anything to add but I have to get another post in, here.

PYB: Eating the tops of muffins is not allowed in the Air Force or under the Constitution.

Bob obviously hasn't been watching Seinfeld reruns. He is collaborating with Gary Larson (The Far Side) on his next book, "Wills Powers, Misunderstood Genius".

giggawatt
12-03-2012, 06:09 AM
^^^Had a steamy affair with Jill Metzger and got his heart broken. He's been bitter ever since.

RS6405
12-03-2012, 12:39 PM
^^^^^^

Obviously cannot read since he was suppose to post a LIE

:becky :becky :becky

(Oh there's Kelly now..... :bolt)

RS6405
12-03-2012, 12:40 PM
^^^^^^

Obviously cannot read since he was suppose to post a LIE

:becky :becky :becky

(Oh there's Kelly now..... :bolt)

Measure Man
12-03-2012, 02:45 PM
^^^^^^

Obviously cannot read since he was suppose to post a LIE

:becky :becky :becky

(Oh there's Kelly now..... :bolt)

Lost her sizable inheritance investing in a "Hop-on/Hop-off Bus Tours" franchise in Trenton, NJ.

FuelShopTech
12-03-2012, 08:30 PM
Lost her sizable inheritance investing in a "Hop-on/Hop-off Bus Tours" franchise in Trenton, NJ.

Real name is "Immeasurable Man."

imported_DannyJ
12-03-2012, 10:18 PM
Is actually 5'1" and a buck even.

Greg
12-04-2012, 01:34 AM
Is actually 5'1" and a buck even.

Favorite treat is cotton candy.

RS6405
12-04-2012, 01:51 AM
Favorite treat is cotton candy.

Auditioned to be the replacement for Mr. Rogers Neighborhood; however, the producers thought his choice in sweaters was completely wrong.

Greg
12-04-2012, 02:53 PM
Auditioned to be the replacement for Mr. Rogers Neighborhood; however, the producers thought his choice in sweaters was completely wrong.

Generates fashion tips while frequenting the cabarets in the French Quarter.

imported_chipotleboy
12-04-2012, 10:20 PM
Generates fashion tips while frequenting the cabarets in the French Quarter.

He cuts down trees
He skips and jumps
And likes to press wildflowers
He wish he'd been a girlie
Just like his dear papa

Vrake
12-04-2012, 10:21 PM
He cuts down trees
He skips and jumps
And likes to press wildflowers
He wish he'd been a girlie
Just like his dear papa

He's a lumberjack and he's ok.

Robert F. Dorr
12-05-2012, 12:54 AM
A participant in these Forums whose observations are certain to receive the attention they warrant.

RS6405
12-05-2012, 10:38 AM
A participant in these Forums whose observations are certain to receive the attention they warrant.

Actually took a day off from writing in 1978

FuelShopTech
12-05-2012, 12:21 PM
Actually took a day off from writing in 1978

Once defeated an entire castle full of evil bad guys only to get to the end and be told by a talking toadstool, "Thanks RS6405, but the princess is in another castle!"

insidiousbookworm
12-05-2012, 01:43 PM
Once defeated an entire castle full of evil bad guys only to get to the end and be told by a talking toadstool, "Thanks RS6405, but the princess is in another castle!"

Has no idea where the whole "the princess is in another castle" thing came from.

sandsjames
12-05-2012, 01:48 PM
Has no idea where the whole "the princess is in another castle" thing came from.

Is, in fact, extremely sidious.

insidiousbookworm
12-05-2012, 01:51 PM
Is, in fact, extremely sidious.

Is the president and charter member of the PYB fan club.

Greg
12-05-2012, 01:52 PM
Is the president and charter member of the PYB fan club.

Doesn't actually read them, only cares to burrow under them.

imported_chipotleboy
12-05-2012, 02:53 PM
Doesn't actually read them, only cares to burrow under them.

Knows who "They" are...and isn't telling.

js7799
12-05-2012, 05:13 PM
Knows who "They" are...and isn't telling.

Has a lifetime prescription to Chipotle-Away, to take the blood stains out of his undies.

Greg
12-05-2012, 05:17 PM
Has a lifetime prescription to Chipotle-Away, to take the blood stains out of his undies.

Keeps a bottle of Brut cologne in the glove box of his Pontiac T/A.

sandsjames
12-05-2012, 05:41 PM
Keeps a bottle of Brut cologne in the glove box of his Pontiac T/A.Has siblings named Bobby, Peter, Marsha, Jan, and Cindy.

tiredretiredE7
12-05-2012, 05:44 PM
Has siblings named Bobby, Peter, Marsha, Jan, and Cindy.

Loves to lose to PYB in every disagreement they have.

sandsjames
12-05-2012, 05:58 PM
Loves to lose to PYB in every disagreement they have.

Has a solid understanding of the word "lose".

Banned
12-06-2012, 12:29 PM
Has a solid understanding of the word "lose".

Hates boobs and drugs. Only uses missionary position, under the sheets while not making eye contact.

sandsjames
12-06-2012, 01:01 PM
Hates boobs and drugs. Only uses missionary position, under the sheets while not making eye contact. Is a rich, white, Christian minister who plays devils advocate during political/religious discussions.

Banned
12-06-2012, 01:03 PM
Is a rich, white, Christian minister who plays devils advocate during political/religious discussions.

lol, well played.

Spent his early 20s as an intern for Richard Dawkins, is now a major voice in the militant atheist community, and recently won a nobel prize for his thesis on the superiority of socialist economic systems.

imported_WILDJOKER5
12-06-2012, 01:29 PM
lol, well played.

Spent his early 20s as an intern for Richard Dawkins, is now a major voice in the militant atheist community, and recently won a nobel prize for his thesis on the superiority of socialist economic systems.

Well educated, open minded person that is always respectful of other people's opinions that are not his own. And will always take time to see their point of view before "debating" the points where he sees as misinformed.

Banned
12-06-2012, 01:33 PM
Well educated, open minded person that is always respectful of other people's opinions that are not his own. And will always take time to see their point of view before "debating" the points where he sees as misinformed.

Was expelled from St. Jeremiah's Catholic School for Boys, for refusing to recite the pledge of allegiance in class, because "under God" is a violation of separation of church and state. Since then has become a major advocate in the ACLU for teaching evolution in the classroom.

On weekends, Wildjoker runs an abortion clinic for low income women.

sandsjames
12-06-2012, 01:33 PM
Well educated, open minded person that is always respectful of other people's opinions that are not his own. And will always take time to see their point of view before "debating" the points where he sees as misinformed.

Picked his screen name only after realizing there were 4 other WILDJOKER's

Greg
12-06-2012, 01:40 PM
Picked his screen name only after realizing there were 4 other WILDJOKER's

Has a poster of Misty May Trainor on his bedroom wall.

sandsjames
12-06-2012, 01:45 PM
Has a poster of Misty May Trainor on his bedroom wall.

This, in fact, is NOT a lie.

Banned
12-06-2012, 01:49 PM
Has a poster of Misty May Trainor on his bedroom wall.

Has "Fuck da Police" tattooed to his chest.

Greg
12-06-2012, 02:12 PM
Has "Fuck da Police" tattooed to his chest.

Frequents adult bookstores with a roll of papertowels and a latex glove.

js7799
12-06-2012, 04:25 PM
Frequents adult bookstores with a roll of papertowels and a latex glove.

Forgot how the "Post a Lie About the Poster Above You" thread is supposed to work.

SomeRandomGuy
12-06-2012, 04:28 PM
Forgot how the "Post a Lie About the Poster Above You" thread is supposed to work.

Has been known to use the women's restroom at sporting events and leave the toilet seat up.

sandsjames
12-06-2012, 05:11 PM
Has been known to use the women's restroom at sporting events and leave the toilet seat up.

Has been known to fall into the toilet in the women's restroom at sporting events because the toilet seat was left up.

RS6405
12-06-2012, 06:07 PM
Has been known to fall into the toilet in the women's restroom at sporting events because the toilet seat was left up.

Has been known to stand in the toilet in the women's restroom while trying to take peak over the wall

fufu
12-06-2012, 06:17 PM
Has been known to stand in the toilet in the women's restroom while trying to take peak over the wall

His intelligence PEAKED at birth.:whistle

SomeRandomGuy
12-06-2012, 06:24 PM
His intelligence PEAKED at birth.:whistle

Would never make the assumption that everyone who posts on the internet is a man.

F4CrewChick
12-06-2012, 06:46 PM
Would never make the assumption that everyone who posts on the internet is a man.Would never make that assumption because SomeRandomGuy is a woman...

Banned
12-06-2012, 07:18 PM
Would never make that assumption because SomeRandomGuy is a woman...

Works as a student counselor at Bachman's "pray the gay away" camp.

imported_WILDJOKER5
12-07-2012, 01:37 PM
Works as a student counselor at Bachman's "pray the gay away" camp.

Regularly gives to Christian charities.

DaveIn3D
12-07-2012, 04:10 PM
Regularly gives to Christian charities.

Publicly denounces the military-industrial complex while secretly wishing for another war so cutbacks wont effect him.

-3D

SomeRandomGuy
12-07-2012, 04:20 PM
Publicly denounces the military-industrial complex while secretly wishing for another war so cutbacks wont effect him.

-3D

Was asked today to take down his poster of David Hasselhoff in a thong because it is considered inappropriate material.

Greg
12-07-2012, 04:32 PM
Was asked today to take down his poster of David Hasselhoff in a thong because it is considered inappropriate material.

Is documented on numerous LEO reports as...

Measure Man
12-10-2012, 10:17 PM
Is documented on numerous LEO reports as...

Was the inspiration for Ryan Stiles' character, Lewis Kiniski, on The Drew Carey Show.

sandsjames
12-10-2012, 10:40 PM
Was the inspiration for Ryan Stiles' character, Lewis Kiniski, on The Drew Carey Show.

Had a threesome with Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne.

chevyman
12-10-2012, 11:42 PM
Had a threesome with Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne.



Loves midget porn, in fact is the National President of the Bridget the Midget Fan Club.

Greg
12-11-2012, 01:16 AM
Loves midget porn, in fact is the National President of the Bridget the Midget Fan Club.

Has a 427c.i./435hp under the hood.

chevyman
12-11-2012, 09:21 PM
Has a 427c.i./435hp under the hood.

Wants to see Rosie O'Donnell perform a striptease.

Measure Man
12-11-2012, 10:07 PM
Wants to see Rosie O'Donnell perform a striptease.

Wrote a Rap-opera about the life and times of Biggie Smalls. Still shopping it to production companies.

Greg
12-12-2012, 12:38 AM
Wrote a Rap-opera about the life and times of Biggie Smalls. Still shopping it to production companies.

Walks heel-to-toe whenever he enters an unfamiliar room.

chevyman
12-12-2012, 01:30 AM
Walks heel-to-toe whenever he enters an unfamiliar room.

Keeps a picture of Rosanne Bahr in a thong bikini in his desk drawer at work.

PT GOD
12-12-2012, 08:43 AM
Keeps a picture of Rosanne Bahr in a thong bikini in his desk drawer at work.

doesn't masturbate while thinking about me shirtless a the gym and covered in baby oil

chevyman
12-12-2012, 09:20 AM
doesn't masturbate while thinking about me shirtless a the gym and covered in baby oil

Actually likes women.

RS6405
12-12-2012, 04:47 PM
Actually likes women.
Raids drag queens closets for his weekend wear

Robert F. Dorr
12-13-2012, 01:02 PM
Wants to see Rosie O'Donnell perform a striptease.

I'm guessing this is a reference to a television personality. I wonder how many in these forums know that Rosie O'Donnell was a famous figure in Air Force history?

tiredretiredE7
12-13-2012, 01:20 PM
I'm guessing this is a reference to a television personality. I wonder how many in these forums know that Rosie O'Donnell was a famous figure in Air Force history?

Loves and celebrates every holiday.

Robert F. Dorr
12-13-2012, 01:23 PM
Loves and celebrates every holiday.

Is not the same person as Tak.

Robert F. Dorr
12-13-2012, 01:25 PM
Is not the same person as Tak.

"tiredretiredE7 has not made any friends yet."

No kidding.

tiredretiredE7
12-13-2012, 01:51 PM
RFD,

Would like everyone to send a holiday postcard to the address he has provided. Just a postcard, nothing more unless it is a book from his mentor from Foxnews Bill O'Rielly


"tiredretiredE7 has not made any friends yet."

No kidding.

chevyman
12-13-2012, 03:23 PM
RFD,

Would like everyone to send a holiday postcard to the address he has provided. Just a postcard, nothing more unless it is a book from his mentor from Foxnews Bill O'Rielly

Listens to Lagy Gaga to motivate himself during his PT test.

chevyman
12-13-2012, 03:31 PM
I'm guessing this is a reference to a television personality. I wonder how many in these forums know that Rosie O'Donnell was a famous figure in Air Force history?

RFD-

She is an ugly, fat nasty woman. I you saw her naked you would want to shove rusty forks into your eyes.

WeaponsTSGT
12-13-2012, 07:14 PM
RFD-

She is an ugly, fat nasty woman. I you saw her naked you would want to shove rusty forks into your eyes.

Shoves rusty forks in his eyes to keep from getting a boner from his naked pictures of Rosie O'Donnell.

chevyman
12-13-2012, 08:27 PM
Shoves rusty forks in his eyes to keep from getting a boner from his naked pictures of Rosie O'Donnell.

Wears high-heels while dancing with a life sized cardboard cut-out of Justin Bieber.

sandsjames
12-14-2012, 01:29 AM
Wears high-heels while dancing with a life sized cardboard cut-out of Justin Bieber.

Screen name refers not to his love of Chevrolet, but to his infatuation with Chevy Chase.

Measure Man
12-19-2012, 10:50 PM
Screen name refers not to his love of Chevrolet, but to his infatuation with Chevy Chase.

Is completely freaked out by bologna or other meat product that has a first and second name.

imported_DannyJ
12-20-2012, 02:45 AM
Is completely freaked out by bologna or other meat product that has a first and second name.

Is the real-life basis for the character "Kinky Kelly" from Clerks 2.

AJBIGJ
12-20-2012, 02:50 AM
Is the real-life basis for the character "Kinky Kelly" from Clerks 2.

Rubbed one out to "Kinky Kelly" from clerks 2!:painkiller

Greg
12-20-2012, 08:46 PM
Rubbed one out to "Kinky Kelly" from clerks 2!:painkiller

Still working on that backyard birdhouse while watch Tool Time DVD's.

js7799
12-20-2012, 09:05 PM
Still working on that backyard birdhouse while watch Tool Time DVD's.

Cheated on Dharma once.

Greg
12-20-2012, 09:16 PM
Cheated on Dharma once.

Spends evenings thumbing through the J.C.Whitney catalog.

Measure Man
12-20-2012, 09:30 PM
Spends evenings thumbing through the J.C.Whitney catalog.

Was an uninvited guest speaker at The Des Moines School of Mime Homecoming Dance.

imported_DannyJ
12-20-2012, 09:32 PM
Spends evenings thumbing through the J.C.Whitney catalog.

Spends evenings thumbing J.C. Whitney.

js7799
12-20-2012, 10:02 PM
Spends evenings thumbing J.C. Whitney.

Was sung to by Harry Connick, Jr. before his 25th mission over Germany.

Sperry1989
12-20-2012, 10:38 PM
Was sung to by Harry Connick, Jr. before his 25th mission over Germany.

JS is secretly in love with Janet Reno.

Greg
12-21-2012, 12:47 AM
JS is secretly in love with Janet Reno.

...is the date on his Sherpa coin.

VCO
12-23-2012, 03:02 PM
...is the date on his Sherpa coin.

Will never be the man his mother is.

chevyman
12-24-2012, 12:44 AM
Will never be the man his mother is.

Has a shrine built honoring Taylor Swift in basement.

imported_DannyJ
12-24-2012, 02:50 AM
Has a shrine built honoring Taylor Swift in basement.

Is the boy Taylor Swift will "never, never" be getting back together with.

chevyman
12-25-2012, 03:34 PM
Is the boy Taylor Swift will "never, never" be getting back together with.

Has seen every Lifetime movie ever made.

WeaponsTSGT
12-25-2012, 03:55 PM
Has seen every Lifetime movie ever made.

Was the actor who played the kid on steroids in the 1988 after school special that beat his girlfriend.

imported_DannyJ
12-25-2012, 04:05 PM
Was the actor who played the kid on steroids in the 1988 after school special that beat his girlfriend.

Actually works in the Med Lab.

chevyman
12-25-2012, 04:07 PM
Actually works in the Med Lab.

Carries a picture of General Merrill McPeak in is wallet.

Measure Man
04-26-2013, 08:28 PM
Carries a picture of General Merrill McPeak in is wallet.


Co-wrote the orginal screenplay for "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes."

JD2780
04-26-2013, 10:03 PM
Co-wrote the orginal screenplay for "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes."

Has a giant penis.

sandsjames
04-26-2013, 10:15 PM
Has a giant penis.

Constantly brags about being special forces and thinks he's still in the military.

Greg
04-26-2013, 11:47 PM
Constantly brags about being special forces and thinks he's still in the military.

Going OCS, after signing-up for another six.

imported_DannyJ
04-26-2013, 11:51 PM
Used the rope in profile picture to hang 17 people.

Greg
04-27-2013, 12:18 AM
Used the rope in profile picture to hang 17 people.

Thinks women buy into the myth that a man's shoe size equates to penile size, thus the profile pic.

Robert F. Dorr
04-27-2013, 01:00 AM
When not busy with the tape measure, is a huge, huge supporter of the new Facebook page created for me by another supporter:

https://www.facebook.com/RobertFDorrAuthor

This should easily win the prize for best lie on this thread, shouldn't it?

JD2780
04-27-2013, 02:17 AM
Is still relevant!!

Tak
04-27-2013, 02:47 AM
Broke his &%$# trying to &%$# his *&%$.